post surgical blues

[lbrowne]

There seems to be very little information on this, but it is mentioned a few places and the nurse at my doctor's office confirmed this isn't unusual. But I am really hating it and am doing what I can to beat it down, even though mostly I'd rather hole up and be left alone.

I didn't even realize it was so bad until I went into town last week to try to get some work done at the deli -- which was due to open the same week I had an emergency appendectomy. Trying to get some work done, seeing a few people and talking with them... it was finally obvious that it's not just normal frustration of having plans change and recovering from surgery.

So I'm being as pro-active as possible to beat down these blues. I'm not sure if a doctor's visit will help, but I'm definitely going if there aren't improvements in the next week.

Ever since the day of the surgery I have been eating well and drinking plenty of water. My game plan was to heal as quickly as possible from the inside out! Almost all days I've been taking my supplements (biotin, chromium, etc), but I've run out of my multiple, Ester-C and another, and didn't take any at all for a couple of days. Which coincided with the blues being worse.

Saturday I bought St. Johns Wort, l-carnitine, flax oil and a super B complex with C. I first took these Saturday night and woke in the early morning hours with a bad stomachache. Obviously not my appendix this time, but no fun. I don't know if it was the new combo of supplements or the lunch I had in town. I only took biotin and chromium yesterday. Trying the other supplements again today. -- didn't buy a new multiple as I couldn't find one without iron and finally got frustrated and gave up. Walmart; I wish a health food store had been open.

I was exercising earlier last week and it felt great. I had been walking every day before that. I think that's the only thing that had been keeping my spirits up as good as they were (which still wasn't great). I need to get back on that regular routine.

I'm tired of crying too easily, feeling like no one cares, being tired and not being able to sleep well. There's a lot of emotional stuff going on with me that normally wouldn't get to me like this. It didn't help a bit that while I was down and supposed to be recovering from surgery, I basically couldn't be. Everyone kept telling me to stop and take it easy, yet they all expected me to keep going. Give me a break!! Sure, it would have been nice to slow down, and I did, but not enough, but no one else was willing to step it up to help me out. I'm still telling my family I need them to help out a LOT more, but it's doing little to no good. A lot of this is my perceived attitude; which at the moment is skewed, so give me some leeway on this!

The last thing my husband wants to deal with is an emotional woman, so right when I need him the most, I'm drawing away and holding up. Not good, but else he winds up frustrated and upset with me (and himself? whatever...), but it's easier not to even go there.

So the plan for now... get to bed on time and up on time whether I want to or not, keeping eating well, drinking lots of water, taking my supplements and get back to exercising. Listen to music. Make a list of small things to get done and work at them each day. Fake the happiness (from the list I posted on another thread ) and keep in contact with people. I'll review the list again for other ideas I'm probably missing.

I've hesitated on posting my own personal pity party, but I realize it's not just that. I really need to vocalize this and admit there is a problem.

~ Linda

[lbrowne]

Re: post surgical blues

arrggghhh!!! [Breath...... in..... and out.....]

yeah, like that, nice deep breaths.

This 'faking' being happy is a bunch of bull at the moment... but I'm trying. All the good stuff that's happened this past week I haven't been able to enjoy at all. All the little things that go wrong are REALLY stressing me. And now my daughter is home for the first time in over a week and my mom is here to help out and visit and I can't even manage to stick around. I'm trying.

Off to take my second St. Johns Wort of the day and press play on Slim in 6. Maybe I am pushing it, but I can't seem to find a happy medium. I'm either down, in a funk or in a pissy mood, with brief periods of acting like everything is okay. One day at a time....

~ Linda

[2big4mysize]

Re: post surgical blues

sorry you are feeling so blue.
Many chemical and hormonal changes went on before during and after the surgery and your body needs to get back to normal. It can take weeks for St John's wort to work.

Can you exercise yet? if you were exercising before your brain is missing those wonderfuyl endorphins it was getting that made it feel better and used up your stress hormones in a possitive manner. Now you aren't and well you are felling the effects of them.

Are you getting enough bright light too? Many folk shut themselves in when they are recovering, denying their penial gland the strong light it needs to change the chemicals in the brain to become serotonin, the feel good brain chem.

Hang in there it will pass and you will recover.

So did you get a keyhole incision?

[D3anna]

Re: post surgical blues

arrggghhh!!! [Breath...... in..... and out.....]

yeah, like that, nice deep breaths.

This 'faking' being happy is a bunch of bull at the moment... but I'm trying. All the good stuff that's happened this past week I haven't been able to enjoy at all. All the little things that go wrong are REALLY stressing me. And now my daughter is home for the first time in over a week and my mom is here to help out and visit and I can't even manage to stick around. I'm trying.

