Journal Gal's Starting Over!

[maribelle]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Well...I did good on Sunday. My only bad was 1/4 apple with a chunk of cheese. Then I did really good all day yesterday up until my regular danger zone of 7:00. I made this wonderful rhubarb, sour cream, vanilla cake for a family get together last night...and they CANCELLED. So I was stuck with this wonderful cake instead of everyone else eating it. So...I blew it with one peice...then two...then I felt what the HE** and had two bowls of sugar laden cereal! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME????? Last year I had no problem saying no to anything. This year, I can't seem to stay on this diet for more than 8 or 9 days. My BP is back up, and last night after that sugar, I felt SO sick. My heart went crazy, I felt sweaty and sick as a dog. And I'm back up to 314. You would think that would be enough to stop me. I guess a new challenge is in order, and maybe I should humbly back out? Since I'm useless as a moral raiser. I don't know. I'm feeling a little lost right now. I know Atkins is the only diet that works for me...and yet I'm not feeling competent at sticking to it anymore. I need to focus my energy on just getting back to induction and really sticking to it for two weeks. Maybe I can ask my family to give up fruit for a couple weeks until I get back on track. That is my main downfall right now. And I should break the habit of watching "StarGate SG1" with my DH everynight, and go to bed before the sweet cravings hit again.
Now all I need to do is find the strength within somewhere and focus it like I'm supposed to.

[knicknack]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Hmmm... I wonder if it's not the Return of TOM that's hitting you. Hormones can play nasty nasty tricks on a girl. It does sound like you need to get rid of temptation for a bit though - I bet they'd be okay with it for a couple of weeks.

Is there anything else going on that is stressful? Maybe you need to combat the sweet cravings with something legal. I know it doesn't work really but I am willing to bet what you're going through is more psychological than physical (although eating apples will help make it physical!), so maybe you can fool your mind into accepting cheese (or whatever) as a balm for the soul?

Don't back out mari! It woudln't be a challenge if it was easy for everyone, right?

There's a 2 week strict induction challenge in STAC, maybe you could join that too? I did, although it will be quite impossible to stick to strict induction when I'm travelling, but that's an extenuating circumstance anyway. I'll do the best I can!

[DebbietheHugBug]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Awwww Mari! I hate to see you give up! Have you tried taking L-Glutamine? It really does stop the cravings for sweets. They aren't expensive. If you get the 500 mg ones and take 4 a day. They really do work! Visit us on the Second Time Around Forum. There are some GREAT recipes for legal sweet treats that are just awesome!! Everyone there is so supportive, too.


I agree that it might be a good idea to get temptation out of your house for awhile. I'm sure your family will understand. Afterall, this is YOUR HEALTH at stake!!

Hang in there! You have done so well!!

[moonwish]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

mari, i'm at your boat! i actually thought i'm the only one having such problems second time around. i don't know how to deal with it tho. i have no plan and it's not a good plan lol.
let me know if you ever find out how to do it properly in a long howl!

[DebbietheHugBug]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

It's all in mind and attitude. You have to want this bad enough to make the effort. I'll give some examples.


I'm allergic to chocolate (I know, I have no reason to live!) but there are other things out there that I love. Last night, our roommate brought home a cake that his work made for him. It was a white cake w/white frosting and fun stuff all over it. Did I want some? In the WORST WAY!!! Did I have some? NO!!! Why not? Because I have set a goal and I'm sticking to it. I will be 50 next July and I want to be at goal, or at least damn close to it! How am I going to get there? Not by eating cake!!

I have an attitude that goes like this:

I don't eat chocolate because it makes me sick
I don't eat sugar because it makes me fat

There are so many good recipes on these boards that will tackle any craving you could have. You just have to plan ahead and make some so that when the craving hits, there is something legal to satisfy it with.

You have to make the committment and stick to it!! All the challenges are there just for that reason. To keep you accountable, honest and on program. You're not making the committment to us, you have to make the committment to yourself. It is YOUR health, YOUR weight, YOUR self-image. I DO care if you succeed or fail. You all have become my virtual family and I want my family healthy.

So.... set a date to start the program. Set a date (within reason) that you want to be at goal. Prepare and plan. Come to the boards for support, advice and encouragement. Get the "Winning Attitude"!!

