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  • Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

    I'm 24. I went on Atkins the first time afew years ago, and lost 59 pounds in 6 months. I went from 170 to 111. I'm 5'4," So that was not underweight (although it was very small and people started worrying). In fact, according to weight charts in the 1972 Atkins book...a medium framed woman of my height shouldn't weigh more than 122. They've changed now, of course.

    Then I went off of Atkins. I did everything completely wrong. I read the old edition of the book - I figured, what's wrong with that? Still, I knew better. But I would lose down to where I was smaller than I really wanted to be. And then I'd go off and eat carbs. When I got to about 130-that was my magic number. Time to go on induction until I'm thin again. Over and over and over. I've lost that 20 pounds at least 10 times. Does that mean I've lost 200 pounds?

    My excuse was some part in the oldest book that says, if you want to cheat, lose more that you want to and cheat. He meant ONE cheat. Not a month of it. And this was before the "golden shot" theory...before he warned about difficulties in yo-yoing.

    Meanwhile my boyfriend-who tends to be underweight if anything-suddenly was diagnosed with late onset type 1 diabetes. I know so much about the metabolic system it's not funny now. And every day I see firsthand the pain that I'm facing if I don't straighten up and deal with my carb sensitivity...which means insulin resistance. And still I screwed around.

    I went back on, but went off because of money. I can eat for less than 10 dollars a week off of Atkins. It's at least 80 on Atkins-and that's if I shop sales and do without things I want.

    I stayed at 131. I gained that extra pound and that was it. The only reason I can think of for this is that I was eating less...If the diet did anything for me it taught me to "eat to live instead of live to eat." I didn't start piling on the weight. My old clothes didn't fit and I had gotten rid of most of the bigger ones. But I was just so happy to be at a "set weight" that wasn't overweight...even if it was only 8 pounds away. Even though I swore I was never taking that chance again.

    Finally I got tired of wearing the same 3 outfits every day. So I went back on my yo-yo plan, expecting it to work. 3 weeks later, I had lost one pound. On the second day. I had been in ketosis-deep purple-constantly. So I figured, heck...If we're only talking about one pound of difference here, I'm going off. I'll learn to be happy right here. With the money I save in food I'll buy new clothes that are one size bigger. Screw it.

    BIG MISTAKE.

    A week later I had gained 12 pounds and looked and felt like crap. Even my three "fat outfits" didn't fit anymore. I've been despairing...the thought that I have to be on induction to maintain the weight I was at on rice a roni and spaghettios before...man, did I blow it. And I couldn't figure out why. I've lost the "set weight" I've dreamed of for 6 years and lost the ability to lose on Atkins all at once.

    So I started researching and came across this forum. Apparently I've posted here before...it recognized my email. I learned things I should have learned before. I'm really NOT a stupid person. But I sure have acted that way. I'm in week 3 of induction. The 12 lbs I gained, I lost within 3 days. And I'm stuck at 130 ever since. And now I know why. I can't believe I screwed up so bad. I know I knew better.

    I measured today, so I'll have a comparison of some kind.

    This time, I'm not feeling better like I used to. And I've been very strict - NO sweets, period. Not even any cheese, after I realized that it makes me gain (yeast?). And NO alcohol...well, one shot of vodka, which strangely preceded the day that I woke up to find I had lost 6 pounds. I've had to do >10g carbs/day just to get where I am...stuck. Of course that is my own fault.

    I live in louisiana. If you think peer pressure is bad in high school to drink, try being an adult here. That's not an excuse, of course. Since the night of that shot, I just haven't gone anywhere. I've stayed home. No social life=no pressure to drink. My poor boyfriend, who monitors his blood sugar religiously and is on his own roll with his own diet, is miserable sitting at home every night. Once I break the plateau and move into phase 2...I know what I've "missed the most," lol.

    This time, it's for life. I feel like such a fool. I apologize for the long post. I'm sure my story is just about the same as most people's, but I wanted to relate it. If only I had practiced what I preached to all my friends...

  • #2
    Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

    CrystalAnn,
    You are in the right place at the right time. (I meant this forum, not Louisiana ) Your story is shared in part by everyone here. Welcome home, post regularly, and we will all help you if you get stuck. You have taken accountability for past mistakes. As far as being in week 3 of induction and being stuck, that's normal. But you are not doing Atkins if you are on week 3 of induction and having a shot of vodka.

