Afraid of hitting goal

[msnicksmom]

I have seen a very odd pattern in this weight loss journey and wondered if any of you have any thoughts.

I'll be going along at a nice .5-1 lb fluctuation in either direction for weeks. Then, I'll see a 2 lb whoosh. In a week, not a night. And then I'll cheat. I'm through OWL, not diligently adding spec new foods, just sticking w/in 50-60 carbs and definitely no sugar and VERY little white flour or rice.

But, once I see that whoosh, which NEVER has an explanation unless it's hormonal, I'll cheat, with alcohol, fruit juice, and desserts. I'll be back up a couple lbs of water weight for a couple days, be back at the low number, and then have several weeks of that little variance.

I'm 2.5 lbs from goal. What is my problem?

I wonder if I'm afraid of the challenge of maintaining?

Or am I afraid of not having anything to focus on once I hit goal, and then losing my motivation?

Any thoughts are welcome.

[boonie stomper]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

I'm stopping by to wait for a good answer too; I've got fears like that also...

[Heidi3]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

I want to tell you but I dont want you to get mad at me

ok well I will tell you...QUIT OVER THINKING THIS AND GET OVER IT!!! seriously...as long as you hang on to that crap you will keep wasting time!!!

you came here to make some changes ...and one of those has to be to move on from this kind of obsessive thinking ....trust me there is no shortage of shiit in life to keep that part of your mind occupied ....find it and let go of this one!!!

ok I am done ..please know this worked for me and you asked for something good OOOXXX

[Dolphin]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

....trust me there is no shortage of shiit in life to keep that part of your mind occupied ...

That is the TRUTH!!!! I love your quote Heidi!!!! I'm going to use this one for the rest of my life! Thanks.

[msnicksmom]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

Or, am I still thinking of that cheat as my "reward"?

See, I really am confused. In another goalie post, I mentioned that I'm glad I'm fluctuating a bit and going slowly enough to experiment, and I AM.

Maybe my cheat is pushing the envelope, REALLY testing the waters.

Hm. Heidi may be right, I may just be over thinking the whole thing. I guess we'll see what the next couple weeks bring

[Heidi3]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

Or, am I still thinking of that cheat as my "reward"?

See, I really am confused. In another goalie post, I mentioned that I'm glad I'm fluctuating a bit and going slowly enough to experiment, and I AM.

Maybe my cheat is pushing the envelope, REALLY testing the waters.

Hm. Heidi may be right, I may just be over thinking the whole thing. I guess we'll see what the next couple weeks bring

honey I am right on this one and you are overthinking it ...I would never have this insight if someone had not slapped me upside the head when I started this ...set a date for the end of this and hold yourself to it ...whatever your weight is on that date ..call it the end of this battle and start settling in to the fact you have succeeded

[Heidi3]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

That is the TRUTH!!!! I love your quote Heidi!!!! I'm going to use this one for the rest of my life! Thanks.

good!!!!

[Pie4me]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

I have read some of your other posts and you sound a lot like me!
I think you are afraid to finally make goal because then you wouldn't
have anything else to strife for. That is exactly my problem and why
I gain and lose 10-20 pounds every time but I never let myself get
over 20 pounds hevier than I need to be.

I even get a little disappointed when I hit goal because it is kind of like
the "game" is over and I don't get to "play" anymore. Does that make
any sense? Do you feel any of these emotions I mentioned msnicksmom?

I know in my head that maintaining the weight is a lot harder in the long
run than loosing it...but for some reason I don't want to play that game
or I am afraid I will fail so I keep working at the same 10-20 pounds.
Luckily my weight has never gotten over 20 pounds from my goal weight.
I just won't let that happen...it is a mind game and I get tired of playing
but won't stop. Boy-this is hard to admit to myself. I usually ignore myself
and just go on. Maybe this will help someone and I can find some of my
own answers......


Pie4me
48 yoa
5'9 1/2
sw 168
cw 143
goal 148

[dreamof145]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

For me...changing my life-style was a huge step. I was fat all my life. As my body began changing, I have had many fears. I believe it is a normal process that we all go through. Fears are what have fueled all great minds into taking action.

