Climbing back on board

[SMKelly]

Hi all,

I've been away a few weeks, because I've fallen off for a few weeks. This was my first Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year without my Dad, who passed in early fall from Alzheimers.

And all the while, I was strong for my mom and thinking I was OK.

Well, the holidays were so hard. And I totally fell off the boat. I can still fit into my "skinny" jeans but I'm sure I'm up 10-15 lbs.

There were many triggers that set me off, and I've identified them, but my grieving has seemingly just begun for him, as I'm dreaming about him 3-4 times a week now. My mom is, on the other hand, dreamless and moving on with her life.

I've been so emotional since Christmas that there have been days when I can't even get out of bed but have to drag myself to work anyway.

Has anyone else experienced this? I know it's a dumb question. I feel like the grief will never end.

[jmclean]

Re: Climbing back on board

Im sorry to hear about your loss. Although its unfortunate that you went off during christmas, you have identified your triggers which is essential and know that everyone deals with stress in their own way.

All I can say is that for every day that you are sticking to this diet, you will be lighter, healthier and more energetic. Stress will naturally decrease as you lose weight - you will get better quality sleeps, and as you know your entire quality of life will increase.

I have not gone through what you must be going through with respect to grieving, however I can say that this diet can do nothing but substantially help you, your quality of life and your stress levels. You always have your support group in this forum

Keep your chin up, start being dedicated towards this diet today and the results will come soon!

- Jimmy

[SMKelly]

Re: Climbing back on board

Jimmy,

Thank you for your kind words. I was even a little fearful to post because there are a few members who are pretty extreme; I know I shouldn't care what people think, but old habits die hard.

I am already feeling better after my regular egg and broccoli omelet. Your support is much appreciated. I hope to pay it forward.

[liv]

Re: Climbing back on board

Welcome back. It is nice to see you here again.
Good to hear that you are back on. That is all it is about.
It is hard to lose someone close but grief will move out and memories will move in.

[EverLosing]

Re: Climbing back on board

Wow. I totally identify with your post!

First off, glad you're back!! Welcome back to and this WOL!! Jump back in, don't tiptoe!!

Secondly, one of the lines that hit me the hardest was the part where you're drowning in grief and your mother is ready to move on. Yep, been there. It's a little like salt on your wounds, isn't it? Just know, you're their child. They were the ones in the marriage. She likely knows many more sides of your father than you did. She certainly knew him longer and they had a very different relationship between the two of them than you had with him. Losing a father I think, is sometimes tougher than losing a spouse. EVERYone responds so differently to grief. As time goes on, the responses of others that are different than your own, will nag at you less and less.

I lost my father in 2002 at the age of 27. Massive brain tumor. We had 12 weeks exactly to say goodbye. Mixed in with the goodbyes were paralysis, his inability to eat, slow kidney failure, watching him waste away, a horrible tornado that damaged his house and property, fruitless efforts to save to save his life....begging God, bargaining with God, praying to God and feeling unanswered. So, yes, there are others here who know what you're feeling. Yes, it does get better. It's never again the way it was but slowly, the pain subsides a bit.

Pay attention to your dreams. Is he telling you anything in them? I truly believe our departed loved ones aren't as departed as most of us are taught. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying his soul is here but I'm certain he doesn't want you basking in grief. He doesn't want you to live less of your own life to grieve his lost life. He's not really gone. He's alive somewhere else. Pay attention to your dreams. Journal about them....here or on paper. Trust me, you'll be glad you did later on.

So, hang on. Strive every day to get up, get moving and take care of yourself. That's exactly what he would want for you.

[Shrew2u]

Re: Climbing back on board



There are a number of posters on the Board who have expressed that they are dealing with some pretty tough issues - and I'll say to you what I said to them. Make sure you take care of yourself and your needs, too, because those are just as important as anything else going on around you. And don't you waste a moment beating yourself up over what's over and done; we do the best we can, then we move forward, a little stronger and a little wiser than before.

[pagliaccia]

Re: Climbing back on board

I personally understand completely when someone falls off the wagon during such a difficult time as you've had. I'm proud of you for getting back up, though, and now you've learned so much from the whole experience! My heart goes out to you for having to go through the holidays dealing with a loss.

[Whatsername]

Re: Climbing back on board

Welcome back. So sorry for everything you have been going through. That is tough. You are doing good by getting yourself back here. I hope it gives you strength, in many ways.

Look forward to seeing your progress. We are here for you!

Hugs, Jane

[sham]

Re: Climbing back on board

Sorry about your loss Im glad your back and wish you well on your restart.