Emotional Meltdown....

[Simone]

Today I am just an emotional wreck. For the past 2 months or so I have been experieincing a chronic pain my lower left abdomen. I thought it was gas, but it will not subside. I went for a ct, and found a possible issue wiht my liver but need and mri to confirm. Well I couldn't fit in the mri machine. I am going to try the mri again in a supposedly "bigger" machine in Landstuhl, Germany on Monday. Then I am going to see a Gastroenterologist on Tuesday. No one seems to know what is wrong with me. That said, I read the consult that the Dr. sent for me to get an appt with the GE. It read "African American Female, 37, with morbid obesity complaining of abdominal pain and constipation...." When I read that my mood went straight to the dump. "Morbid obesity" just conjurs up deplorable appearance to me. I dont' see myself as grotesque, just fat. Not disgustingly so....I just feel like the written words cut me deeply. I just don't wanthose words to describe me. I just do not want that for me....

Sad...aren't I?

[wannabethintoo]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

I know how hard that must of been to read but you're doing something about your weight right? Cheer up and good luck with finding out what's wrong.

[not2late]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Hey Simone.

Don't let that sadness you feel turn to a deep depression. Turn it into something positive. You don't want to be that morbidly obese woman do you? So get your fanny moving on losing that weight!

You can do it!

So check out of the "Woe is Me Hotel" immediately. Today is your first day to becoming Simone, the normal build woman.

[Finelly]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

almost 3 weeks ago, when I got ready to start this WOE again, I recorded my weight, height and age on fitday or one of the other computer sites.

I registered at "dangerously obese". Terrifying. I am 5 ft 5 and weighed 218 lbs. Could wear a size 16 or 18 comfortably. I've definately seen people heavier than me all over!

I think medical people come up with scary words like that, disgusting terminology, with sort of a blind callousness. They don't care how we feel. (I'd much rather see "extremely heavy", "very obese")....

I think you should focus on how far you have come just starting this woe and eating the right foods. Forget what the medical chart says. Talk to the dr about it -see what was intended by that remark, explain that you are on a food plan and see if you can get some encouragement!

Hang in there! We know you can do this! Sticks and stones, you know....

[Terry]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....



It does sound kind of harsh when reading something like that especially when you are reading it about yourself.

The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" is wrong. Words CAN hurt more than stones.

Im thinking adding the "morbid obesity" part was unwarranted for reasoning why you were there in the first place. Skinny people can have abdominal pain and constipation and the consult would not have read "skinny person complaining of abdominal pain and etc...."

All I can give for advise is hold your head up high and know that you are making the neccessary changes to be a more healthy you. The h*** with them. Concentrate on finding the cause of your pain.

And come here for support and plenty of hugs. Keep us posted with your tests and let us know what you find out.

[JESTEROO]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Hello all . . .

As someone working in the medical field, I would like to shed a bit of light on the subject.

The words "morbid Obesity" simply means that a person is 50-100%, or pounds, above the weight they should be. They use the term "morbid" because this high percentage is lethal to the body. It is the cause of many life threatening diseases. On the other hand..... you can have someone who weights a thousand pounds, who says they are not hungry and cannot eat....on the chart, they will write that the person "claims anorexia." Anorexia....usually meaning too thin....might make the person say " I never said I was anorexic." It us just the way the terminology goes - stupid I know.

They might have included the term Morbid Obesity, simply because they were going to that specific location for a specific reason : there were / are concerns about fitting into the machine. For a technician, this means a little more "prep" work in the machine room.

As far as writing what the patient is complaining of - it again, is using medical terminology - and the technician running the test needs to know what the complaint is - so they know what series of scans to run, and what part of the body to focus on.

I myself am morbidly obese - I way 85 pounds more than I should. When I think of those words, I know they are true. If I don't get this weight off of me.....it will kill me. I try to think of it as a motivator . . .

Don't let it get you down . . . it's just words. It doesn't describe who you are . . .

