i feel worthless

**slimndown** · October 28, 2005, 03:22 PM

Re: i feel worthless

I've felt that way before, myself. If you follow induction correctly, by the end of the week you'll feel better - at the end of 14 days you will feel less obsessed with food and at the end of 21 days you will have created a new habit and a healthy way of eating. That's the bad news. The good news is, you'll lose some weight in the process. Make sure to exercise, if you can - it really helps.

**cleochatra** · October 28, 2005, 03:24 PM

Re: i feel worthless

oops. Nevermind

**wannabethintoo** · October 28, 2005, 03:30 PM

Re: i feel worthless

Yeah, I double challenge you! Do you think you can do it for 14 days? Clean induction, no cheating, lots of water and exercise, report here every day on how you're doing? Can you do that?

**cleochatra** · October 28, 2005, 03:31 PM

Re: i feel worthless

lalala

**2big4mysize** · October 28, 2005, 03:45 PM

Re: i feel worthless

How far into your induction are you? feeling rotten is a very normal part of carb withdrawals. just like a druggie you are jonesing and your body will do anything to get a fix of carbs. hang in there and in just a very short time you will be amazed at how great you feel on your new healthy Way of Eating getting healthier and smaller every day.

what happened between your last posts on the 23rd and now that you are feeling like this?

Happy low carbing.

**shorty140** · October 28, 2005, 05:27 PM

Re: i feel worthless

im trying to start induction. i find it so hard to eat fat... im 20 and ive had an eating disorder since i was 11, and have ALWAYS obsessed about food w/o eating it..i was weighin 89 lbs 4 months ago and i am 5'6...i was put in the hospital and went thru recovery..now i weigh 131...i dont want my recovery to mean get fat...i really want to do this diet because i hear it makes you not hungry,and it keeps you satisfied, because carbs are the trigger foods..i just weighed myself this morning and i started crying and i havent stopped crying all day..i dont even want to go out, because im so embarrassed ...i havent left my room in 3 days...i know it may sound weird to you guys because im not very overweight, but in my eyes i just see someone who is not worthy to eat...i came to atkins in search of a new lifestyle..one that involves eating, not starving like i always do..but i also dont want to get fat..i still want to lose a little bit more..around 10 lbs..i want to get better...im just so confused on how to do atkins, and fitday.com..im sorry for my whining, i know its hard to understand my views...i just come here for support and help..i dont want to go back to my old ways and starve myself to death..but it seems like its the only way to lose weight, or at least not gain

thanks for ur help

ps
i think you are all great, and you do so great, i just wish i could be like all of you

**cleochatra** · October 28, 2005, 05:44 PM

Re: i feel worthless

I've deleted other posts and added this one since they were not appropriate for someone with an eating disorder.

{{{shorty}}} Your honesty is the best thing I've read in a long time. You know what your limitations and weaknesses are, and I SO applaud you for that. You only have 10 pounds to lose, so this is my personal advice:

1) Exercise. You want to look good. Thin is fine, but skinny --without fit --isn't it.

2) Work with your doctors!

3) Be careful. Ketosis makes you not hungry. This is not a starvation diet. You still have to eat a minimum amount of calories per day and keep a fit day journal. Atkins isn't a crash diet.

Do you have the 2002 version of DANDR? If not, start reading it, in addition to many of the helpful threads here at ADBB. It tells you a lot about what this way of eating really entails, and it is worth buying, especially if you are trying to keep your blood sugars stable.

You want an overall healthy lifestyle, but you have to start living it. You can do it.

**2big4mysize** · October 28, 2005, 06:44 PM

Re: i feel worthless

so do you have a fitday.com free account you are tracking your foods on? what have you eatten in the last 5 days that has caused you to be so upset?

You do know with only 10 pounds to go you should be eating the premanitenance levels and that it should take you 6 months minimun to lose those pounds doing Atkins?

Have you consulted your treatment team for follow up appointments and what do they say about your weight?

**kealoha** · October 28, 2005, 08:13 PM

Re: i feel worthless

I had an eating disorder the majority of my teenage life. I was also 89 pounds when I was forced to get help. When I finally made the decision to change, I was SO obsessesd with not going back to the way I was before that I overcompensated and binged instead of starved. (I was never much of a purger) That, along with many other things, is what has landed me here, overweight and unhappy.

I am still extremely obsessive about food, which has actually become a good thing with this WOE. I like that I know EXACTLY what I can and cannot eat. I basically freak out if I get near sugar now because it's forbidden. I was making my kids cupcakes the other day for their halloween party and I got some frosting on my finger. Normally, I would have just licked it off, but I just stared at it and thought, "OMG, I have SUGAR on my finger!!! What am I supposed to do?!?!?! I can't lick it off!!! OMG, what am I going to do?!?!?!?" I was totally freaking out because I was so obsessed with "SUGAR IS FORBIDDEN" that it didn't even occur to me to just wash it off! LOL But, it really helps me stay on track. I've been given something else to obsess about. I no longer obsess over NOT eating and I no longer obsess over NEEDING to eat as much as possible or risk going back to my old ways. Now I have a whole new obsession, ONLY eating the things that are okay on induction. I have the obsessive mindset that if I so much as lick frosting off of my finger I'm going to balloon up and destroy everything I've done so far, which is exactly what I need to not cheat.