    I have recently been sloppy in my execution of this WOE and have only lost a pound each of the last two weeks. It was my fault for not doing Atkins. I went back to a strict induction and guess what, it works. This isn't a some of the rules some of the time plan.

    The golden shot theory is a load of crap too. I'm down 35 lbs on probably my 10th attempt at this WOE. The weight comes off if you follow the plan. If you don't, it doesn't. Age does play a factor. I'm not losing the weight as quickly or easily as I did a decade ago. I also realize that I didn't wake up one morning as a bald fat guy. It took time to get this way, it will take time to be a bald skinny guy. I'm worth the time.

    Hope to see you in here often, it helps.

    T. J.
    "...Health and fitness are more than just personal goals - they're gifts we give to the people around us. Being fit and feeling on top of our game will ensure that we're there for the people who rely on us. It will make us better fathers, husbands, friends, lovers... and yes, even better sons." -David Zinczenko -Mens Health Magazine
    39M/Married with two wonderful kids
    Mini goal #1 - 225 1/16/2010
    Mini goal #2 - Stick with this WOE until 1/31/10
    Mini goal #3 - 214 No longer obese
    Mini goal #4 - Stick with this WOE until 2/28/10
    Mini goal #5 - Stick with this WOE until 3/31/10
    Mini goal #6 - 199
    Mini goal #7 - Survive Easter on plan
    Mini goal #8 - Stick with this WOE until 6/30/10

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    • #3
      Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

      CrystalAnn, welcome, Your story is pretty typical, lots of us give it up and then kick ourselves when we are back to square one.



      41 pounds down and counting

      If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else. - Yogi Berra

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      • #4
        Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

        tfek70-you are absolutely right about the vodka. That was a mistake I made 3 days in, thinking that it had always been fine in the past. After that, I stopped going out so the temptation would be nonexistent. It's not at all difficult to refrain from drinking when I'm at home. So I suppose when I posted I had only been on strict induction for 2 weeks and 4 days, instead of 3 weeks. I can't count the first 3 days.

        As far as losing..I think I broke the plateau, for the time being. The day after I first posted I woke up to find I had lost a few ounces...and it's been steady, a few ounces a day, since then. I've also lost an inch around my waist...yay!

        Thanks for the encouragement guys!

        I've got to find some better way of viewing this forum...I have to click on "go advanced" to see any relies to any post. I thought no one was replying to any post...when I would click on them, they only showed the originals, lol. Is is supposed to be that way, or am I doing something wrong? It's certainly different from other message boards I've used.

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        • #5
          Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

          Crystal Ann, so glad you are back.

          I had originally hoped to lose my weight in 4 or 5 months. Then, when I saw how slowly I am losing this time, I've had to push my goal back several months. I get so frustrated sometimes, but I just have to accept that that is the way my body is functioning now at my age. At least it IS coming off.

          It sounds like you might be in the same boat. Even if the weight comes off at a crawl, at least it is coming off.

          No, we all see the replies below the post the way they are supposed to be. I am guessing it might have something to do with your computer settings.
          ...

          Female, age 60, 5'5", small frame

          My food journal





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          • #6
            Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

            Welcome to STAC'ers CrystalAnn.


            Julie
            Re-Start Date 1/03/09 SW 232/LW199/CW 192
            #1 Goal 215 2/11/09
            #2 Goal- 198 4/26/09
            #3 Goal- 189
            #4 Goal- 179 #5 Goal- 160






            July 28th, 2008 Spinal Fusion L4-S1. 85% fused as of Jan 9th, 2009




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            • #7
              Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

              Figured it out! For anyone else who is having troulble, go to the top right, and under "display modes" select "hybrid."
              And then it looks like a normal forum.

              Oh man...Mardi Gras is just kickin' into high swing down here. I thought not drinking the rest of the year was hard! And on top of that...King Cakes everywhere!!!! All that fabulous...sweet, doughy, bread with colored sugar on it, is the only way I can describe it. Sometimes it has a filling. I always preferred it without. It doesn't sound great...but man, when you're raised to look forward to something all year, it gets better and better.