Hope this helps.

Jesteroo

[Terry]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

How are you doing this afternoon Simone?

[Simone]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Well it's almost 9pm here. I am not quite ready to go to bed and fighting off my desire to just pig out. I knwo it seems stupid...I don't want to be called morbidly obese, so why would I pig out? Wierd thing is, pigging out, especially on sweets, make me feel better...for about 10 minutes. But the high is awesome. I have never done drugs, but from what I read about crack, I think the feeling is the same. I mean everyone knows that crack is bad for you. right? But millions of people do it anyway jsut for the high...just for 10 minutes. Well, that is how the sweets make me feel. Fighting it with all I have. Playing spades on line....to pass time. I just pray that I can get through it. I have read that I have to face the feeling that I am trying to numb....not sure how to do that. I just don't want to be fat...plain and simple. That is the feeling I want to numb. But it is a reality so how can I do anything but face it? Doesn't seem to make me not want to eat sweets to face that reality...any psychotherapists in the house? Then again if you are, you would not be fat right? I am just a convaluted (sp?) mess of a person right now. Don't want my husband to touch me....thinking "ewww he touch that roll, how disgusting he must be feeling". My baby boy likes to touch my stomach and say "mommy's big belly". It used to be cute...today I coudl ring his little neck (not litterally). Anywhooooo that is how i am doing..

[not2late]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Stay strong Simone! you can do it. Tomorrow morning, get some oxygen pumping through your body and brain---go for a walk or stroll in some nice park.

The only way to stop being fat is to work on being slender! Tonight you can start working on it by not pigging out on sweets. Tomorrow, you can start working on it by sticking to the diet and by getting some exercise.

Prove those doctors wrong, Simone, lose that weight. Get fired up to lose it!

You don't want to be known as "that fat woman", right? Well, start working on becoming that slender woman.

You can do it Simone.

[Finelly]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Hang in there, sweetie. Your addicted brain is telling you stupid things. Why shouldn't it? It's worked in the past. But only, as you said, for 10 minutes.
Can you get up and take a walk now? Take a hot bath?
Get some sleep and tomorrow you will feel more able to cope. You're just vulnerable right now.

[america57]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Looks like you got some good advice from everyone else, I just want to send you a hug and let you know I'm thinking of you and praying for you, hang in there!

[happierme]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

I have pains all the time in my abdominal area, especially under my rib cage. I had ultrasounds done on liver, speen, gallbladder, etc. and nothing was found. I also had a ton of blood work done but everything was normal. I think it's IBS cause I have gassy problems and being over weight puts a huge amount of stress on all your organs and especially your SPINE. The back aches can go to your stomach area (believe it or not). Try to remain strong, get the tests done and you'll feel better. I have GAD. Generalized Anxiety Disorder which can cause stress on your stomach from being overly worried. Just use a heating pad on your stomach 3x a day and don't get too worried. Drink more water , as much as you can because this does help alleviate pain. If the diet is bothering you, take a couple days off from food altogether to give your stomach a break. I use to fast for a couple days here and there and it really helped me out.

How long has this pain been going on?

Anyway, I hope you feel better. I guess I'm morbidly obese too....oh well....I'm fixing that.

[Terry]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Hi simone!

I was thinking of you and thought I would check in on you.

How are you doing today?

[Simone]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Hi. I am doing ok. It is about 1 in the morning here and I can't sleep. Wondering about the MRI appt. tomorrow morning. Will I fit? Will I freak out again? The Dr. gave me a sedative to take in the morning. I am just anxious.

I tried on old clothes today again....Now I am saying..."just a few more inches here or there" rather than a few more pounds. I see a difference finally and I am enjoying that knowledge.

Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it so much!

[not2late]

Re: Emotional Meltdown....

Try to get some sleep, Simone. Even just lie down and try to relax or lie down and read a book.

Remember scales are evil. Your tape measure is your friend.