Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins :(

[kibskix]

I've always talked about how atkins isn't bad, and how much I lost last time I was on it (almost 30 lbs in oh...2 or 3 months I think)

My sweety and I have had a LOT of stress in our lives over the last few months, and we've noticed how we've packed on the lbs. He's gained at least 15, and I put on almost all the weight I'd lost. Almost every day he mentions how he wants to lose weight. So I told him I wanted to start Atkins again, and I sent him the link to this sites before/after pics to prove to him how great it works. I thought it would be credible to him since I was on this board over a year and Knew a lot of the wonderful people who've had such success. Guess what the response was:

"Atkins is bad and expensive, I don't have time to go through that site."

I got a little flustered, mostly because ever since i've known him i've told him I lost weight with atkins and how GOOD it is. He -is- the sort of person who's prone to sticking to his opinion no matter how little he actually knows, but you'd think my testimony would matter when he's so adimant (at least in complaining) about how he wants to lose weight, but he seems to think the only thing you have to do is work out. I have a genetic disease which makes my cartilage dissolve so to speak, so I cant go jog on a treadmill for an hour, or lift weights like he wants.

Girls, how in the WORLD do you convince your man that you're not ruining your body by doing atkins? Him teasing me about it is really going to hinder my positiveness. Personally I think the only way to do it is to show him, but its hard to stick with it without positive re-enforcement from those you love!

p.s. i've told him repeatedly atkins is only expensive if you buy the "ATKINS" bars and "ATKINS" whatever, which I have never ever done. I stick to the plan with real foods, not the crap they try to sell you. Its so frustrating to know it goes in one ear and out the other, but he still complains about wanting to lose weight!

[Elizellen]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

Why not turn it into a competition for him.
Say 'sweetie, I agree we should lose some weight - but I cant exercise like you so why not let us each do our own thing. I will eat my Atkins and do what exercise I can, and you eat what you like and work out. Let's see if we can both lose weight together by different methods!'

He can lose weight the 'manly' way of working out and you can do it the 'girly' way of changing your way of eating to a plan you know works for you.

Of course he will have the advantage that men do have in losing weight more quickly than we do but that might make him feel more accepting of your method if he seems to be 'beating' you in the weightloss department.

Of course this will only work for you if you can cope mentally with the possibility of seeming to be the 'loser' in this contest. If you can lose weight yourself you will be the real winner no matter whether he loses faster/more than you do

I know this will give you more work if you are the cook of the house but if you cook the same for both of you (no sugar) but also make him rice/potatoes/pasta while you have cauli-rice/mashed celeriac/zucchini noodles it shouldnt be too much to cope with.

[Elsie150]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

Can you tell him that you respect his opinion and that you would like him to respect yours? That you aren't asking him to do this with you if he doesn't want to but that you do want his support to help you...just as you will give him support at whatever way he chooses. Are you the main cook in the house? What can he say if you are serving a salad with some vegies and a meat at the meals? Are you strong enough to resist the bread or a potatoe if that is what he wants to eat? If you have been eating a lot of junk or eating out a lot then Atkins is no more expensive than that.

It is okay for spouses to disagree and have different opinions however they do need to support and be there for each other and so you may want to pay attention to how he handles this situation because that will be what you have to look forward to in the future. Keep your cool...no yelling. Be strong!

Oh hey...how about ....if you think it is just about working out then you go do that and I will handle the cooking at home...that way we can support each other, honey...

Or..go to your doctor...which you should do anyway...and see what he says. If he is still old school...switch doctors..

So I hope he steps up to the bar for you!!! You can do it...with or without him!!!!

[floydgirl]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

I think he is jealous of your success. Its easier for him to tease you about Atkins, then it would be for him to do something about his weight. He's putting you on the defensive and trying to make you feel bad, which in reality is getting the focus off of him and his shortcomings in the weight loss battle. I speak from experience, my hubby isn't supportive either on my weight loss venture. Through counseling, we now know that he was jealous of my success, and terrified that he was going to lose me. He would tease me to try to make me feel bad about myself.

I'm sorry if this sounds so cold-hearted. These are just my personal experiences.

Regardless, I wish you lots of luck!! Congratulations on your success so far. You always have somebody here to give you support when you need it.

[SugarFreeSheila]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

Girls, how in the WORLD do you convince your man that you're not ruining your body by doing atkins?

He sees your weight loss, correct? If that doesn't convince him, have blood work done so you can brag about your LDL, HDL, & triglyceride levels that have undoubtedly improved in the months/years since you began Atkins. If he's still not convinced, it frankly won't matter - you will have effectively proven your point.

Good luck!

[cleochatra]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

I wanted to really think through my answer before giving you one, because it's really easy to crack a joke or try to say something humorous in light of the situation.

I think he's really insecure about himself and is trying to pressure you to remain where you are because of his comfort level being threatened.

A lot of times, especially in relationships where the husband feels somewhat insecure, there is always the fear that you won't need him anymore if you lose the weight.

Tell him you love him. A lot. When you go out for a run tell him you're doing it so that you can look cute in the little footie pajamas he loves so much.

As you lose weight, tell him you hope he still loves you, even though you're less of a woman than you used to be.

Keep your sweetiepie involved in the process, and make sure he knows he is loved and wanted. That's most important of all.

