Anybody else spending this holiday without a loved one for the first time?

[2big4mysize]

Holiday traditions are steeps in memories of holidays gone by. depending on which your religieon celebrates you have services, candle lighting, singing, gift exchanging and other things going on that are constant reminders of past holidays spent with that person and the fact they are gone is brought to the front of your mind constantly.

The minister at our church always had a Christmas luncheon for those who lost a spouse during the yr and I never really understood why that was needed nor why you'd want to remind them of their loss like that until this yr when it has all hit me. they already were being reminded of it every day every hour.

I know for me taking over my dad's "jobs" getting Mother's decorations down out of the attic, taking her to buy her tree where they always got it together really opened the flood gates. I'm sure the fellows at the boys club thinks I'm a dingbat crying over a tree. I found my dad's list of things to take Mother to do in Dec list ( yep my dad was a big list maker) and have been trying to let her enjoy her normal activities of the Christmas season even if they aren't my normal activites.
I'm not sure if it is playing "Dad" for her or what but for the first time in my life their is no Christmas joy for me, just dreading things I "have" to do


So how you guys doing?

[Laurenfra]

Re: Anybody else spending this holiday without a loved one for the first time?

2 big I lost my dad one christmas and my mom the next. We celebrated the same way for 13 years. Since the year we got married we have christmas eve with his family and day with mine. All of the sudden what to do on christmas day? Everything we knew had to do with waking up at moms house. Santa came to mom's (she had a chimney). In stead of sitting around feeling strange having the holiday at home. My husband came up with lots of new traditions. Things we didnt do with my parents. Things that became ours.
Even the last year we had with mom we ate in the kitchen as to not miss dad at the head of the table. Try not to dwell on what is missing rejoyce on what is new! \
((((((((((((((((((((((2big)))))))))))))))))))))

[Anlhess]

Re: Anybody else spending this holiday without a loved one for the first time?

I'm without a loved one,but it is basically my own doing. Hubby and I seperated two weeks before Thanksgiving and this has been tuff for me. Although It is both my motivation to keep this WOE and unfortunately my reason for wanting to give up this WOE. So far so good at keep it. Today is day 14 of a clean induction.

Thankfully I will be with mymom and grandparents and neice and nephew for Xmas so that will help ease the pain some. One day at a time is all I can do...

[2big4mysize]

Re: Anybody else spending this holiday without a loved one for the first time?

hang in there Anlhess. keep your Atkins emergency kit with yoolu and since you are sopending your holidays with mom and grandparents make sure they are part of your Atkins support network and you should have an easy time wit your food.

Thanks Lauren. It is already new to me experiences this Christmas filling Dad's shoes. With Mother's Alzhemier you'd think she would forget some of the traditions but nope every one from her holiday meal to the sugared pecans with the JD for dad has been on the top of her list every day for the last 2 weeks and since as part of her illness she has no concept of time Christmas is always tomorrow so we got to hurry to get it all done.