              My poor kid wants to know when we're getting one...he likes the little plastic babies. They hide them inside the cake, and whoever gets the piece with it buys the next cake. Most people give the baby to a kid. I used to collect them, too. I had 'em in all different colors -generally different flesh tones, but sometimes there's a weird odd colored one. I could sometimes collect 5 or 10 in one season, and would trade (or argue over 'em) with other kids. I want him to be able to have that experience - it's such a big part of life here, Mardi Gras and all that. But if I get one, I know what will happen. I've eaten it every year at this time for 24 years. It's like brainwashing.

              We went to dinner last night at a friend's...they cooked an entirely Atkins-Friendly meal just because I was coming, which was incredibly nice. Except...of course it included dessert. A King Cake. I didn't have any, but it took everything I had.

              And then there's the parades - I've taken my kid to New Orleans for the past 3 years for day parades. Lucky Dogs and Beignets...we always stop by Cafe Du Monde. Beignets are one of those things I just can't get right at home, so he gets 'em once a year.

              And Saturday is the "Krewe of Wrecks" near where I live - a boat parade...a friend who lives on the water always hosts a "grown-up" party... general debauchery and of course copius amounts of liquor.


              I love this place for its culture. And I hate this place for its culture!

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              • #8
                Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

                Thanks for sharing, I can relate with the alcohol part. I think everytime I have a couple drinks it ruins everything with the cravings, stomach aches etc. I recently promised myself I'd stay in for awhile on the weekends and avoid social activities where I'd be tempted. Whatever fun we are missing out on, it isn't as important as feeling good about the way our body looks and the effect that has on our self esteem, confidence & health. Cheers to staying on path for once and for all!
                Leesh

                SW/226, CW/199
                Second Time Around Club
                Re-Start Date: 6/7/09

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                • #9
                  Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

                  Welcome back, Crystal! Yes, there is temptation everywhere, and you don't have to be in Louisana to have to fight it everyday. But there something more important than the taste of anything that tempts us and that's self-esteem. We can hold our heads up high when we don't give in and that's better than any food or drink!

                  Good luck to you. We have all been where you are and together we can fight this thing we call fat!
                  Aka Nyna
                  HW199/CW168.5/GW155

                  "Enough is as good as a feast".~Lord Byron

                  Remember, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!

                  X16 X14 X3

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                  • #10
                    Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

                    Crystal - Welcome back! And kudos to you for taking the first step. In reading your posts, I feel for you in the temptation area and agree with the others that the reward is short lived if you give in. You said you were below 10 grams of carbs a day. Induction is 20 grams with around 12-15 coming in the form of veggies on the induction list. Make sure you are eating throughout the day and drinking at least your 64 ounces of water. You might also find it helpful to only weigh once a week and take your measurements at the same time. Our weight tends to vary from day to day. Stay strong!

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                    • #11
                      Re: Well, Here I am, feeling like an idiot

                      BlueberryLady- you are certainly right. Temptation is everywhere, not just here. That feeling of wanting to be a part of what everyone else is doing...I know everyone goes through that at Christmas, Thanksgiving. This isn't the only holiday that's all about eating!

                      I think it just makes me a little sad. It the past I always cheated for this holiday. When I couldn't have something, I just thought, eh, I can have it another time. That helped get me through. But that's the wrong thinking. I've promised myself that this time it was for life...and that means, forever and ever - I can't have it later. I'm having to rethink things that I used to look forward to all year...plans I made for my life, for what my family traditions would be...that makes me sad. For my child not to have the moments that I had with my mother - I feel like he's missing out. I certainly wouldn't have enjoyed doing thise things while she refrained. My mother is a naturally thin person though - never in her life has she had any weight problem. Too bad I didn't inherit that!

                      Leesh - I'm glad to know someone doesn't think I'm just a lush, lol. Thanks for the encouragement!

                      Josie - I've been reading the 2002 book - before I went by the one from the 70's. There are a lot of things different! One of them is that in the older book it seems like going below 20g is fine - in fact, necessary - for some people. I've got to figure out a way to eat enough! The water - the first couple days of making sure I had enough were awful. Now, I feel SO MUCH better! I actually CRAVE it!

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