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I say this out of love for STAC, the members in it and to help all of us somehow. I really hope that it is taken in that vein and that at least one of us will see it as a help to them.
Ya know, I have been on this board a long time. I just can't seem to get out of the rut of cheating over and over again, so I decided to read some posts. As I read some posts, past and current, I flashed back to a program that I had seen long ago and yet somewhere deep in my psychy, it remained buried. The reason why it stuck there was because it was important, yet I dismissed it because my brain didn't want to hear it then--and kinda doesn't now.
We all want to do so perfectly on Atkins: eat according to plan and not one carb over the limit, drink our water like good little fish, exercise like the hamster on the wheel, and just do everything so "perfect". We put so much pressure on ourselves to follow this plan to the letter and then some, that sometimes in itsself, that is why we have ended up on STAC. We still have not gotten the idea that there is no such thing as perfect. In anything. That is very hard to hear and to accept but it is the truth. I know I have a hard time accepting it.
If I miss one day of water, chew one piece of gum, or accidentally without thinking tastes something, I feel I have blown my plan for the whole day. Heaven forbid, I actually eat seomthing that is not on the plan period! I torture myself for days on end! We all do it. We punish ourselves for one little slip up and then continue the slide down the cliff because we feel that since it was not "perfect" we ruined it and its no use. Then comes the guilt, shame, frustration and resignation of starting over again.
In quite a few of the posts I have been reading, some people seem to feel they are doomed if they are on this board or that it is a bad thing or seen as failure because they are on STAC; not once or twice but many times they have had to come here or they may have never left at all, yet. There is this sense of failure, shame, or disappointment in themselves that they should have to come here at all. There is this prevailing sense of, we are here because we are not good enough to be on the plan perfectly like everyone else here at ADBB or because we can't follow it as well as everyone else here on the board that has lost X amount of weight and has been on X amount of years. Au contriere!
But I digress, the program.......I happened to be doing something else when I heard this man speak on the topic of weight loss but his next statement caught my ear and interest for the rest of the show and I ran to get a notebook to take notes. He said a lot of the reason people fail at plans is because they put so much pressure on themselves. They want to do everything so perfect, that if one thing goes wrong, it can become a catastrophic event to some people. They either give up completely or they continue to fail at re-starting because that one or two attemps (failures, to them) is constantly in the back of their mind--even if they don't realize it. And it sets up a pattern of constant starting and cheating, over and over (I'm raising my hand because this is so true of me!). He said people need to realize that changing your way of eating is not an easy comittment to make nor is it stress or trouble-free, especially when after years of eating crap you decide to start eating healthier and smarter. Dieting (meaning change of eating habits, not "diets" per say) is not perfect, you WILL fall off the wagon. Not once but several times but that does not mean failure! It means that if you have fallen off more than two or three times, something is not working for you! Usually it is the food. Boredom is the quickest way to lose interest in a plan. You have to check yourself constantly.
The best thing, to me, he said was that WOE you choose, cheating is not a failure; it is a symptom. It is like any illness of the body. Your body and mind is telling you that something is not working for you and you need to change it. And cheating does not mean that because you cheated, you can't continue on right where you left off. Just because you fell off the wagon, doesn't mean that you fell off your way of eating. If you are on low carb, cheating does not mean that since you cheated, you are no longer low carbing. That is the path of WOE you chose and it still is the way you chose.
He gave some prevention things that I think would help all of us, in any WOE:
1. If you are constantly cheating, something is wrong. Usually it is boredom with food, exercise, etc. Find new recipes, buy cookbooks, experiment! Change your exercise routine or anything else in your plan that you feel is not working or needs some spice.
2. Lighten up. Its not that serious. Take a fallen off episode as an "oh well", don't give it one more thought and get right back to the WOE you are on. Don't let the slip up continue in your mind to fester and cause guilt. If you feel that start to happen, try to busy yourself with something so you don't think about it again.
3. Slip ups are not a sign of failure. Every new way of eating and exercising takes practice and trial and error! Don't be hard on yourself if you don't get it right the first few times or the 100th time! You are changing your life here, not changing clothes.
4. Relax and let the plan do its work. Sometimes worrying too much can lead to slipping. Let the plan do its work without worrying every second on whether you are doing it right, jumping on the scale every minute or that two pound weight gain that you swear you didn't put on this week. If after a week or so, things aren't going good, don't worry just change something so it will work.
5. Constatnly review. All WOEs need tweaking now and again. And sometimes if you are not careful, you will slowly creep back to your old way of eating and become comfortable with the same ol' exercises. So keep on top of things by making sure you keep an eye on food and exercise to stop any chance for slipping to creep in.