Off to take my second St. Johns Wort of the day and press play on Slim in 6. Maybe I am pushing it, but I can't seem to find a happy medium. I'm either down, in a funk or in a pissy mood, with brief periods of acting like everything is okay. One day at a time....

~ Linda

Linda, I know exactly how you feel!

I had breast reduction surgery in Jan. 2005 and ever since then I've been struggling with the same feelings. My husband doesn't understand why I'm down, stressed, etc. and it's not something I can explain to him why I have been feeling like this, because I can't quite explain it to myself. It just doesn't make any sense. I also feel like I have to let everyone see that I'm fine and dandy...faking that I'm happy...but that only works for so long.

I had a really low point where I didn't care about anything anymore, including my weight. Which is why I'm pretty much back down to square 1 as far as weight loss goes. You'd think I'd be happy to be back on track, but I actually feel depressed that I gained so much weight back, and have to start all over again.

I'm trying to be more social, which is one of the hardest things for me to do when I'm feeling like this...but it takes my mind off of my feelings and seems to help a little. I'm a hermit crab at heart, and I'd be just fine locked up in my house all year.

There aren't usually words that can be said to help someone get out of a funk like this...so the best I can do is just wish you strength, comfort and peace of mind during this time that your going through...if you ever need to talk or rant feel free to PM me.

Oh, Can you tell if the St. John's Wort is helping? If so let me know, maybe I should try some.

[ttdriver]

Re: post surgical blues

Linda ..

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you a good day.

Betty

[Finelly]

Re: post surgical blues

Scientists have long recognized that people who survive heart surgery often go through periods of depression afterwards. What they are now seeing is that it's really about ANY kind of surgery!

When our bodies are vulnerable, our souls are, as well. This applies to the flu, the common cold, surgery of any kind, toothache, headache, etc. If we all think back, we can see that when we haven't felt well physically, we have been less strong emotionally as well. Sometimes it is harder for our minds and souls to get back to normal than it is for our bodies to heal.

Naturally we want to avoid sitting on our pity pots and wallowing in the crappy feeling. But we also know that isolating ourselves and not talking about how we feel is unhealthy. It's GOOD to post, and I hope you both will do so regularly. It's a baby step toward getting better. And many baby steps equal large steps!

I know all about "acting as if" we are doing well. It does work, but it doesn't work alone. Make sure you are doing some nurturing things for yourselves. Stay in touch with your bodies, because depression separates our soul from the physical. If you can get a massage, do so. Get a pedicure or something where people are touching your feet or hands or face. It really helps, plus it makes you look good! lol

Go slow. If you cannot bring yourself to go to the gym, take 3 five-minute walks throughout the day. Get your body moving. If you can't eat large meals, eat 6 small meals. If you can't bring yourself to leave the house to be around a ton of people, visit a bookstore or a park. Instead of large groups, find one person to hang out with every now and again.

The only way to get out of this is to get through it. Make sure you tell your doctor what is going on - you'd be suprised how understanding they are!

I'm sending good, positive, soothing thoughts in your directions!

[Terry]

Re: post surgical blues

Hi Linda!

Its been several weeks since you began to post about this..

How are you doing now? Finelly has some really good advise.

I hope that time has begun to make life a little better for you as you heal.

<warm hug>

[Brook]

Re: post surgical blues

Oh Linda I'm so sorry.

Super-mom/wife complex is a witch. You know what? The house isn't going to fall down if you don't clean it. No one is going to starve to death if you don't cook for everyone. They will eventually wash their own clothes when they run out of underwear and socks, and if you barracade the door, they can't get to you

I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need and deserve from within. If I were closer, my friend, I'd be over there right now helping with the house and cooking and troops. I really wish I were.

You get to be human too, and if you're anything like me, you hated writing this out but knew getting it off your chest and out there would make it all feel different and lend some perspective. I'm proud of you, Linda. I know how difficult doing that was.

If there's anything I can do, please, let me know - otherwise, I'm just gonna haunt you here


~Brook

[lbrowne]

Re: post surgical blues

Thanks, everyone! Overall it's been improving, but this last week wasn't very good. Eating badly and not working my steps for improvement, but I started taking those steps again last night.

Thanks for the good advice, Finelly.

Linda, I know exactly how you feel!

I had breast reduction surgery in Jan. 2005 and ever since then I've been struggling with the same feelings. My husband doesn't understand why I'm down, stressed, etc. and it's not something I can explain to him why I have been feeling like this, because I can't quite explain it to myself. It just doesn't make any sense. I also feel like I have to let everyone see that I'm fine and dandy...faking that I'm happy...but that only works for so long.