I still have anxiety over the way I've changed my attitude and my life. Anyone who says that changing your weight will not change your life is nuts. Everything about me changed. I have a new respect for myself and know for the first time in my life that I am responsible for everything I do.

Instead of pondering over it and giving power to the FAT WOMAN inside of me, when I have these thoughts -- I take action. By taking action, I mean I write my thoughts down in my journal. Then, I list the positive outcomes from my weight loss. I feel better, am healthier, look better, have more confidence in myself, wear nicer clothes, don't worry about what others are thinking of me every time someone glances at me, Have more energy, am more outgoing, have better relationships with family. All this is a result of shedding the weight.

I agree, don't overthink this. Negative thoughts are just an excuse that our minds use to stop us. I have made it a choice to not let anyone or anything stop me. (not even myself with my procrastinative thoughts) Write it out in your journal and then GO FORWARD. Losing the weight is not when the game of life ends. Losing weight improved my quality of life. I consider it a step in life that has made me stronger in everything else I do. It has given me strength to know that I am strong and I can do anything I put my mind to.

[Miss_Newbie]

But what is a person to do if they are afraid of seeing any success at all?

[dreamof145]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

I believe that you might think you are afraid of losing the weight, but in reality you are afraid of failing at losing the weight. The fears are probably triggered at being laughed at or pitied by people for attempting to doing something and failing. That was a big thing that I had to overcome.

I had to finally commit to changing my attitude about myself and foods. It took me several months to believe in myself enough to feel comfortable with what I was doing. I heard so many negative comments and had so many doubts (that were fueled by past failures) that it was a struggle at first. Being active in the ADBB and the knowledge and inspiration that I gained here helped me to come to terms with my frustrations.

Instead of dwelling on the WHAT IF I CAN'T DO IT mode, start reading how others did it & learn from their successes and mistakes. The ADBB is full of people who/were in the same shoes and started at the beginning. I truely believe that the reason we don't lose it overnight is that we couldn't handle fast results. For me, it has been a process that had to be made in small steps. If I'd lost the weight real fast, I would be devasted to gain an ounce. As it is now, I am learning how my body reacts to different foods and what I must do when the tables turn and I start to go up a pound or two. I have a plan and I follow it. Its not always easy, but I have educated myself on how Atkins works for me. We can all do this.

Well, I could write another 2-3 paragraphs on this subject, but I this is basically how I deal with fear of losing.

[lowcarbing4ever]

Re: Afraid of hitting goal

I can relate, Miss Newbie. This is so me. This is just some personal observations and may not relate to many people here but anyways.....

I am nowhere near goal but I know that the bottom of all my cheating is fear. I have been overweight my whole life. I have never ever been thin. I think that once you start losing weight, you have to learn to deal with a whole new you and that can be scary. When you are overweight, you act a certain way, have certain beliefs, certain views, mainly because that is how the overweight you sees things. To some sad extent, you get used to it, comfortable even, in the "fat suit" you are wearing. Especially for people like me who have been abused or sexually assaulted. Fat is our protection, our security blanket, at the same time that its our curse.

Losing weight, takes that away and in a sense you are raw and kinda out there. That is true also with others who don't have those issues of abuse, etc. You have nothing to hide behind and you have to deal with how people see, act and deal with the new you. Even you have to learn how to deal with the new you! That can be fearful and make you sabotage your own efforts. As a thinner person, you are more prone to action. You "do" things as opposed to letting things pass you by, like you did when you were overweight. You see things in a whole new way versus the old way. While liberating, it can be downright scary if you have been overweight for a long time. I am afraid to lose weight because I have never been thin before and so to me, it is very frightening. I have hid behind my fat for 25 yrs and have gotten somewhat comfortable, for lack of better words, with being miserable and overweight. Now, I do not like it and am doing all that I can to fight it but sometimes the old me persuades me to cheat and go back to my normal fat way of being. It is hard emotionally trying to lose weight because there are so many reasons why we gain weight and once the weight is gone, so is the reason we emotionally leaned on to get there and that can be hard to deal with. It is a struggle, miss newbie but you can do it and even if you have to keep trying, keep trying because I know it iw worth it. I know I will.