[knicknack]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Debbie you are SOOOOOOOO right about the planning ahead. It is when I don't plan ahead that I fall off the wagon. I find that the key is to have everything ready and then eat when I'm hungry. Then usually I do'nt get cravings. It's when I do'nt plan ahead (there's nothing in the house or it's not cooked yet and I'm too tired), or when I'm not in control of the situation (out of town, etc...) that I run into serious trouble.

You can plan for situations not in your control though. I just eat a gigantic meal before I go to that party or brunch or dinner at someone's house. That way even if there is one thing I can eat, I won't get hungry. Or you can tell people to make sure there's one friendly dish, or if all else fails, bring your own. When you're travelling it's a bit harder since there's really not a lot you can do when your chicken caesar salad comes breaded. (GRRRR)

but yeah.. planning ahead. Totally. Plan meals, plan snacks. I make big things of ground lamb mixed with green beans - both for lunch and to snack on. Same with the quiche - breakfast and snack if i'm in a pinch.

Right now i'm having a hard time because (of course) I'm not planning ahead. So, I started yesterday! i've got a whole lot of lamb made. no quiche since I leave town thursday morning. I'm making chicken strips later tonight too. I have salmon for dinner. I can do this right?

[DebbietheHugBug]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Knicknack, you certainly can! I know when you're travelling, some things are not within your control. All you can do is your best. Everywhere you go, you take the power of knowledge to get you through.


Someone on one of the threads said (darned if I can remember now) that the attitude she has adopted is instead of saying "can't" have this or that, she says "don't". Now I don't say that "I can't have cake", I say "I don't eat cake or sugar anymore".

Some restaurants don't have a lot of stuff that is Atkins friendly and salads all the time do get old. Just don't let that so-called "cheat" cause you to fall off completely. Control what you can control and don't dwell on what you can't.

We CAN ALL DO THIS!

[tickletussler]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Hey Girls...
Sorry to put a dampener on things, but I'm with Mari... my attention span on this diet is just over a week and getting shorter each time. I don't know why, but I don't have the same oomph like I did when I first started. I keep restarting Atkins, going back into ketosis, once I get it right for at least 5 days, it's like my brain tells me I'm bored with this whole WOL and it screws up - small or big, it does it. I'm not making excuses for myself, but looking like I'm yo-yoing with Atkins, yo-yoing between 140 to 150lbs, and I'm not doing my inches any favours either - my waist has varied 31.5 inches to 33.5 inches, and we're not talking about bloating here. I can feel my skin/fat getting looser/flabbier each time I put on. I don't even want to know what it's doing to my body fat ratio with all this yo-yoing. MY WHR (waist-hip-ratio) is telling me I am at risk and I can't get this fat off my middle.

I'm getting really discouraged. I can't seem to regain the single-minded steadfastness I had when I started Atkins in Jan. Ok, sure I don't eat as much junk as I used to, but I still do when I give in. When I read Marion's bit about "one piece, then 2, then what the ****", I almost think I was the one who just said that. I can relate it to my perfectionism personality - all or nothing. That's why I can did Atkins perfectly the first 2 months, no mistakes, steady loss, and once I stuffed up, I lasted a month before I fell off again, then it was 3 weeks, then it was 2, then I decided to go on Maintenance for a month to try and have some time-out, recoup, whatever, and ever since I made up my mind to restart, I last a week each time before I stuff up. It's like my brain is thinking "I am either doing this perfectly with no mistakes and great results" or "I've eaten one bit of junk so what's the difference between 1 or 10 because I'm heading in that direction anyway, so why not stuff up properly?"

I don't know what to do. I can ask all of you for support, to give me smacks, to lecture me when I stuff up, to hug me back into trying again, to drown me in sympathy, whatever, but I just don't know what to do. It's like I'm depressed or something, but over the issue of eating and this WOL. Don't get me wrong, I love Atkins, no matter what points I pick at, I still think the concept is sound, that it is the best WOE AND the most enjoyable "diet". But it's like I read these posts, read your posts when you tell each other "It's all in mind and attitude. You have to want this bad enough to make the effort.", to "Control what you can control and don't dwell on what you can't." to plan ahead, to make the effort, to "make the committment and stick to it", to blame it on hormones, TOM, and I read all these posts to give myself a good kick up the butt, but it seems harder and harder, and I have to literally drag myself off the floor to climb back onto the wagon, and I think OMG, not again, I've gotta do this, get into ketosis, get back into the "habit" of being on Atkins WOE, to start enjoying it again so it becomes a breeze, but it's just so hard. I've even tried thinking about "your arteries will be filled with fat" or "you'll end up with diabetes like your family" or "you won't be able to fit into those new swimming cozzies you've bought for summer", and I just fall flat instead of feeling motivated.