Of course, if he's just a controlling bugger, just do the noble thing and starch his underpants.

[Lisa M]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

Cleo said it beautifully...including the starching the undershorts.

But in all seriousness.

You dh is going through the same thing my dh tried to do to me. When he started seeing that the pounds and inches were coming off, I was being true to what worked for my body, and seeing the exercise working he started thinking more about his own appearance and giving me more credit in what I have been doing.

Grant it, I had to take him by the ear..litterally, and give him what for, but he's come around to understand, I'm losing weight for my benefit not his.

Grant it he may get the benefits of the extra finese, love, and energy I have...but I get the bonus points of enjoying the real me too.

I wish you all the best and make sure you stick to what you know is right. Atkins can be as expensive and cheap as you make it. I live on a t $250-300 a month budget for groceries and frills such as soap, shampoo, etc for the family...it could be seen as a lot or little, but that all depends on how you cook too.

I use my crockpot to death. I use all the fresh veggies I can get my hands on during the seasons and use the canned/frozen for the winter months. You CAN do Atkins no matter what your budget is, you just have to make the extra effort to say, I will not buy food that I know for a fact that doesn't work in my body.

Best wishes!

~Lisa

[Laurenfra]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

DH said the same thing so I decided ok I am just going to eat healthy, cut out sugar and flour. Eat Atkins and dont even tell him. Make chicken, broccoli and 1 potato for dinner. Most men wont even notice until there is less of you.

[Every1LuvzAngie]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

my b/f makes fun of me for how I eat and eating whoppers and handing him the buns...but who cares...he can make fun of me all he wants while im shedding pounds and handing him my bread... he even knows its bad for him too hes like "imma get huge from all the bread u hand me that u dont eat"...and he also says "that diet is freaky I dont wanna look like a moron for eating a sandwich with no bread, etc etc"

[cmcole]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

If you go with the challenge idea, then make an agreement that neither one of you will berate the other's choice of weight loss plan.

Of course, cooking good, wholesome meals is a good start - who will complain when you give them steak, mushrooms and a nice salad (or whatever your favourite combination)?

[G-Mom]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

"imma get huge from all the bread u hand me that u dont eat"...and he also says "that diet is freaky I dont wanna look like a moron for eating a sandwich with no bread, etc etc"

Heck, if my hubby talked like this, I would make fun of him. "Me no eat u bread, Jane, me Tarzan, me eat me sandwich only." (Scratches armpits)

[BikerGoddess]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

{{kibskix}}

It's really hard when loved ones don't support you. My boyfriend was supportive when I first started, but now he likes to 'treat' me by bringing home ice cream or cheesecake or Doritos. He 'finished' with his diet (and has gained weight back) and I think has assumed I'm 'done' too.

I finally had to sit down with him and explain that I understood he was doing something he thought I would like (since I do like those things) but that overall, it made me happier not gaining weight. I told him that I really appreciated that he was thinking about me. It meant a lot to me that he remembered my favorite foods. But, it would mean more if he would help me maintain my loss.

There was also some insecurity mixed in there. He's worried I'm going to find someone who's easier to get along with, less complicated, less trouble, etc. and I think he sees my fat as being the shield he can't always be there to be.

When we first started dating (shortly after we both started losing weight) we saw each other very infrequently, living 1000 miles apart. In between visits, I suddenly realized I could buy cute clothes again and chopped all my hair off (almost 2 feet of it).

I went to the airport to pick him up wearing tight jeans and a tank top. When he saw me walking over he made that guy face for 'Oh yeah' and turned back around. The look on his face when he realized it was me was priceless. And then he positioned me so I behind him and as hidden as he could get me.

I know he likes the way I look now, but it's obvious he doesn't want any other guy looking, either. I think it's been a real struggle for him to accept that I picked him and I want to be with him, and that maybe some of his not so supportive actions are a manifestation of that.

Also, consider that you might be sending mixed signals. I *say* I don't want to cheat, but will pick up Doritos at the store or suggest an ice cream shop for dinner. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be my conscience every waking moment, nor does he want to be the one who's always on my case telling me to put down the chocolate.

Laura

P.S. One of the best communication tools I've found is saying "That hurt" instead of striking out.

[2big4mysize]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

if he isn't supporting you then he is harming you and you need to sit down wilk Laura said and Dr Phill him. he sould be your biggest cheerleader your rock and your comforter when you fel the need to cheat or get discouraged. Soooooooo sit him down and tell him I need you to be part of my weight loss health support team. Please help me to be strong and follow the principles of my program ( hand him your DANDR here). Please read and review this so you can be that strong supporting fellow I need. Thanks. If he doesn't then you tell him you need support right now with your plan and if he is rooting for the weight gaining team you need to not see him for a while.

If that don't work you need to reevaluate your relationship cause he should be you biggest cheerleader, fan and supporter not your enemy.

[Brook]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

The biggest part of weight loss isn't exercise - although it certainly helps a ton and makes us look hawt - it's about what you eat. When he's working out like a fiend and not getting very far with it, he'll come around.



~Brook

[Isabeau]

Re: Help, Hubby teases me for Atkins

Hang in there. At the end of the day you're doing it for yourself. You're worth it.