6. This is forever. Sorry. The big one we don't want to hear--ever. If you are changing your way of eating, whether for weight loss or to stay healthy because you have a health issue like diabetes, hypertension or stroke. This is the one sentence you do not want to hear. This is a lifetime, forever change you need to uphold; there are no breaks, intermissions or time outs. You need to get over the fact that once you lose the weight or get out of the danger zone, you can go back to the way you were before and do it with no consequences. It is not true. People are just shocked and amazed when they regain the weight after going off their eating plans.They think they had it licked. You have to change your life forever and some people cheat and/or relapse after reaching goal because in their mind, they have not really, honestly, and truly accepted that fact. If you are overweight, you need to treat obesity as a disease and that if you go back to prior behaviour, it will kill you because, in a sense, it can and will. Dieting is not a temporary thing.
That was one of the best talks on weight loss I saw on tv but I can't remember the guy's name. He said some things that really hit home for me and I am sure some of you can relate. I re-tell this not to shame anyone, or make them angry or feel guilt. I did it to help myself and also so maybe it will help just one person to get off this merry-go round of rebounding. I hope that it is me and I hope that it will be you, too. I post this because I want those of us who have had a hard time staying on Atkins, who feel embarrassed, frustrated, guilty or shamed they can't stay on plan or are just sick of needing support over and over again can feel some relief that cheating is not the end of the world but the beginning of change for us. I know that sounds silly but that is what it does, if you pay attention to the reasons behind it. You know what I mean?
STAC is for helping each other to get back on the road to help and hold you up with support along the way. While I used to feel guilt, shame and embarassed for being in here and numerous times of having to say "I need help, once again", I love STAC and glad for it. It has helped me numerous of times to stay out of trouble. I am still here because of my own making and while I love the support and people here, it is not my goal to stay here. Nor I hope anyone elses!
I re-tell this to the board so that we can all realize we can change what got us here and we don't have to feel like failures because we have cheated or that we have blown Atkins because of cheating and because I love you all and I feel your disappointment and hurt when you come here and feel like you have failed because you cheated a day, weekend, week or several months. If we chose Atkins as our way of life, then cheat or not, we are still on it!
Now come on everybody! Let us make it our goal to not make STAC our permanent home and to get back on plan and let cheating be our former way or life!
Ya know, I have been on this board a long time. I just can't seem to get out of the rut of cheating over and over again, so I decided to read some posts. As I read some posts, past and current, I flashed back to a program that I had seen long ago and yet somewhere deep in my psychy, it remained buried. The reason why it stuck there was because it was important, yet I dismissed it because my brain didn't want to hear it then--and kinda doesn't now.
We all want to do so perfectly on Atkins: eat according to plan and not one carb over the limit, drink our water like good little fish, exercise like the hamster on the wheel, and just do everything so "perfect". We put so much pressure on ourselves to follow this plan to the letter and then some, that sometimes in itsself, that is why we have ended up on STAC. We still have not gotten the idea that there is no such thing as perfect. In anything. That is very hard to hear and to accept but it is the truth. I know I have a hard time accepting it.
If I miss one day of water, chew one piece of gum, or accidentally without thinking tastes something, I feel I have blown my plan for the whole day. Heaven forbid, I actually eat seomthing that is not on the plan period! I torture myself for days on end! We all do it. We punish ourselves for one little slip up and then continue the slide down the cliff because we feel that since it was not "perfect" we ruined it and its no use. Then comes the guilt, shame, frustration and resignation of starting over again.
In quite a few of the posts I have been reading, some people seem to feel they are doomed if they are on this board or that it is a bad thing or seen as failure because they are on STAC; not once or twice but many times they have had to come here or they may have never left at all, yet. There is this sense of failure, shame, or disappointment in themselves that they should have to come here at all. There is this prevailing sense of, we are here because we are not good enough to be on the plan perfectly like everyone else here at ADBB or because we can't follow it as well as everyone else here on the board that has lost X amount of weight and has been on X amount of years. Au contriere!
But I digress, the program.......I happened to be doing something else when I heard this man speak on the topic of weight loss but his next statement caught my ear and interest for the rest of the show and I ran to get a notebook to take notes. He said a lot of the reason people fail at plans is because they put so much pressure on themselves. They want to do everything so perfect, that if one thing goes wrong, it can become a catastrophic event to some people. They either give up completely or they continue to fail at re-starting because that one or two attemps (failures, to them) is constantly in the back of their mind--even if they don't realize it. And it sets up a pattern of constant starting and cheating, over and over (I'm raising my hand because this is so true of me!). He said people need to realize that changing your way of eating is not an easy comittment to make nor is it stress or trouble-free, especially when after years of eating crap you decide to start eating healthier and smarter. Dieting (meaning change of eating habits, not "diets" per say) is not perfect, you WILL fall off the wagon. Not once but several times but that does not mean failure! It means that if you have fallen off more than two or three times, something is not working for you! Usually it is the food. Boredom is the quickest way to lose interest in a plan. You have to check yourself constantly.
