Entertaining Terry

[Finelly]

Ok, Terry's down with a bad back, and bored silly, so here's the place to post things for her to do, think about, laugh about, or learn.

I will start with How I Met My Husband

About 8 years ago, I popped into a chatroom on AOL and saw this guy debating religion with someone else. I was fascinated and stayed to watch, because the guy was so smart and funny. I kept going back to the chatroom and the guy and I, plus a bunch of other similar folks, all became good buddies. We had a lot in common - all Jewish, all professionals, all around the same age. Nothing romantic at ALL.

A few years later, we all started sharing photos of ourselves. I took one look at the guy's photo and said "come here". Now, I have to tell you, not only was I VERY shy, but I would never even CALL a guy before, much less say "come here". However, being recently divorced and feeling kinda punch drunk that night, did.

So the guy got in his suburban and drove from Texas to Michigan, where I was living, in about 28 hours. He stayed for about 3 days, then went home, quit his law practice, sold his house, and moved to Michigan to be with me. We have been blissfully happy ever since.

Literally, when he kissed me the first time, my knees buckled and he had to hold me up!!!!! We have never had a fight, love exactly the same things, and laugh constantly. I never ever thought this could happen except in romance novels......

Now we live in California which is heaven on earth, so I'm convinced that life could not be better.

[Finelly]

Re: Entertaining Terry

What I love about being thin:

1. I can try on different clothes and not worry about looking fat.

2. When I catch sight of myself in store windows, I don't think "whoah, who is that fat lady?"

3. No back fat!

4. Bathing suit season isn't a tramatic period of time.

5. My stomach doesn't have rolls when I sit down.

6. Short skirts!

7. Shorts!

8. A waist!

9. I can actually allow people to take my picture.

10. I feel much younger, sexier.

It's gonna happen!!!!!!!!!

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

and they lived happily ever after.....insert applause here...

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

Finelly you are a great cheerleader etc, you should be forum hostess

[Finelly]

Re: Entertaining Terry

<blush> Come on, add a story or joke or something to keep Terry entertained!

[Finelly]

Re: Entertaining Terry

Most embarassing moment:

About 18 years ago, when my oldest was 2, my husband and he would "work" outside in the back yard a lot. My husband taught him to pee outside (kind of a guy thing, I guess).

So one day I took my son to the Kmart nursery to look for rose bushes. I'm examining this rose bush, and all of a sudden I hear this familiar sound....

My 2 year old had whipped off his pants and was PEEING IN A POTTED PLANT!

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

ok ok! Now Keep in mind I am a CANUCK! So heres some Canadian humor for ye

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

25 Signs Showing You Might Be Canadian



1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO-MILK".

2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

4. You drink Pop, not Soda.

5. You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the lake, eh!!!"

6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars and no Americans.

7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

12. You brag to Americans that; Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & Mike Myers are Canadians.

13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

14. You know what a touque is.

15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed".

17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

18. You know that the four seasons mean:

almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.

19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".

22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.

23. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"

25. You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them.

And YES my province is Saskatchewan lol

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases... On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things... On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay...

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods... She then cleaned up the kitchen and left...

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days... Then slowly, the house began to smell... They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out... Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned...

Air fresheners were hung everywhere... Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting...

Nothing worked... People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house... The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move...

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house... Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls...

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place...

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going... He told her the saga of the rotting house... She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day...

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork...

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

...including the curtain rods...



I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman finds
attractive can differ depending on where she is in her
cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with
rugged and masculine features.

And if she is suffering from PMS, she is more prone to be attracted
to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his
butt while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected ....

[Finelly]

Re: Entertaining Terry

OMG I am DYING here!!!!!!!!!

[Terry]

Re: Entertaining Terry

ROFLOL

Thanks for these!! I came on to pass some time after reading and watching a movie to find my own post!!

(Icy hot pack is on and doing its thing)

Starmaker.............. Yep, coming from Maine I understood more of them than some but the American in me was confused by the rest! LOL I have also been in all of those stages in that study. Love that woman and the shrimp in the rods! LOL

Finelly............. You are too funny. And such a romantic! My son and a friend would climb a fence when they though I wasnt looking to see who could pee the furthest over it for fun when they were small.

Thanks again for the post! You are awesome!
Sure helped brighten my day!!

[DragonflyMoon]

Re: Entertaining Terry

Those are hysterical... thanks for the good laugh! Here is my contribution... a few from one of my favorite emails that a friend sent to me:

Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:"Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
8. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
9. Meow occasionally.
10. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
11. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
12. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
13. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
14. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
15. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

[Terry]

Re: Entertaining Terry

LOL Dragon!

[DebbietheHugBug]

Re: Entertaining Terry

OMG OMG OMG!!! I damn near peed my pants!

[Starmaker]

Re: Entertaining Terry

I have seen various different versions of that elevator joke, the funniest thing was when one of my DJ's decided to do some of those things. he had the police called on him apparantly, Rofl, wish i had of been there to see it, but many in my crew were so it was just like being there. They said him keeping a straight face was the hardest.