Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

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  • ddog27
    ADBB Admirer
    • Dec 26, 2005
    • 95

    #1

    Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

    Just got this in my email! Very funny! Good advice for us guys!


    Subject:* Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

    Any Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
    man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his
    own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
    license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
    SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
    SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: What did I do wrong?
    SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? [Can I go to QT and get you
    a large Dr. Pepper with Crushed ice honey?]
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What did you do all day
    SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

    _13 Things PMS Stands For:_


    1. Pass My Shotgun
    2. Psychotic Mood Shift
    3. Perpetual Munching Spree
    4. Puffy Mid-Section
    5. People Make me Sick
    6. Provide Me with Sweets
    7. Pardon My Sobbing
    8. Pimples May Surface
    9. Pass My Sweatpants
    10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
    11. Plainly; Men Suck
    12. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
    13. Potential Murder Suspect

    Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
    swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
    monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
    a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
    he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.


























  • Moochiecat
    Moderator Emeritus
    • Mar 13, 2004
    • 3832

    #2
    Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

    LOVE the mood ring thing.....lmaoooo
    I just sent this to my poor bf...
    F 42 5' 194/142.5/125 My Progress


    Comment

    • MotherOfGizmo
      • Apr 01, 2004
      • 13388

      #3
      Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

      LOL, mood rings! I used to have a mood ring! Do they still make those things? I bet you have to go to a hippy store to get one!


      5'4"
      45 yrs (F) a.k.a. "Butterbean"
      Start date 5/18/2003
      197/163.5/130

      Comment

      • Miss Phode
        ADBB Admiral
        • Jul 29, 2004
        • 6265

        #4
        Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

        What else do they sell at Hippy Stores MOG? hmm??

        Comment

        • jimmie 48
          MODERATOR
          • Jul 14, 2004
          • 36082

          #5
          Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

          THANK YOU, DOG
          THANK YOU
          THANK YOU

          now pass me the $50, tell me i look smashing AND pass the chocolate!
          JIMMIE JOHNSON ~ NASCAR SPRINT CUP CHAMPION 2006-2009
          4th STRAIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

          JUST BECAUSE IT'S LEGAL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN EAT 3 HELPINGS OF IT. REMEMBER PORTION CONTROL

          What I Just Earned..

          Current Challenges.....

          Comment

          • hey_nelson
            ADBB Admiral
            • Mar 01, 2005
            • 2886

            #6
            Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

            This is so funny, I copied it and sent it to my married friends.
            Lord, my dream is to lose this weight and to be healthier.

            Patty female . 46yrs
            SW 350
            Small Goal. 325
            Main Goal 145

            Comment

            • ladyinred
              ADBB Admiral
              • Sep 19, 2005
              • 4187

              #7
              Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

              Har!!! That's a good one. I also think chocolate should be readily available at the office. Like you go in the supply cupboard to get a pen, some post-its and, oh yeah, a big chunk o'chocolate. Oh wait, I'm supposed to be low-carbing. Nevermind......
              Female, 46yrs, 5'3"

              Restarted Atkins 09/19/05
              Re-restarted Atkins 03/12/07

              SW198.5/CW215/GW150







              Slug Free 6WEC#21 & 22 & 23

              "Superhuman willpower is not required to do Atkins, only the wisdom to put yourself into a position where you won't need it."

              Comment

              • kkat55
                ADBB Admiral
                • Oct 12, 2003
                • 5250

                #8
                Re: Hormone Hostage Survival Tips

                I loved it!
                ~Kat
                F, 45, 5'7"



                A year from now you'll wish you had started today

                Comment

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