Christmas

[Moochiecat]

Not sure if this falls under the title of Emotional Eating...Emotional for sure anyway.
Christmas is sneaking up on us all, and I am really sure I'm going to be ok with my eating, but geez, I was thinking the other day about it, and my memories are just food food food.
My mother passed away suddenly 16 years ago on Dec. 20th, and since then I've carried on the tradition of baking things and giving them out as gifts to family and friends. I feel quite lost this year, because there's just no way I can do that. I know everyone understands, and my Mom of all people would be SO happy to see me thinner, but I really miss the fun of it all.
I'm not tempted to cheat, but my emotional bond with food has never seemed as strong as it is now, in the holiday season. I miss my Mom, I miss my treats, I miss spoiling other people with my baking. :anger

And yet, I'm so happy with how I'm doing, and I wouldn't have it any other way but there's just a big part of Christmas that's missing for me.

I've faced my demons when it comes to the eating in private issues that I had, but this whole Christmas baking thing kind of bit me in the butt the other day. I'm trying to sort it all out.

[Angelpug]

I know, I think, what you mean about the Christmas baking. It has beena big source of pleasure for me, too, and I am even going ahead and baking breads for many people. It's weird, not to partake. I think I am okay with it, but, still, something is missing. A loss.

[JoanOH]

I understand -- it's a tough year for me dealing with this very same issue. My grandmother used to be the baker in the family -- hundreds of dozens of cookies at Christmas time. Then it was passed on to my Mom, and then to me. For 30-35 years I have been baking hundreds of cookies to hand out to neighbors, relatives, co-workers, friends, etc... and it hit me about a month ago that I couldn't do it this year. I know I would have to taste-test every single batch (that's the perfectionist in me), and that would NOT be good.

I've mentioned in other posts that I came up with a substitute present for the cookies -- probably not as appreciated, but homemade and heartfelt - and I can't do more than that.

I have come to see it that NOT baking cookies is this year's Christmas present to myself and DH! First, I'm saving an incredible amount of money, not buying all those extravagant ingredients. Next, I'm adding about two weeks of less-stress time into my life with the time I save not having to bake all those cookies. And, the obvious, I'm not tempted to cheat, and I certainly would have been if I'd made cookies! (I make *great* cookies!! LOL)

I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to be in an environment where I don't have to be tempted by foods that might make me stray off this WOE. DH deserves the same. We are as important as the past-cookie-receivers!! And we are probably doing THEM a favor by not adding extra pounds onto them by inundating them with cookies. (Ooooo.. I just thought of that one ...I like it! LOL)

Anyone who has received my cookies in the past that knows me and loves me will understand. To those who don't... ah well That's life!

Joan J

[Moochiecat]

yes, a loss, exactly!

I've discovered that food=love, when it comes to having folks over for dinner or giving away baking as gifts.

One thing I'll NEVER NEVER do anymore is force people to eat when they don't want to. I'm ashamed to say that I used to ask if someone wanted dessert, and if they said no, I would pressure them into it. Geez...as if *I* had any right to make them eat when they didn't want to! I can't believe I was that self-absorbed that my need to feel good and giving was greater than their right to choose what they ate!!
I remember one particular incident with my niece, and I took her aside and apologized to her for it.

Having folks for dinner now is a joy because I know I'm feeding them something that is good for them. (I always include a low-fat salad dish as well for those who aren't into high fat...I try and cater to everyone.)
Food still equals love, but it's guilt free now, thank goodness.

[AmyTheobald]

My memories of christmas with my mom revolved around baking as well! With my 3 kiddo's being a bit older this year 4,3, and 1 I was really excited to pass on that tradition. We did do baking, I just didn't partake in the results. we kept enough of the goodies for 2 servings for my kids and DH, and packaged and delivered the rest to family and friends...I thought alot about not doing baking etc. this year....but really wanted to make these memories with my kids. I don't think it was the christmas cookies that made me fat, but the yearlong low fat high carb eating... I also don't want to deprive my kids of the little treats in life, in moderation I think they are fine! Atkins has taught me that example serves better than words anyhow, my two DS's take bread off of hamburgers, love veggies and fruits and eat pretty healthy on a daily basis.

[Angelpug]

I, too, used to pressure people to eat. I scorned diets as a form of punishment that I would rescue the person from! I am humbled now.

[AngelicaA]

:wave

I know exactly how all of you feel. Not quite the same circumstances. But food DOES play a part in Christmas.

