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I want to thank you all for the warm welcome to this board. This is certainly not my first time doing Atkins or coming to these boards. But as I said before in a previous post, what's the alternative?
So it is with great pleasure that I begin this journey today, again. It is a gift that I am still alive and get to try all over again.
I want so very much to succeed once and for all in getting a normal size body. I want to be healthy and live a life full of life. I want to participate in life and not just watch it pass me by. As I get older, the time seems to be just flying by so fast. I keep putting off what I can do today for tomorrow and tomorrow may never come.
I can't change what I did or did not do in my past. I only have today. One meal at a time. If I follow Dr. Atkins directions, the time will pass and I will lose this weight that has somehow served me well in the past but is no longer needed now. Now, the weight of this armour is so very heavy and needs to go. It is no longer serving a purpose other than stealing my joy. Overeating also served a purpose for so very long. But now, it no longer works. What once gave me a feeling of happiness, steals my joy. Food just does not work anymore. Medicating myself with food has brought me to this place of unhappiness. I want to be free from the bondage of food. I have wanted to be free for a long time. I thought I was ready to do the work it was going to take to get that freedom so many times before. But time and time again, I proved that I was not ready, not willing to do the work. I am a liar around the food. I was lying to myself and the only person I really hurt was me. I have yet to figure out the why I hurt myself with food. And quite frankly, the why of it does not matter. I like to eat carbs. Plain and simple. And they are killing me. And if I continue to eat the carbs they will continue to do what they always do. Make me feel sick, tired, remorseful, irritable, depressed and ironically desperate for more.
So it is with great anticipation that I start this day with a clean slate. I am going to open my mind to all the possiblilties that await me if I can just take this way of life one day at a time, and keep putting one foot in front of the other and eat the foods that will change my life. Because there is no doubt in my mind losing 200+ lbs will radically change my life for the better.
Here is just some of the things that I can't wait for....
I can't wait for the day when walking the mall is no longer excruciately painful. I can't wait for the day that I know longer need a wheelie cart in the mall to get around. I can't wait till there are so many inches between me and the steering wheel in my new car. I can't wait until I can walk up a flight of stairs again. I can't wait until I am not so tired and afraid to take a shower. I can't wait until my hips and knees stop screaming at me. I can't wait until I can buy a dress or a pair of pants right off the rack. I can't wait until I no longer need an inhaler to breathe. I can't wait until the sleep apnea goes away. I can't wait for my blood pressure to go down. I can't wait until I can bend and tie my own shoes and dress myself with no help from my husband who I love so very much. I can't wait until I can ride a bike. I can't wait until I can sit between two total strangers anywhere and not take up more space than normal. I can't wait until I can walk without pain! I can't wait until stares stop. I can't wait to stop being such a people pleaser so people will still like me in spite of my size. I can't wait until I can be intimate with my husband again. I can't wait until I am fit enough to take a trip anywhere! I just can't wait until all the things that have plagued me for so long are no longer an issue. I know this journey will not always be easy, but it has to be easier than what I have been doing!
I love you all! Lets get this show on the road!
So it is with great pleasure that I begin this journey today, again. It is a gift that I am still alive and get to try all over again.
I want so very much to succeed once and for all in getting a normal size body. I want to be healthy and live a life full of life. I want to participate in life and not just watch it pass me by. As I get older, the time seems to be just flying by so fast. I keep putting off what I can do today for tomorrow and tomorrow may never come.
I can't change what I did or did not do in my past. I only have today. One meal at a time. If I follow Dr. Atkins directions, the time will pass and I will lose this weight that has somehow served me well in the past but is no longer needed now. Now, the weight of this armour is so very heavy and needs to go. It is no longer serving a purpose other than stealing my joy. Overeating also served a purpose for so very long. But now, it no longer works. What once gave me a feeling of happiness, steals my joy. Food just does not work anymore. Medicating myself with food has brought me to this place of unhappiness. I want to be free from the bondage of food. I have wanted to be free for a long time. I thought I was ready to do the work it was going to take to get that freedom so many times before. But time and time again, I proved that I was not ready, not willing to do the work. I am a liar around the food. I was lying to myself and the only person I really hurt was me. I have yet to figure out the why I hurt myself with food. And quite frankly, the why of it does not matter. I like to eat carbs. Plain and simple. And they are killing me. And if I continue to eat the carbs they will continue to do what they always do. Make me feel sick, tired, remorseful, irritable, depressed and ironically desperate for more.
So it is with great anticipation that I start this day with a clean slate. I am going to open my mind to all the possiblilties that await me if I can just take this way of life one day at a time, and keep putting one foot in front of the other and eat the foods that will change my life. Because there is no doubt in my mind losing 200+ lbs will radically change my life for the better.
Here is just some of the things that I can't wait for....
I can't wait for the day when walking the mall is no longer excruciately painful. I can't wait for the day that I know longer need a wheelie cart in the mall to get around. I can't wait till there are so many inches between me and the steering wheel in my new car. I can't wait until I can walk up a flight of stairs again. I can't wait until I am not so tired and afraid to take a shower. I can't wait until my hips and knees stop screaming at me. I can't wait until I can buy a dress or a pair of pants right off the rack. I can't wait until I no longer need an inhaler to breathe. I can't wait until the sleep apnea goes away. I can't wait for my blood pressure to go down. I can't wait until I can bend and tie my own shoes and dress myself with no help from my husband who I love so very much. I can't wait until I can ride a bike. I can't wait until I can sit between two total strangers anywhere and not take up more space than normal. I can't wait until I can walk without pain! I can't wait until stares stop. I can't wait to stop being such a people pleaser so people will still like me in spite of my size. I can't wait until I can be intimate with my husband again. I can't wait until I am fit enough to take a trip anywhere! I just can't wait until all the things that have plagued me for so long are no longer an issue. I know this journey will not always be easy, but it has to be easier than what I have been doing!
I love you all! Lets get this show on the road!
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