I am Not Right

[iyamamaschke]

I have been doing very well with the low carb lifestyle cheat free almost 7 months now. I have however had medical issues in the past 2 months and I have not been the bubbly happy person I usually am. I am dealing with a lot at home. Me and my husband had to claim bankruptcy not something I ever wanted to do our money situatiuon is the shits. We don't have a lot of money. I lost my vehicle I don't really care about that but, all this stress and anxiety is taking the life out of me. I don't wanna get up in the morning. I am blowing up at my 3 kids for nothing. SOme of this may be due to caffeine withdrawls but, I ahve been like this for a few weeks. It seems my body goes through this every year I have a horrible down spell where everything sucks and I have problems it always gets better. Please help me to help myself I am doing something wonderful for my body but, exercise was a huge part of my success now to even get out and walk is like so difficult my modivation is gone I don't know what happened or why but all I know is that it did.

I won't take antidepressants cause I feel like a zmbie on them have done it before. Talking really helps me and so here I am telling all of you about my problems. I come accross so stong but, I am not so strong and lately I feel so weak and it scares me to think I may want to sabotage myself I have thought about it but, I have not given into myself. I don't want to so at least I ahve that control.

Thanks for listening.

Sarah

[only4d]

{{{{{{{Sarah}}}}}}}}}}

Recovering Self-Sabotager right here.

I read a very good book called "Breaking Free from the Victim Trap" --- I highly recommend it. It is by Diane Zimberoff. Here's a link to amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0962272809/qid=1117056724/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-1791104-0102241?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Take a look at your library, and if they don't have it, see if their inter-library loan department can find you a copy. It is VERY VERY helpful for figuring out one's reactions to life's "curve balls."

Also, you mentioned going through something like this every year. Is there some kind of anniversary going on? (like for me, right around now, I always get a little depressed and think about wasting my life, b/c this time of year, in 1992, my grandmother died, and she always wanted me to do a lot with my life.)

No antidepressants --- but what about a B-complex supplement?? Also a little extra Vitamin D?? My doc actually told me to do this, a couple years ago when I was complaining of a "down" several months. Don't take more than the jar says, Vit D can be toxic at high doses. But maybe the extra B and/or D Vits would be enough to get you out on that walk that you miss, but can't find the motivation?

I will pray for you, hon, to feel better and get your motivation back, and for your bankruptcy situation.

[Bugaboo]

I went through a bankruptcy last year. I can really sympathize with the stress you're going through. No matter what I did or how hard I tried I couldn't find an alternative. I was so not my usual self my husband finally sat me down one day to find out what was going on. When I told him "We need to declare bankruptcy." The first thing he said was "Thank God, I thought you were going to leave me." Together, as a team, we made it through. We were very fortunate to be able to declare a chapter 7 and because we had no assetts (sp?) the hearing took about 5 mins. I was able to keep my car because it was 9yrs old and I continued to make my payments. I'm not going to lie, it's going to be very stressful until it's complete. There will be good days and bad days. The most important thing is to stay a team with your husband. Lean on each other for support, vent your fears but above all remember you're in it together. You WILL get through this. You don't have to be strong every day. Allow yourself some quiet "man-this-sucks" time but don't drown in it. Don't let it run your life. Find something every day to be happy about. Whether it be the sun is out, you made a fantastic dinner, or your children are smiling and etc. One song that I love and found comfort in is Ordinary Day by Great Big Sea. If you have Yahoo go to Music Videos to see it, if not I can post the lyrics if you like. And remember no matter what you eat the problems are still there. Food won't make it go away and you'll just be adding to your rough time. You can do it honey, just remember everything you're going through is temporary. I'm sorry if I'm not very good at helping out right now but I just wanted you to know that there is always someone here who is listening and who cares. :hug

[iyamamaschke]