The best thing, to me, he said was that WOE you choose, cheating is not a failure; it is a symptom. It is like any illness of the body. Your body and mind is telling you that something is not working for you and you need to change it. And cheating does not mean that because you cheated, you can't continue on right where you left off. Just because you fell off the wagon, doesn't mean that you fell off your way of eating. If you are on low carb, cheating does not mean that since you cheated, you are no longer low carbing. That is the path of WOE you chose and it still is the way you chose.
He gave some prevention things that I think would help all of us, in any WOE:
1. If you are constantly cheating, something is wrong. Usually it is boredom with food, exercise, etc. Find new recipes, buy cookbooks, experiment! Change your exercise routine or anything else in your plan that you feel is not working or needs some spice.
2. Lighten up. Its not that serious. Take a fallen off episode as an "oh well", don't give it one more thought and get right back to the WOE you are on. Don't let the slip up continue in your mind to fester and cause guilt. If you feel that start to happen, try to busy yourself with something so you don't think about it again.
3. Slip ups are not a sign of failure. Every new way of eating and exercising takes practice and trial and error! Don't be hard on yourself if you don't get it right the first few times or the 100th time! You are changing your life here, not changing clothes.
4. Relax and let the plan do its work. Sometimes worrying too much can lead to slipping. Let the plan do its work without worrying every second on whether you are doing it right, jumping on the scale every minute or that two pound weight gain that you swear you didn't put on this week. If after a week or so, things aren't going good, don't worry just change something so it will work.
5. Constatnly review. All WOEs need tweaking now and again. And sometimes if you are not careful, you will slowly creep back to your old way of eating and become comfortable with the same ol' exercises. So keep on top of things by making sure you keep an eye on food and exercise to stop any chance for slipping to creep in.
6. This is forever. Sorry. The big one we don't want to hear--ever. If you are changing your way of eating, whether for weight loss or to stay healthy because you have a health issue like diabetes, hypertension or stroke. This is the one sentence you do not want to hear. This is a lifetime, forever change you need to uphold; there are no breaks, intermissions or time outs. You need to get over the fact that once you lose the weight or get out of the danger zone, you can go back to the way you were before and do it with no consequences. It is not true. People are just shocked and amazed when they regain the weight after going off their eating plans.They think they had it licked. You have to change your life forever and some people cheat and/or relapse after reaching goal because in their mind, they have not really, honestly, and truly accepted that fact. If you are overweight, you need to treat obesity as a disease and that if you go back to prior behaviour, it will kill you because, in a sense, it can and will. Dieting is not a temporary thing.
That was one of the best talks on weight loss I saw on tv but I can't remember the guy's name. He said some things that really hit home for me and I am sure some of you can relate. I re-tell this not to shame anyone, or make them angry or feel guilt. I did it to help myself and also so maybe it will help just one person to get off this merry-go round of rebounding. I hope that it is me and I hope that it will be you, too. I post this because I want those of us who have had a hard time staying on Atkins, who feel embarrassed, frustrated, guilty or shamed they can't stay on plan or are just sick of needing support over and over again can feel some relief that cheating is not the end of the world but the beginning of change for us. I know that sounds silly but that is what it does, if you pay attention to the reasons behind it. You know what I mean?
STAC is for helping each other to get back on the road to help and hold you up with support along the way. While I used to feel guilt, shame and embarassed for being in here and numerous times of having to say "I need help, once again", I love STAC and glad for it. It has helped me numerous of times to stay out of trouble. I am still here because of my own making and while I love the support and people here, it is not my goal to stay here. Nor I hope anyone elses!
I re-tell this to the board so that we can all realize we can change what got us here and we don't have to feel like failures because we have cheated or that we have blown Atkins because of cheating and because I love you all and I feel your disappointment and hurt when you come here and feel like you have failed because you cheated a day, weekend, week or several months. If we chose Atkins as our way of life, then cheat or not, we are still on it! Now come on everybody! Let us make it our goal to not make STAC our permanent home and to get back on plan and let cheating be our former way or life!
I think the hardest part for me is realizing that I will have to be concious (sp?) of what I put in my mouth, the times I eat and ingredients in my food all the time, for the rest of my life, even when I get thinner.
It seems overwhelming to me now but, God willing, it will one day become second nature and not a pain in the tuckus.
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