I am so emotional, just need to vent

[iamran]

Hi! It's just about that TOM and I am so emotional right now. Like a dumb *** I had a carb filled weekend but i got right back on track yesterday. Maybe that has something to do with my emotions. I don't know.

I have not always been a huge woman. I used to be somewhat attractive. Now when I look in the mirror I see this fat face and big double chin. I hate it. It makes me really self consious. I am so discusted with myself I don't even know how my husband can find me attractive. He tells me that looks does not matter but i know they do. I just want to be that some what attractive girl that he met 13 years ago, fell inlove with and married.

My obesity has me running when I see people from my past that knew me as a smaller person. I do not want them to see me this way. I am so ashamed and embarassed. How did I let myself become this person that I am?

No matter what I have to follow DANDR. For the past 3 weeks I have had energy and felt better. My step dad even told me that I looked smaller. THe weight loss has only been 8 lbs but that is 8 lbs in my past. I don't care how long it takes I will become the size and person that I desire with DANDR and your help.

Thanks everyone for listening to me rant. I really have no one to talk to about this and I appreciate you listening to me with my little pitty party. Now off to eat my lunch. I made some stuffed peppers that I found on Linda's website!

[SunnySmile501]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

A very short pity party is helpful most of the time. Just don't let it go on for too long. Put your thoughts in writing. Jot down your feelings about yourself for about 10 minutes, then go back and write what you need to do to change a negative into a positive. If a negative can't be changed in any way, then accept it and move on. If a negative can be changed, then do what it takes to overcome the negative. Replace that behavior with a positive behavior.

Learn to love yourself just the way you are. You, as a person, are not governed by what your body looks like on the outside.
work on the inside first, then work on improving the outside.

You really need to overcome these kinds of negative feelings about yourself. I used to be somewhat attractive. Now when I look in the mirror I see this fat face and big double chin. I hate it. It makes me really self consious. I am so discusted with myself I don't even know how my husband can find me attractive. He tells me that looks does not matter but i know they do. I just want to be that some what attractive girl that he met 13 years ago, fell inlove with and married.

My obesity has me running when I see people from my past that knew me as a smaller person. I do not want them to see me this way. I am so ashamed and embarassed. How did I let myself become this person that I am?


Yes, it would probably be better for your marriage if you were at a healthy weight, but that's for more reasons than beauty. You don't even give yourself full credit for being attractive 13 years ago, but if you were not, hubby wouldn't have been attracted to you in the first place. How would you feel if he only loved you for your beauty and you were in an accident and lost your good looks, so he stopped loving you?

I want you to sit down and find five things that you like about yourself today. Stop beating yourself up and think about the things that make you a nice person to be around. If you had a blind friend that could not see what you look like, what would that person say that they like about you? (I use this for a gage all the time. I have a very handsome blind friend that is married to what would be considered a physically ugly wife. She is short and dumpy and none of her features would be considered pretty, except for her smile. Her personality, on the other hand, is beautiful. They have the most loving and wonderful relationship. You can just feel the love between them and between them and their children).

Sunny!

[MommaRuthie]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

I'm glad that you got back on track. Please remember that you are worth it! You are worth looking the best you can and feeling the best you can! I too have wicked mood swings during TOM (I feel so sorry for that guy...LOL) I try to keep some special things on hand or just go for lots of walks. I only have porkrinds during this time and i have alot of sour cream with them... seems to work and it takes away anyother cravings.

Just remember to stay positive and don't worry about what other may or may not think. You are the most important person in the world to you! Take care!

[Desertthorn]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

Welcome Iamran, Glad you found us and joined. We can do this together.

[iamran]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

Thanks for the replies!

SunnySmile501- here are my 5 things you asked for.
1) I am an extremely caring person.
2) I am nice.
3) I have a good sense of humor.
4) I've always been the go to girl. When in need of help or a listening ear people tend to come to me.
5) I am a good cook.

MommaRuthie- you are so right! I am worth it! I can't wait till warmer weather to get out and actually take a walk. Plus the pork rinds and sour cream sounds good.

Desertthorn - yes, we can do this together and we will get it done!

Thanks again for listening to me vent and today is a better day! No matter what, I am worth it and there isn't anyone who can get in my way but me! I'm a force to be reckoned with, I will stay out of my own way!

For the first time in my adult life I feel that I can actually do this. I am going to do this! I am really going to do this! (lose the weight that is bogging me down.) I'm so excited!

[espositox3]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

I know how you feel. Ive been very emotional the last two days(i have depression.) and for me, if i see an ugly picture of myself or if i look extra puffy i just feel like giving up. that makes no sense,but i guess im just thinking "hey,if im going to be ugly and fat,i want to be ugly and fat and eating delicious food." my mind gets the best of me. anyway,im here for support. i am extremely down on myself as well and cant imagine how my hubby would find me attractive either. its hard but i know if we stick to it we will feel so much better. it will be a huge weight off of my shoulder--literally.

[SunnySmile501]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

Thanks for the replies!

SunnySmile501- here are my 5 things you asked for.
1) I am an extremely caring person.
2) I am nice.
3) I have a good sense of humor.
4) I've always been the go to girl. When in need of help or a listening ear people tend to come to me.
5) I am a good cook.

MommaRuthie- you are so right! I am worth it! I can't wait till warmer weather to get out and actually take a walk. Plus the pork rinds and sour cream sounds good.

Desertthorn - yes, we can do this together and we will get it done!

Thanks again for listening to me vent and today is a better day! No matter what, I am worth it and there isn't anyone who can get in my way but me! I'm a force to be reckoned with, I will stay out of my own way!

For the first time in my adult life I feel that I can actually do this. I am going to do this! I am really going to do this! (lose the weight that is bogging me down.) I'm so excited!

Five awesome attributes! If I had to pick as a friend a person with the five attributes you listed and a thin runway model and movie star, you would win hands down!

I believe you when you say: I'm a force to be reckoned with, I will stay out of my own way! You go girl!
Sunny!

[SunnySmile501]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

I know how you feel. Ive been very emotional the last two days(i have depression.) and for me, if i see an ugly picture of myself or if i look extra puffy i just feel like giving up. that makes no sense,but i guess im just thinking "hey,if im going to be ugly and fat,i want to be ugly and fat and eating delicious food." my mind gets the best of me. anyway,im here for support. i am extremely down on myself as well and cant imagine how my hubby would find me attractive either. its hard but i know if we stick to it we will feel so much better. it will be a huge weight off of my shoulder--literally.

Refer back to my first post I wrote to iamran--pretend I wrote it to you. It's hard work to give up negative thoughts and depression, but so worth it. One of my favorite quotes is: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." When you open your eyes in the morning, you have to make the choice to be sad or to be happy. Both take hard work. If I review what I have going for me and what I have going against me, against me comes out ahead, but I make the decision to be happy anyway.

Sunny!

[iamran]

Re: I am so emotional, just need to vent

SunnySmile501 You are so nice! I feel like I am a little chick and you are the momma chicken and you have taken me under your wing! Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.

espositox3 Let's keep on keeping on. With our determination, this board and support from people like SunnySmile501 we will win this battle! Please no matter how bad it may seem, don't give up! No matter how much you think you will want carby food, don't eat it. What good will it do us to have to keep starting over? I want to look back 25 weeks from now and say hey I'm on rung(you choose which rung) I don't want to say well this is my 25th try. We just have to stick together for support and git er done. (Sorry, just a fan of Larry the Cable Guy. I'm a country gal.)