'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

[Goofy]

As i awake this morning to a new high, I'm finally making the committment to get back on program. I've now gained back over half of what I had lost. I feel like crap...both physically and mentally. I can't believe I've done this to myself.....again. This feels so much worse than the original weight gain. I was feeling so good and enjoying all my new clothes and compliments. Now only some of those clothes still fit (barely) and I feel like I don't want to leave my house because I'm so embarrassed that I've gained so much back.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest......

Its time to leave the dark place. Time to pick myself up and dust myself off. Obviously, I know that this program works and that I can do it. I just have to keep focused and exercise. I'm going to do it day by day....hour by hour. Its too overwhelming to me to think beyond today.

I'm always setting dates....HAVE to lose XX lbs by XX date....never happens and makes me feel that much worse. Not going to do it this time. I realize that getting healthy is a journey and not a destination....I'll always have to keep working on my lifestyle. The moment I forget that, I slip right back into my old, 'Fat Boy' destructive ways.

So....done feeling sorry for myself. Done pigging out. Done sitting on my arse when I should be on the elliptcal machine.

Today is a new day...new start...the beginning of the return to my happier, healthier self.

I'm off to the gym.......

[Outback Jess]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Hey there goofy...What a great day it is for you! How incredible to come to this day where decision turns to action! You can make it through today...You can set goals to be on program and let the weightloss take care of it's self!

I love your post, it's made my morning! I love when people arrive at the doorway of change..and move past depression, disgust, and disappointmen with themselves and make the step and make the change over to actions that lead totally away...
You should not wake up disgusted anymore..You should wake up sore, excited, organized and on your way!
Dude, you are going to come into the LIGHT OF DAY again, NO MORE DARKNESS.

[cleochatra]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

The date stting is a form of self-sabotage. Now that you know that, and you are changing your perceptions about your weight loss, I have no doubt this time around will be different for you!

You will do great!

[RachelnLa]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

I agree with the date setting and self-sabatoge! Enjoy each and every day and be proud of what you have accomplished on that day alone.. it all adds up in the end.

I'm glad you have joined us. Stock up on legals foods, starting drinking that water, check in daily on the board, start a journal, PM people when the times get rough! We have all been there and back.. and can relate. I could so see myself in your post. You will have good days and bad days.. you will have moments of testing and moments of glory! And we will be here for ya!

[Chris]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Welcome, goofy. Reading your post reminded me, so much, of myself in very many ways; because I know that I've had all those same thoughts. However, you said all the right things, and you said them so eloquently. You do have THE attitude to succeed!

As to setting dates -- fugedaboutit! It never works -- most of us old timers learned that long ago. And, what's the rush? This isn't a race, it's about getting healthy, one day at a time. You certainly didn't gain all that weight overnight, and you're not going to lose it overnight. Remember, although the destination is the ultimate goal, the journey can be pretty darn fabulous in itself.

Wishing you much, much success!

[cathyjobob]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

"Recognition is the greatest motivator." --Gerard C. Eakedale

Congratulations on recognizing what you need to do in order to improve your life...and for taking the first step...coming here

I found the following quote very motivational and I thought I'd share it with you:

"I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.
Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.
With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success.
I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again.
I will walk where failures fear to walk.
I will work when failures seek rest.
I will act now for now is all I have.
Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy.
I am not lazy.
Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed.
I am not a failure.
I will act now.
Success will not wait.
If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever.
This is the time.
This is the place.
I am the person." --Og Mandino
I'm Cathy...nice to meet ya.

[knicknack]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Hiya Goofy!

welcome to STAC! I think we all went through exactly what you described when we decided to hop back on the wagon. I know I did, anyway.

You're right about the dates. Just eat healthy and the results will come. I've found that when I don't weigh myself and don't think about it too much, that it's much much easier.

[julirama723]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Hi Goofy!

Welcome to STAC--your story is a familiar one to us...I think all of us can relate to your difficulties--that's why we're here in the Second Time Around Club. Stop beating yourself up, and focus on being successful.

As for setting "dates", how about setting minigoals instead? Set a goal for 20lb., then for 30lb., then for 40lb. etc. That way you're NEVER a failure--you just reach your success when it is right for your body!

I happened to notice that you're from Michigan...I am from Michigan, too. When I moved out here to Montana a year ago, I thought my life would change in the blink of an eye. I would lose weight, I would become more active, etc. just because I'm in a more "wild" place--more nature, less people. How wrong I was! I thought Michigan was making me fat and that if I left, my body would morph into my true self. Sad thing is, Montana made me even fatter. But I digress...

The moral of that story is that the only thing that's causing our problems is ourselves. The good news is, the only thing that can fix them is ourself! ) And I know you can do it, because you've done it before. All of us have. What we need to figure out is how to keep going, day by day, and make it LIFELONG! This is something I'm learning every day.

When you're frustrated or need help, don't be afraid to post on here. And STAC is awesome! The people here are positive, knowledgeable, and will give you a kick in the pants when ya need it!

Welcome--I wish you much success!

[Goofy]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Hey, Guys!!

Thanks so much for all of the support!! It really does mean ALOT!!

It was a great day! Followed the program. Drank my water. Went to the gym. Looking forward to doing it all again tomorrow.

'FAT BOY' HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!!

- Julirama - What part of MI are you from? I live in the northern suburns of Detroit (for the past 12 years), but grew up in the Irish Hills (west of Ann Arbor).

THANK AGAIN ALL!!!!!!!!!

[Outback Jess]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

Fat Boy Has Left The Building!!!!!! Dude it won't be long and you'll barely be in the building, you'll be a gym rat...or out doing stuff, because of the exciting energy that comes with all the great healthy changes...You will be everywhere....

[Richt]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

How was the gym, Goofy?

[Goofy]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

The gym was good, but I can definitely tell that I've been away from it for a while. Planning to hit the gym again tonight.

Already feeling alot better today. Don't have that 'Oh my God I'm about to BURST' feeling!!

All in all...another good day.



later!

[knicknack]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

way to go, goofy! I can't seem to make it to the gym these days, so you're one up on me!

[Goofy]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

OK....feeling good today....BUT....maybe should have had my little 'epiphany' about getting back on program on November 1st!!

Halloween is ****!!

Haven't cheated....yet. Thinking I better go to bed pretty darn quick before I cave in!!

We didn't have any candy at our house, but I've got 2 little boys...3 and 5. My wife and I took them out trick or treating. We had a blast. My boys are just adorable!! (ok...i'm ever-so-slightly biased!!). Wouldn't rob them of the experience, but sure do hate having the candy (particularly the CHOCOLATE!!!!!) in the house.

[RachelnLa]

Re: 'Fat Boy' is tired of beating myself up...

I took the bag and put it in the cookie jar. Then put the jar wedged between the knife block and the slow cooker. Out of site, out of mind. Chocolate can go in the freezer. Keep a baggie of the candy for each kid.. and bring the rest to work so spread the cheer around. The kids will forget about it in a day or so and it will be all gone