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You all,
I have fallen off the wagon for the umpteenth time and more than my tush is bruised. My ego has been affected greatly by this yet again, disappointing and failed attempt.
I am disappointed, frustrated and embarrassed. I am overwhelmed by my inability to "get it right" and maintain this WOE.
I could psychoanalyze my behaviors and formulate a theory behind my repeated failure and mistakes in regards to diets, this WOE, etc..., however, ultimately, the results are the same (and consistent I might add). It simply comes down to sheer discipline and determination...both of which I seem to struggle with greatly.
A late night (beginning at 10pm) trip to the kitchen uncovered the remains of Christmas treats... I mindlessly treated myself to a cupcake, caramel popcorn and iced tea (heavily sweetened). Now an hour later, I am deeply in regret.
I have dusted myself off many times, but today, it feels different. I simply gave up...I caved in at 10pm!!!! I made it through the majority of the day and could not simply go to bed and wake up with another successful day under my belt!
I do recognize that I had been eyeing these treats all day-inadvertently challenging my mental strength and willpower. Subconsciously, I suppose, I waited patiently for my husband to turn in for the night and seized the opportunity to indulge uninterrupted! I feel similar to the times I would stop for a "snack" on my way home from work and secretly eat in my car. I would eat frantically and dispose of the trash before pulling into my driveway. I would then innocently reply "no" when my husband would come home from work and ask if I had eaten yet. I would then have dinner for the 2nd time that day unbeknownst to my husband!
None-the-less, the damage is done and I am contemplating taking a break from this WOE for a while to relieve myself from some of this pressure. I also intend to take a break from the board. I intend to return when I "figure things out" and stop spinning my wheels.
I know this WOE is the best thing for me and I can say that this is the only WOE that I have ever felt that I could succeed with. This in itself has made my falls that more difficult to accept. Because I recognize that this WOE works, there is no reason that I should not be successful. If I am unsuccessful, it is simply because I am standing in my own way and this is hard to accept!
Self-sabotage at its best!
I will sleep on it and give myself a few days to sort all of this out and if I still feel this way, I will take myself up on my offer to "sit this one out" for a bit.
Thanks for all of the support!
I'll keep you all posted on my final decision soon..........
Any advice is also appreciated. Maybe someone else has felt this way and can provide another perspective because at this point, I am seeing a glass that is 1/2 empty and not 1/2 full!!!!
I have fallen off the wagon for the umpteenth time and more than my tush is bruised. My ego has been affected greatly by this yet again, disappointing and failed attempt.
I am disappointed, frustrated and embarrassed. I am overwhelmed by my inability to "get it right" and maintain this WOE.
I could psychoanalyze my behaviors and formulate a theory behind my repeated failure and mistakes in regards to diets, this WOE, etc..., however, ultimately, the results are the same (and consistent I might add). It simply comes down to sheer discipline and determination...both of which I seem to struggle with greatly.
A late night (beginning at 10pm) trip to the kitchen uncovered the remains of Christmas treats... I mindlessly treated myself to a cupcake, caramel popcorn and iced tea (heavily sweetened). Now an hour later, I am deeply in regret.
I have dusted myself off many times, but today, it feels different. I simply gave up...I caved in at 10pm!!!! I made it through the majority of the day and could not simply go to bed and wake up with another successful day under my belt!
I do recognize that I had been eyeing these treats all day-inadvertently challenging my mental strength and willpower. Subconsciously, I suppose, I waited patiently for my husband to turn in for the night and seized the opportunity to indulge uninterrupted! I feel similar to the times I would stop for a "snack" on my way home from work and secretly eat in my car. I would eat frantically and dispose of the trash before pulling into my driveway. I would then innocently reply "no" when my husband would come home from work and ask if I had eaten yet. I would then have dinner for the 2nd time that day unbeknownst to my husband!
None-the-less, the damage is done and I am contemplating taking a break from this WOE for a while to relieve myself from some of this pressure. I also intend to take a break from the board. I intend to return when I "figure things out" and stop spinning my wheels.
I know this WOE is the best thing for me and I can say that this is the only WOE that I have ever felt that I could succeed with. This in itself has made my falls that more difficult to accept. Because I recognize that this WOE works, there is no reason that I should not be successful. If I am unsuccessful, it is simply because I am standing in my own way and this is hard to accept!
Self-sabotage at its best!
I will sleep on it and give myself a few days to sort all of this out and if I still feel this way, I will take myself up on my offer to "sit this one out" for a bit.
Thanks for all of the support!
I'll keep you all posted on my final decision soon..........
Any advice is also appreciated. Maybe someone else has felt this way and can provide another perspective because at this point, I am seeing a glass that is 1/2 empty and not 1/2 full!!!!
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