I took my camera with me today when I went on my walk. I thought it would help me get my creative juices going and maybe I could take some pictures that I could use in future paintings and drawings. Well, it was such a beautiful day and I had so much fun and felt soooo good that I walked an extra mile and came home with all kinds of leaves and plant matter to use in potential still life settings to paint and a ton of pictures in my camera. All the while, I didn't think about my weight, the scale from h**l, or even the fact that I was technically exercising. The sun was shining on my face and I was having a ball. So I realized this and thought " Yeah, this is how it should be." Being in the moment enjoying myself, playing actually. That is normal, healthy behavior. Not hopping on the scale every morning, not worrying about my weight, hating that I let myself become so fat, and Lord, will I really be able to become slim oneday? I just realized how my thoughts had been running around my head like rats in a maze that they knew by heart. And worse, I had been doing this for decades. I feel like a spell has been broken with these musings in the sunshine and know I'm going to be all right and the weight will come off and in the meantime ...I'm going to start living!