I had a really low point where I didn't care about anything anymore, including my weight. Which is why I'm pretty much back down to square 1 as far as weight loss goes. You'd think I'd be happy to be back on track, but I actually feel depressed that I gained so much weight back, and have to start all over again.

I'm trying to be more social, which is one of the hardest things for me to do when I'm feeling like this...but it takes my mind off of my feelings and seems to help a little. I'm a hermit crab at heart, and I'd be just fine locked up in my house all year.

There aren't usually words that can be said to help someone get out of a funk like this...so the best I can do is just wish you strength, comfort and peace of mind during this time that your going through...if you ever need to talk or rant feel free to PM me.

Oh, Can you tell if the St. John's Wort is helping? If so let me know, maybe I should try some.

That sounds soooo familiar!

I think it was helping. I've been off my supplements for a week or more and started back on them today. Besides the St. John's Wort, flax oils and B vitamins were recommended. There were some others, but those were what I was taking along with a multi-vitamin, biotin and L-Carnitine.

Besides making lists and/or plans for weight loss, have you done the same for this? If nothing is helping at all, do talk to your doctor. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

The highlight of my day today? (besides finding the support here -- thank you all!!) I cleaned a hall closet, throwing some things away, sorting and organizing it. There was a torn flannel sheet one of the kids had 'put away' in there that I made into rags for the garage. Normally I would have just tossed it, but doing something so simple gave me a little bit of peace. It reminded me of my grandmothers not wasting anything, and then brought to mind a summer when I hung everything out to dry instead of using the drier. Little things, but elemental. I don't have a good clothesline here, and really don't have the extra energy right now, but I can tell I strongly need some balance in my life. I am sincerely going to work on that. Hanging clothes out to dry probably sounds really weird, especially to anyone who normally does those things, but lately I get too caught up in the rat-race of life and don't take time for the enjoyment of any of it. Well, some of it isn't taking time, the other part is not being able to find the enjoyment of it.

I'm working on it.

~ Linda

[Terry]

Re: post surgical blues

Linda.... Keep on posting and typing your way thru it here with your friends. That is what we are all here for. I would be right there with Brook if we were all closer.

Hanging clothes doesnt sound weird to me... Im do and there is a certain peacefulness in it knowing that I am doing what others have done for eons before the days of electricity..... and the dreaded bill that accompanies it. Kind of homey.

The rat race we all jump into is highly overrated.

[lbrowne]

Re: post surgical blues

Super-mom/wife complex is a witch. You know what? The house isn't going to fall down if you don't clean it. No one is going to starve to death if you don't cook for everyone. They will eventually wash their own clothes when they run out of underwear and socks, and if you barracade the door, they can't get to you

Thanks, Brook!

It really shows me how bad some of the habits are we've gotten into lately. Instead of everyone else stepping up when I need them, it feels like they just need me more. It's been a big adjustment with me planning on going to work outside the home. I'm sure you can relate to that too! Upheaval = needing more of mom's time just when there's less of it to give.

I have decided that if I ever go through a period like this again, to he11 with the budget and having good food in the house. If they decide to buy and eat junk, it's up to them whether or not they do. Part of my problem is in not having the support around me food-wise. I've decided I need to not stress about that and let it go. I'll do what I need to for me... and not expect that support from the outside.

It really hurt when my mom wasn't seeming to support what I'm trying to instill in the kids with eating/cooking habits, but I'm coming to grips with that too. I cannot do anything to influence her back to Atkins if she doesn't want to, and if the kids and my husband buy junk food I have to not take it personally. In cooking meals the past few weeks, there's been a lot of eggs and hamburger and not much variety on how they're cooked. DH made a comment about that the other day and it did hurt, but that's a whole 'nother issue I need to deal with later.

Balance. First I need to find it in small ways within myself... then I can work on it in other ways.

~ Linda

[lbrowne]

Re: post surgical blues

Linda.... Keep on posting and typing your way thru it here with your friends. That is what we are all here for. I would be right there with Brook if we were all closer.

Hanging clothes doesnt sound weird to me... Im do and there is a certain peacefulness in it knowing that I am doing what others have done for eons before the days of electricity..... and the dreaded bill that accompanies it. Kind of homey.

The rat race we all jump into is highly overrated.

Thanks, Terry. That's exactly it with drying clothes! I know many areas/countries/cultures don't use dryers at all, so to them that probably seems weird. The homey things I really need right now, like having a clean house, having my family pitch in to help out, having meals together, etc.

~ Linda

[Finelly]

Re: post surgical blues

Cleaning out my closets is one of my best ways to deal with depression and anxiety. Putting order in material things seems to help me put my mind in order, as well.

So why not hang laundry?