Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

[Hudson]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

Are we being a little short sighted here. We all should see that anytime someone offers you something. There is a little more there than just an item. We are taking a small step toward a relationship (or increasing the significance). When they offer the berries in a small way they are saying "Hey you are significant - I think enough of you to offer you some of my prized berries". You respond (in a small way) to accept or reject that offer of friendship. You must respect the friendship side of the offer and either accept or clearly communicate the appreciation for the offer while declining. Turning up your nose and saying "no thanks" can easily be seen as a rejection of not the berries but the friendship.

If you don't believe me ask DR. Phil.

[not2late]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

We still have berries in the market---they're from California.

[Rubysugar]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

Are we being a little short sighted here. We all should see that anytime someone offers you something. There is a little more there than just an item. We are taking a small step toward a relationship (or increasing the significance). When they offer the berries in a small way they are saying "Hey you are significant - I think enough of you to offer you some of my prized berries". You respond (in a small way) to accept or reject that offer of friendship. You must respect the friendship side of the offer and either accept or clearly communicate the appreciation for the offer while declining. Turning up your nose and saying "no thanks" can easily be seen as a rejection of not the berries but the friendship.

If you don't believe me ask DR. Phil.

Yeah, it could be short sided. But randomly walking in and offering everyone berries and then getting bent if they are not accepted is more needy than I personally would want to deal with. I work at work, not cater to people's personal issues... unless being paid to do just that. And if you start doing things just to make that person "happy" it could snowball into larger issues (not to mention take away from my "happiness"). I guess IMO I would rather her be miffed and eventually get over it on her own, than be her emotional babysitter. But I was also the person who would leave drunk adults to their own devices rather than follow them around and play pick up when thay acted like a$$es. I expect adults to be just that, adults. I mean really, if that girl TRULY (which jcap said you couldn't tell with her) got all incensed over someone not eating a berry, do you really think you are qualified to give that much mental help? I'd rather wash my hands of it. Guess that's why I am so cold and alone... LOL And is it not rude of her to not consider that JCap might hold Strawberries holy and would be offended to have to eat one? What about the strawberries feelings? I mean, where do we draw the line? LOL

[dreamof145]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

I don't know why people associate food with being liked...but it seems they do that a lot. Sounds like you were polite and declined in a good way so not to offend them. But, you did the right thing for you and thats what is important.

[changing]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

I had something similar happen to me last week at school with some non-sugar-free coughdrops. A good friend of mine offered them to me (because I was hacking my head off), and I waved them away. She looked kind of hurt but seemed to forget about it later. I felt bad saying no, though. I'm the kind of person that hates to say no to people.

That has to be the hardest part of controlling my eating for me, is saying no to some people.

[cathyjobob]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

I remember my grandma crying at dinner once because I didn't want to eat her stupid ham. I could understand grandma crying if I said "Hey granny, I hate you", but because I refused to eat her dead pig? Ummmm...whatever

LMAO! Ms. Phode, you really have a way of putting things!

What if you were allergic to strawberries? It would have been funny if you whipped out a cigarette and said, "no thanks, but would you like a smoke?", then acted offended if she refused. Kind of reminiscent of that show "The Office". Smoking, eating, drinking, they are all very social things, who knows why.

[Lyssie]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

Maybe she switched the berries and offered you them because she actually thought you could eat them and she was doing something good by offering you those instead of cookies or something like that and took the rejection as a failure.

[Mothercooter]

Re: Why do people get offended when you say "no thanks"?!

Glad I havent encountered this so far. So far a simple friendly "no thanks" has been enough. I guess if it were something like, someone had baked a homemade pie cake, whatever and was wanting me to taste Id have to go a step or two further though and just tell them I cant have sugar (I have used that one before though) A girl at my church was going on and on about her dessert and wanted us to try it and I just told her I couldnt have sugar, she asked if I was diabetic and I said no not exactly diabetic, my body just doesnt handle sugar very well, it makes me ill. She completely understood.

Cant imagine someone still trying to force something if they think it will make you sick. I wasnt lying it really does. Yet another reason I went on atkins again, the sugar was making me ill everytime i had large doses like cakes or pies. Id get all foggy headed and forgetful and almost dizzy and a horrible headache!