I'm hoping that one day food won't be so much of an obsession, but I've found if I can focus my food obsession on something other than, "I cannot have more than 200 calories a day or I need to throw up" like it used to be and "I cannot eat less than 2000 calories a day or I'll start aiming lower and lower and lower until I'm in the hospital" it helps me. Try not to focus on the fat. Try not to focus on the calories. Do your best to focus only on eating only the things that are acceptable on induction. Try to make that your obsession. You need to switch your thinking from "fat and calories are bad and will make me fat" to "the things not on the list are bad and will make me fat." I know it's a difficult switch to make.

If you need to, try to schedule when you will eat. You're supposed to eat when you're hungry. My problem has always been that since I starved myself for so long, I just don't get hungry anymore...at all. In fact, if I let myself get hungry, my body is convinced I'm actually sick to my stomach, which makes me not want to eat at all. So, hungry or not, I make sure I eat every five hours I'm awake. It might just be a hard boiled egg, but without fail, I eat on that five hour mark. If I only had an egg last time, I make myself something more substantial the next time. It actually gives me yet another thing to obsess about, which leaves less time to obsess over my old bad habits.

It's my hope that all of this will become second nature to me and will no longer be an obsession, simply a way of life, and that I'll finally become free of the horrible food obsession that has plagued me for so long.

**Brook** · October 28, 2005, 08:19 PM

Re: i feel worthless

Have you consulted your treatment team for follow up appointments and what do they say about your weight?

Thank you for asking this 2big.

After being out of treatment for only 4 months and still finding yourself obsessing about the weight and looking for ways to lose it again - I'd strongly suggest you get back in touch with them and STAY in touch with them to guide you.

We're two peas in a pod so far as the ED issues go. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this will not be a recurrant issue for you off and on throughout your life. Odds are it will be, and this is why staying in contact with the people who know you, your history and your particular issues is paramount to your health.

10lbs at this stage in the game isn't worth throwing yourself into another downward spiral. Run everything past them and get their support. You've gotta crawl before you can walk, hon.

There is a distinct difference between using food to treat and using food to punish. Your best bet is to get your hands on a copy of Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution and read it cover to cover, then read it again. While doing that, make an appointment with your therapists, and clean up the junky eating you're doing in the meantime.

(((((Hugs)))))
~Brook

**tabekat** · October 28, 2005, 09:10 PM

Re: i feel worthless

I never had any control over my weight or my appetite my entire life. I'm 47 years old. I had lost all faith in diets. I too was sure I would never be in a place where food didn't run and ruin my life. I thought it was hopeless. I was wrong. Atkins has freed me and it can free you too. If you take Atkins seriously, don't cheat, and allow yourself to fall deeply into ketosis, you will soon see a serious change in your life. I call it spiritual. Your ability to resist unhealthy food will increase. You will be able to eat lots of healthy food in a very natural way and never gain weight. You will have clarity about your relationship with food. You will heal. Don't despair. Allow Dr Atkins to guide you to a better place.

**Desertthorn** · October 28, 2005, 10:08 PM

Re: i feel worthless

Shorty, have you ever found a local support network. Sometimes its just helpful to have friends around you who have been where you are and done what you have done, been tthere so to speak. Have you talked to your doctor about your feeling.
I agree with the rest of the folks. Just do induction until your in ketosis, then start up the ladder. Make sure everthing you eat is good healthy food

**tracymax** · October 28, 2005, 10:42 PM

Re: i feel worthless

Hi...I am by no means an expert or medical professional, but I'm really wondering about whether you should be doing any weight loss phases of Atkins. It seems like you've got some unresolved issues with food, and Atkins can only help you when you're ready for it. I worry that if you do experience ketosis and sizeable weight loss, you might find it difficult to move up the rungs. As said before, this is not a starvation diet, and the fact that you're still so distraught about eating is troubling. No matter, I hope you get a handle on things and are able to have a healthy, successful relationship with food, and with yourself. You deserve that.

**shorty140** · October 29, 2005, 01:07 AM

Re: i feel worthless

yes that is why i came here, to try this lifestyle...i feel like it is too complicated to restrict,restrict,restrict...it started out with restriction, and it ended up in no food for long periods of time..I came here because i really want to get better for myself..and i am finding myself going back to old habits, that i really want to get rid off...i am also in a lot of need for protein, because i have done a lot of damage to my body, my hair has gotten very thin and brittle. I have been doing a lot of research on this wol and am so happy to start it!!! it seems almost unbelievable and a life saver!!! i just think, could this be it for me???? because if its not im scared for my life, i really dont want to go back!!!! i hope i can find support here...im also really trying NOT to go to anymore pro anorexia/bulimia forums..there are so many out there and they are the ones that made me the way i was, id much rather find support here!! where you guys are healthy and happy!!! i hope your happiness rubs off on me!!!!

how in the heck does fitday work?? i added my veggies in today and it said i went way past my carb intake??? am i failing already???

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