Just talking about all this help and is really helping me to deal with this I find it hard to show emotion and Iknow I was unable to even now. I find it hard to cry when I know I should I hold everything within myself and it's hard for me to let go of things they just build up and bother me till I can't stand it any more. It's rediculous. I lost my MOM in March of 1991 when I was 15, she was the kind of MOM who was never around never went to anything important to me and really I raised myself. My dad worked all the time was never home I really just had to bring myself up I never was a kid I never experienced the being bad and doing stupid things to find out who I am. To tell you the truth I don't know who I am I am a little girl lost in this body waiting to be discovered and trying to let go of the past. I am the girl who always wanted her dad to tell her how beautiful she is or how much he loves her you know the stuff every kid wants. I never got that I got ridiculed for my weight and teased to no end and really I was sabotashed before I evern grew up to know better. For the first time I am in control and it feels good. I don't have anyone telling me oh, wow you're fat or anything it's nice. I have withdrawn myself from that which is soo extremely bad so that I won't have the hurt any more. I moved away to get away from my family only to realize that I wanted to be closer not farther away.

I am not going to sabotash myself this time I have coome so far and done so well the eating well that's easy now if I can get my body happy again that will be the big part. I think I will try the B complex and Vit D see how it goes and hopefully I will end up with some much needed energy to help my body recover from whatever is going on with it right now.

Thank you for being here

Sarah

[only4d]

Sarah, I'm so glad to hear that you aren't going to go into "self-sabotage mode!"

With the Vit D, for me I did best to split it up, taking 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at dinner or bedtime.

For the B-Vits, make sure to get a "B complex." It has all the B vits scaled to each other, which is important b/c they work synergistically with one another. At different times in my life, I've taken a B-50 complex, and a B-100 complex. The B-100 did two things: 1) it had the best effect for me in terms of energy, but 2) it tended to make me nauseated. You might start w/ a B-50 instead. READ THE LABELS -- I'm not sure that a B-100 is the same as taking 2 B-50s! IF a B-100 is exactly twice of everything as a B-50, definitely get the B-50 b/c you can always take two. Just make CERTAIN to READ THE LABEL so you don't accidentally OD on B vitamins! I'm not sure that's possible, as to my knowledge they are water soluble, so don't store in your system like fat soluble vitamins. Maybe someone else will know more about it than me. Also check with a pharmacist or doctor or homeopath, that would be the best.

Last note: they make a liquid B-complex, which I found to be QUITE tolerable, when my tummy started rebelling from the vitamins. But, when that happened, I was barely eating any breakfast, so took the vits on almost an empty stomach.

I hope some of this is helpful!! I don't know you at all, but I know from your posts that you are one strong and beautiful woman! And is that your little one?? If so then I already know you are a 1) strong, 2) and beautiful 3) mother.

I hope you have a good day today!

:hug

[iyamamaschke]

That is my little one actually I have 3 little ones. The baby I am holding is now 2 WOW time flies. I have to wait till payday to get the vits but I will have you heard anything about 5-HTP?? I am curious and it is said to be good for anxiety adn depression. Any thooughts

[girl_interrupted]

I've heard of it but am not familiar with it. I think your best bet would be to talk to your doc or google it and do some research. Sorry, that's all I've got. I just want to offer my support. :hug

[only4d]

No, I haven't heard of it. Yeah, some google research and a chat w/ the old doc would probably be good.

I hope those B vits help you! With THREE little ones, you need all the "get up and go" you can get! lol

:wave

[iyamamaschke]

I'm feeling a lot better today guess who showed up TOM my hormones are so messed up it's 6 days early I wasn't expecting it till around the 4th well surprise and it's bad YUCK I also gained 11 overnight so TOM is really nasty this time. WHen I retain so much I know my estrogen is way off the chart. Which causes depression, anxiety, moodswings etc etc. NO WONDER this is the worst one since starting this WOE so maybe my body is releasing fat and estrogen right now and I will have a WHOOSH. That would be nice.

Sarah