I feel soooooo lost right now, and I can't seem to find Marion either in this LostLand. I feel so bored with every food I eat, no matter how interesting or creative I try to be.

Please, I need help.

[knicknack]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

*hug* tickle, it really is hard sometimes isn't it?

have you been exercising? That helps me stay on the diet a lot because I do'nt seem to crave things as much when I exercise.

I guess what helps me stay on is that i'm so damned PROUD of myself when I stay on. I also post obsessively in STAC and fitday to keep myself going. I like being able to look at fitday and say wow, look what i did! So, I post in fitday after every meal (no joke) and every exercise. I post in this thread, the strict induction threads, my journal, and i encourage everyone else. I think giving other people support helps a ton - it just keeps my brain on track if that makes any sense?

I've noticed that two things happen: sometimes i can stop thinking about it and just keep going, and other times I have to really be active here and on fitday to keep myeslf in line. I do'nt know what the difference is but right now with all my struggles I'm in the active phase.

you know we're all here to help.

Maybe you should write down all the reasons to lose the weight. Then write down all the things that helped you stay on it the first time. If you can find that mental state again maybe it'll help?

[maribelle]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

OK...I'm here. I'm 3/4 of the way through a day, with a nice induction friendly dinner already cooked, and no sweet cravings. But just in case they hit, I bought a Russel Stover 1 g. carb candy bar to get me through it. This is only for today, since I've sugared up for three or four days, and the come down is going to hit at some point.

I think the problem for Ari and I is that we've been doing this for over a year now. It does get harder for the long term. Its like...I've been doing this forever, and I'm still at this point. I also know that when I hit a new low, and I can see the differance in my body, its like I get cocky and over confident, and thats when I crash. Now my face is looking puffy, my ankles are puffy, I'm a walking gas bomb (deadly at that!) and felt pretty gross up till I got back on track today. I think the cheat is out of me for now.

Ari..I don't know what to say to help, other then I'm in the same boat. I'm just going to take it one day at a time. I'm going to plan and exercise like Knick says, and reaffirm my will to lose this weight like Debbie says, and hope you and Moonwish refind your diet wings as well. Despite the horrible effect on my body, I am glad this happened. It was high time I relearn the value of humility, and start taking it as seriously as I used to.

Congrats, Debbie and Knick for your awesome dedication, and thank you for doing your best to pick those of us struggling back up out of the dirt. As for the rest of us...WE CAN DO THIS TOO! Lets put our wills together and hold each other up. I promise to come here more often, especially when tempted to fall. Hope to be as big a help as Knick and Deb are being.

, Marion

[moonwish]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Hey gals!
You know, I'm thinking of a new challenge. I really do need one, but now I feel like total failing as I've not complished my 2 weeks and I don't know if I ever can.
So that's what I'm thinking: What if we do a so-called "staying-on" challenge for about a month. We could count days of "staying on diet". Like I eat ok today, but I cheat a bit tomorrow, it makes it total 1 days "on" for me. We could also have same counting for drinking water (great downfall for me) and/or exercise. And so we could see after say 30 days, how many days did we stay "on" for foods, water, exercise. Everyone could keep count of her own totals, so no-one needs to do any extra-job. What do ya say? Do I make any sense here? For me I think it would be easier and still keeps me countable so to say.
And so we'll have 3 winner, too: one for food, one for water, one for exercising

By the way, I was really good today: so far. Had schrimp-salad for breakfast, ham and tomatoes for lunch, chicken for dinner and a 0-carbs tex-mex sausage as a snack. Water - 2 litres and counting, exercise: 2.45 hours biking.

