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I posted this in induction, but I realized it fit here, almost more than it fit there. And I think those of us that battle depression have a harder time with this than anyone else.
I began Atkins thanks to a wonderful friend. He and I aren't romantically involved, he is just someone special to me. He didn't care what I weighted, and would have still been my friend if I was twice the size I was. But it was an issue to me, a big issue, and because it was one to me, it became one to him because he cared. He encouraged me to find a way to loose weight and I researched and found Atkins.
Since I started Atkins in October, I've become very introspective and done much soul searching as to why I became the size I was. And I realized something, I didn't like me very much, and somewhere along the lines I didn't think I was worth taking care of.
People close to me tell me things about me, that I have a hard time believing that I was smart, pretty, talented, special, etc. And I'd hear the same things from co-workers and people I volunteer with. But I couldn't see it. I'd look in the mirror and see me as I viewed me – a failure who was good for nothing at all. I didn't have fat goggles on, I wore self-loathing goggles instead. No, I didn't like me at all.
But I started to think and analyze what was wrong with me, and the only thing I can find is that I'm overweight. Well, I realized something, lots and lots of people are overweight too. Some more than me. And in all that soul-searching, I realized that others were right. That I am a good person, I am pretty, I am smart. Nothing can hold me back, but my own attitude toward myself.
I can love the entire world if I try. I have a hard time hating; it's not in my nature. And if I can love everyone else, why can I love me. And you know what? I couldn't find a single reason why. I just couldn't look past the failure I perceived myself as. Once I looked past that, I discovered I could love myself.
I am important enough to myself to eat right. To cook a real meal at night. To move my backside and exercise. To look at me and say, "you know Wendy, you're worthwhile and a special person. And I love you."
Whether I loose the rest of the weight in a year, two years, or ten years, it doesn't matter. Because I've found that I can love me, and the weight I am no longer holds any power of failure over me. I can choose to beat it or I can choose not to beat it. If I hadn't chosen to win the war, I'd stop, but I'm worth enough to live a long and healthy life at a weight that will allow me to live life to the fullest.
Just a little question to you each, do you love yourself?
Wen
I began Atkins thanks to a wonderful friend. He and I aren't romantically involved, he is just someone special to me. He didn't care what I weighted, and would have still been my friend if I was twice the size I was. But it was an issue to me, a big issue, and because it was one to me, it became one to him because he cared. He encouraged me to find a way to loose weight and I researched and found Atkins.
Since I started Atkins in October, I've become very introspective and done much soul searching as to why I became the size I was. And I realized something, I didn't like me very much, and somewhere along the lines I didn't think I was worth taking care of.
People close to me tell me things about me, that I have a hard time believing that I was smart, pretty, talented, special, etc. And I'd hear the same things from co-workers and people I volunteer with. But I couldn't see it. I'd look in the mirror and see me as I viewed me – a failure who was good for nothing at all. I didn't have fat goggles on, I wore self-loathing goggles instead. No, I didn't like me at all.
But I started to think and analyze what was wrong with me, and the only thing I can find is that I'm overweight. Well, I realized something, lots and lots of people are overweight too. Some more than me. And in all that soul-searching, I realized that others were right. That I am a good person, I am pretty, I am smart. Nothing can hold me back, but my own attitude toward myself.
I can love the entire world if I try. I have a hard time hating; it's not in my nature. And if I can love everyone else, why can I love me. And you know what? I couldn't find a single reason why. I just couldn't look past the failure I perceived myself as. Once I looked past that, I discovered I could love myself.
I am important enough to myself to eat right. To cook a real meal at night. To move my backside and exercise. To look at me and say, "you know Wendy, you're worthwhile and a special person. And I love you."
Whether I loose the rest of the weight in a year, two years, or ten years, it doesn't matter. Because I've found that I can love me, and the weight I am no longer holds any power of failure over me. I can choose to beat it or I can choose not to beat it. If I hadn't chosen to win the war, I'd stop, but I'm worth enough to live a long and healthy life at a weight that will allow me to live life to the fullest.
Just a little question to you each, do you love yourself?
Wen
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