Suffering from deep seated issues about food

[rescueme1975]

Okay, I have been in induction for 11 days, I'm doing great. But for some reason I'm feeling a bit sad. I'm losing weight and all, but sometimes the thought of not being able to eat the cakes and rich foods that I use to eat is kind of depressing. I don't even have a taste for sweets, but the fear of eating cake/sweets just once has me worried that I'm going to blow up all over again. I guess I feel deprived in some way.

I've done Atkins before and this is where I fell off last time. I was successful the first time also. The thought of not having sweets again worries me. Will I ever have control or is this something that I'm going to have to give up? I don't want to be big my entire life so this is something I must do. I'm realizing that half of the battle right now is mental.

[ValidRouge]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

You know, I was talking to another member just yesterday as she is now quitting cigarettes. We were just discussing how one of the withdrawal feelings is SADNESS or even GRIEF. How sick is that? When I quit smoking, I literally CRIED thinking that I wouldn't have my friends. There are days when I feel like I could CRY thinking that I will never have <insert junk food here> again.

How sick is that??? When I give myself a reality check, I get really ticked off that I have become that ADDICTED to something that has made me FAT and SICK and MISERABLE in my life. Without sugar, flour, rice, pasta and CIGARETTES I am HEALTHY and HAPPY and THIN. Why on earth do I feel sad, or do I feel grief, or do I feel desperation? Its because it is an addiction.

If I were addicted to Crack, Heroin, Meth or Alcohol (and cigarettes) I would KNOW that I couldn't have those things EVER again. I've had to come to accept that about eating carbohydrates too. And it really boils down to this....it is MY CHOICE. I can be addicted and feed my addiction to those carbohydrates and be FAT AND MISERABLE or I can quit and be HEALTHY and THIN.

You've got to decide what's important to you.

[Monroe]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

You know, I was talking to another member just yesterday as she is now quitting cigarettes. We were just discussing how one of the withdrawal feelings is SADNESS or even GRIEF. How sick is that? When I quit smoking, I literally CRIED thinking that I wouldn't have my friends. There are days when I feel like I could CRY thinking that I will never have <insert junk food here> again.

How sick is that??? When I give myself a reality check, I get really ticked off that I have become that ADDICTED to something that has made me FAT and SICK and MISERABLE in my life. Without sugar, flour, rice, pasta and CIGARETTES I am HEALTHY and HAPPY and THIN. Why on earth do I feel sad, or do I feel grief, or do I feel desperation? Its because it is an addiction.

If I were addicted to Crack, Heroin, Meth or Alcohol (and cigarettes) I would KNOW that I couldn't have those things EVER again. I've had to come to accept that about eating carbohydrates too. And it really boils down to this....it is MY CHOICE. I can be addicted and feed my addiction to those carbohydrates and be FAT AND MISERABLE or I can quit and be HEALTHY and THIN.

You've got to decide what's important to you.

I couldnt't agree more with validrouge! I believe most of it IS an addiction. Most addictions aren't cured over-night. You just have to be strong and realize what is more important to you. Believe it or not, I was HIGHLY addicted to a video game called world of warcraft! I use to play it 14 hours a day! It's been 2 weeks since I stopped playing, cause it turned me into something I am not. I felt if I didnt quit that I would have more trouble doing atkins. I know that isnt the same as a slice of cake, or a candy bar, but I do understand where your coming from.


Infact, 3 years ago sweets is what ruined my first atkins wol. My girlfriend brought some cheese cake home and I thought, well ive been on atkins almost a month I deserve just a taste. Well minutes later I had the WHOLE cheese cake gone. I thought I was done for and just went off it. So it would have been better for me just to say nahh, alls that is going to do to me in the long run is hurt me. A couple minutes of pleasure isnt worth a lifetime of pain to me.

[julirama723]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

It's an addiction, and for many of us, these sugary or carby things have BEEN like friends to us. Especially those who are emotional eaters...and I can honestly say that probably 99% of the people on here have done some emotional eating in their life.

I was addicted to carbs. The more I ate the worse I felt, and the more I needed to get my fix the next time. I don't know if I felt a sense of loss, because immediately the positives started to outweigh the negatives. I DO know that I had a major fit of "it's not fair" mentality, after seeing my boyfriend eating the things I could not. How could he eat half a cookie and not finish it? What in the world was wrong with him? I would have eaten that entire cookie, and 16 more. Then I realized there's nothing wrong with him; I'm the one with the problem.

