Like so many people on this board I spent most of my life doing for others, being that frustrated person saying yes to everything and then being surprised when people took advantage.

It took many years of personal work, loads of self-help books, and several empowering movies for me to get out of the habit but I think the most important thing was developing my Personal Mantra. I say this mantra every time I feel like people are asking me to do something I don't want to, when things aren't working out the way I want, and when I find myself making the wrong choices.

I Don't Want To, You Can't Make Me

Now, I find it holds more oomph if I say it loudly while flailing my arms, stomping my legs, and saying it in a high pitched voice over and over again, but just stating it as a fact works well too. (jumping up and down really makes your point, I find)

Jacqui, I need you to do my menial tasks for me because I'm too busy planning my next European vacation.

I don't want to, you can't make me.

Jacqui, its your mother. Can you make an extra special call to your aunt who you don't like and who doesn't like you because I think it would be nice.

I don't want to, you can't make me.

Hey lady, I'm a real jacka$$ so I'm going to try to push my way onto the train while you're struggling to get off.

Well, then I hope you enjoy my shoulder hitting you in your kidney's because I've got 50 pounds on you and here I come!

Ok, well, maybe it doesn't work in every scenario but the more I use it the more feisty I become. And I am getting very fond of being feisty!

And don't we all deserve to be a little feisty?

Some other personal mantras I've enjoyed over the years that may work for you:

No - infinity!

Bite Me!

Keep dreamin' 'cause that ain't gonna happen!

Oh, I'm sorry, I've met my "putting up with a$$holes" quota for the month.

Suck it!

Feel free to come up with your own.