Its my own fault. I let things get out of control and fell of the wagon. In fact, I jumped off that wagon and planted my face in a cupcake.

Friday we had some people over for Halloween and we had Atkins friendly stuff and not-so Atkins friendly stuff. Then CHRIS showed up with her usually unhelpful attitude. Everything we do is wrong, everything we think is wrong, blah blah blah. Kept thinking "few more weeks and I'll never have to hear her voice again". It kept me going until the cupcake. My anger, frustration and rage crept up until I grabbed a cupcake and had it in my mouth before I realized what I had done.

Saturday and Sunday I was a good girl and began to feel better, until Monday. Monday was ****. Monday I had to be Bridezilla on my mother, on David's Bridal, and Hunny was no help. Without going into detail I had asked for Mom to exchange my size 18 Plus dress for a 14 Misses because last weekend I fit into a 16 Plus. She didn't want to, thought I should do a 16 Misses so I could get down to a 12 with no problems, yet didn't believe a 14 was realistic.....wha??? She went to the store to do as I asked and got confirmation from all the ladies there AND the alterations lady who agreed. Then there was the issue of a refund that they refused to give us and insisted my mother use it for something in the store right then, sight-unseen, then there was CHRIS again and her nasty comments about me being irrational about fitting into a 14 by May 1 and how ridiculous that is. So I walked into the office kitchen, grabbed a handful of candy corn and munched.

Luckily the horrible effects from the enormous sugar rush made me so woozy and uptight that I got right back on and was good for lunch and dinner and breakfast this morning. I'm sticking it out this week and won't be weighing myself until this weekend.

I'm just so disappointed in myself for letting myself get so upset over this stuff and immediately turning to bad food.

I've decided to get back into meditating and started again last night. I'm hoping if I can meditate daily it will help me get better control over my emotional eating. Here's hoping this weekend didn't damage my progress too much.