[DebbietheHugBug]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Hi All


Checking in. That's a great idea Moon. Any challenge would be a good thing I think.

Reading through the posts yesterday, I understood what you all were saying and feeling. Part of my "pep talk" was for me, too. The only cheat I have had since starting over last Monday (15th) is wine.

It is hard to stay motivated when you stay with the program but aren't seeing results. I started on the 15th at 149 and today am only down to 144. I've been working out what little I can and drinking a gallon a day of water. It is discouraging. I'll take my measurements on Sat. morning and see if I'm at least losing inches. My clothes don't feel any different.

How are you feeling today Mari? Ari? I hope all is going well. What kind of challenge would it take for everyone to stay on this WOL for 2 weeks? Or even 1 week? You all have come so far and have lost so much weight so far! I really hate seeing you give it up now. Have you thought about doing just a low carb non-Atkins? I have lurked on the Low Carb forum and there is some interesting stuff. Feel free to come over to the Second Time Around forum. WONDERFUL people there!

Well, back to work (ugh). You all have a great day!

[knicknack]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

Hi folks!

The scale is moving the wrong way! I'm retaining water in a big big big way, I guess. In all the wrong places (although guys probably disagree!).

I've been good for 3 days now. Well, except for a glass of wine. But, i'm frustrated that it hasn't started moving down either. Yesterday I had lamb and green beans, and sausage and cheese for snack, and salmon with spinach for dinner. And I was UP a pound today. I just don't get it. *sigh*

anyway, i'm going to go wander around chicago and get my exercise that way - Let me know if the moonwish challenge happens - I'll participate although I'm still trying to just stay the course, so to speak.

[tickletussler]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

I am SO not going well, so please, nobody ask why or how. I'm back up to 147 pounds and don't deserve your sympathy. I know I am impatient, the scales don't seem to move when I am "being good" on Atkins, and I get discouraged, I fall off, I try again, I fall off again. I know it is no excuse because all of us keep trying, keep going regardless, while I pathetically fall in a big heap. I am doing everything I can possibly do wrong - eating 3,000 cals, carbs at 150g, white foods, refined foods, the dreaded sugar, overeating, actually all the things I didn't do to such an extreme BEFORE I started Atkins, it's like I'm trying to suck myself into a black hole or something. The only good thing I'm still doing is walking to and from work, and a 30min walk at lunch, that's walking at approx 4mph for 2 hours per day all up, plus an hour or so of yoga.

KK, I did try to sit down and write all the reasons for trying to lose weight. My "pros" column looked a bit bare - the only reasons I could come up with came from my fiance (HIS reasons). My "cons" list had one item from me, and that didn't help my cause. It said "I AM happy being the size I am because I LOVE food, I LOVE eating but I'm doing Atkins because it makes my fiance happy". So my mental state is up sh** creek without a paddle.

As I can't seem to contribute anything positive to the boards or this challenge at the moment, I'd like to ask to be excused if I do not contribute as much? I am trying to do what Marion suggested which was to take one day at a time, see how I feel each morning, take each meal as it comes because my head is everywhere, there's no food police at my mouth, and my body is blah, trying to cope with the effects of no food police. I also know it's not just physically about eating, it's a psychological thing for me. I had an ED years ago, and I can see symptoms of it now. I can see that I am using food to sort out my emotions and my head at the moment and is masking some underlying problems.

So if I don't say much, please know that I AM still following the rest of you through this new challenge of yours. I need to sort myself out first and I will try and quietly follow you through. But for now I need to work out a WOE that can get me back on track. I have been hanging out more at the lowcarb boards than here, and I am still ploughing through the South Beach book, trying to work out what will make me stick to lowcarb eating and get myself remotivated again. I just don't want to let you or this challenge down, but I can see everyone else is going well and keep it up

[knicknack]

Re: Journal Gal's Starting Over!

tickle you're losing weight for your fiance? Hrmmmmmm.

well no wonder you're finding it hard!!! you shouldn't need to lose weight for him, you should lose it for YOU! And if you don't dislike the way you look/are then there's really no reason for you to be beating yourself up about this.

It totally sounds like a mental block to me - when i am dieting when I do'nt wnat to diet I find myself eating things I NEVER EVER EVER normally eat. That sounds like what you're doing.