So now instead of using food for comfort or depression or boredom, I use it for good things. I've used a friend analogy before--like it or not, we will have to have a relationship with food. Instead of having an unhealhty friendship that we use and abuse, one that makes us feel sick, one that we are dependent on (CARBS), we need to have a friend who helps us feel healthy and positive, one that gives us support but also does not create dependency (HEALTHY FOODS).

[ValidRouge]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

Julie, good points. I, too, have had the "its not fair" tantrums (Still do sometimes). It's not fair that some people can eat that stuff and not get fat. It's not fair that they can control themselves, it's not fair blah blah blah.

Monroe, I can polish off a whole cheesecake too. I could probably wallow in a vat of chocolate sauce and go crazy in a dunkin donuts. I am only one hand to mouth movement away from being 268 lbs again at any given moment. I have to constantly keep myself in check and not give in. I have to constantly ask myself what is more important to me?

[julirama723]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

I will say that it has gotten easier, but I wonder if it will ever be EASY? I can totally see myself eating this way for the rest of my life, but some days, I still will eyeball a cookie or a brownie with a sigh of longing. One thing I've noticed is that I usually only want these BAD foods when I'm hungry and need to eat. If I'm satisfied or eating my atkins-legal foods, I don't want the bad stuff.

I know there are low-carb substitutions for many of these things, but I don't want to go down that road. The one exception is that cheesecake--I don't consider that frankenfood at all, and it's so rich, I really don't have too hard of a time sticking with my 1/12! I have to be patient before I let myself have something like a fake brownie. I tried to eat atkins-legal peanut butter cookies "in moderation" and that was a flop of an experiment. I'm trying to forget 25 years of "bad" eating and replace it with 6 months of "good" eating. I guess I just want to say from this ramble...don't give up the fight!

[rescueme1975]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

Thanks for responding b/c I thought I was going crazy. I am determined to fix the problem. I have always wanted to run and I look forward to it. Yes, me and carbs had a lovely relationship and the effects were damaging. I'm having to get use to finding new ways to eat. And I'm eating veggies that I would have never bought under normal circumstances. I'm taking it a day at a time trying to be patient with weight loss knowing I'm not going to lose it all in a day.

[julirama723]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

Good for you, rescue! That's all we can do, is take it a day at a time. It takes 21 times of doing something for it to become a habit. Hopefully, we're replacing our bad habits with good ones!

[ValidRouge]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

One of the things that REALLY helped me was seeking out wonderful recipes. If my food looks and tastes BETTER than the junk around me, how can I possibly feel sorry for myself?

If everyone around me is eating mac and cheese made from powder and I'm eating lobster in real butter, how can I feel envious of what they have, yanno?

[The Procrastinatrix]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

I have those feelings too. You're not crazy. errr...ummm...unless we both are and well, there are plenty of people who'd vote me off the sane island. But I digress, my point is you're not alone!

A thought I had was, I've eaten a lifetime's worth of brownies, but I packed them into the first 43 years. If only I'd gone a little easier on them, maybe I could still have them occasionally. But if I want the next 43 years of my life to be happy and healthy, I should keep working on my lifetime supply of whole, delicious low-carb foods.

[sweetgirl2]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

Good thread and replies! I think of the past as me having a love affair with food lol No one's crazy, it's very addictive and a viscious cycle and good for you for realising that it is how you are feeling, because that is a big step. Acknowledging it and posting it too
I was the carb junkie queen and I still find my mind thinking of it sometimes, but then I think of how unhappy & guilty it made me feel in the past when I actually ate all those carbs. There's no comparison anymore to how great it feels to be eating this way.

[pjtmay]

Re: Suffering from deep seated issues about food

I am on week 6 of induction (second time around). I lost 70 lbs the first time and was looking and feeling good. I was stupid and thought that I could go back to my sick addictive eating habits and finally realized after gaining it all back and then some how sick my eating is.

I feel I've had all the brownies, cake, candy, chips, you name it....I've had it all.
I like to think of them as evil foods.

There are a several different 'sweets' you can fix. One of my easy favs is cream cheese, bit of butter, vanilla, spenda. When you need a touch of chocolate you can put in some cocoa. drop in little 'kisses' and freeze.

Anyway.....Hang in there.....You are losing! You are strong.....WE CAN DO IT!

WHO ELSE 'DIETS' AND GETS TO HAVE BACON AND SAUSAGE!!!! LOL