I had wonderful memories of my siblings, my mother and me baking cookies and making candy for Christmas. And I too, want to pass that tradition on to my children. It wasn't just about eating, it was about being together and having fun!

Yesterday...I did have a bite of what my daughter made (choc covered pretzels) and I felt so guilty. But, that guilt kept me from eating more....is this a good thing?? I know what they taste like, but, I wanted one because I love them.

I even considered not doing low carb from now until the New Year....but, I haven't done it yet. What's wrong with me? urplequ:

I know that once I lose this weight, I can eat in moderation, but I can't do that yet because I still have 25lbs to lose!! :sadblinky

Christmas just doesn't feel the same because of this...for me anyway. I feel like I'm not only depriving myself, but my children too because I don't want to be in the kitchen baking with them because I know I'll have one!! They wanted to make cutouts this past weekend and I avoided it like the plauge and promised them that we would do it next weekend! How do I get through this???? Sorry for the ramble.

Angie

[floydgirl]

I agree, baking is a tradition at Christmas time. This year I am hosting Christmas dinner for my family (Mom & dad, 3 brothers and their families). So I'll be serving a traditional Christmas dinner. I just asked my sis-in-laws to make desserts to share. That way I don't have to deal with baking sweets.

AngelicaA, maybe if instead of baking cookies, you could do a craft with your kids? They have easy craft kits you could do. You'd still be spending time together and starting a new tradition. There are also many festive activities going on right now. Perhaps you and your children could participate in one of the festivities -- another tradition.

[musician]

I too really just associate food with all occasions, with anytime you're having a good time, and though I don't have any kids yet (I'm only 20), I am so looking forward to when I do have them some years from now and can make little snacks and meals for them, bake with them, have picnics and so on... I guess I'll just have to watch the way I do it though, cuz obviously I got my feelings for food from somewhere (going for walks in the forest with my dad and sister in the winter, and having cobs with fried egg and ketchup in and hot chocolate truely are great memories...) still up to starting school I was never a chubby kid, rather quite skinny, so maybe it was more what happened as I got older which made food a probleme (with my dad having heart surgery and my mom being absent, I guess I am to this day such a comfort eater...)

I was thinking, if it is to much of a challenge baking and baking and baking, maybe do just a little baking and do other things with your kids too, like folding christmas tree decorations with pretty coloured paper and stuff like that...

[2big4mysize]

why does food have to be a part of your holiday traditions at all? Make new ones and celebrate the love of your holiday and family and not the foods. Back in the old days when food was scarse and you had to work your butt off growing gathering and preserving it sharing what you had was a means to show how greatly you did love that person but now with food at the corner store and you didn't have to bust your butt growning it all yr food as love isn't the great meaning it once had. Your family will love the new holiday traditions just as much if you tell them well in advance that you will be doing ____________ this yr instead so they don't arrive all geared up for the old food tradition and find the new nonfood tradition.

[musician]

At the same time, if you are an emotional eater, I think it's important to learn to enjoy food (with limits) on special occasion, but along with that learn to know when to stop, and when it is comfort and when it is food you want etc... I think "not eating" at christmas would be to much of a punishment you'd just rebel against... You've got to allow yourself to do everything in good measure, or you won't stick with it in the long run... Christmas has to do with food, but like you said, people used to have to work for it... So why not make a new tradition in going out for a massive walk in the morning with the family, or playing in the snow with your kids, followed by a nice dinner (though no binging, cuz really, it isn't nice to feel stuffed afterwards) and a return to better habits when you've had your fun...

[2big4mysize]

why take the food addiction tiger out of the cage to play russian roulette with him? Eating those foods even a little will reinforce the food association memory synapses in our brain and our subconcious uses those to play Dr when we are upset, down nervous, anxious, in pain excited etc to cure us of what ails us. I know I want my Dr Brain to be picjking for all the new ways i have learned to dael with those emotions other then food the next time.

I don't view chosing to eat healthy as a punishment it is a life saving cure. Learn to view those foods as an allergic condition they make you break out in fat and you will not miss them. I just finished my 3rd Christmas low carb and since i was in maintenance I could have had a bit of the higher carb stuff but I actually like the low carb foods i cook better now and those old traditional foods have no place in my celebration.

[musician]

I suppose if it's been a huge probleme for somebody, it might be a great idea just not to go down that road again, still, though I've been up and down, I am looking forward to reaching my target and hopefully being able to stick to having a little of everything once in a while... The reasons I've gained weight, if I just think about it a little, has more to do with (as an adult) eating too much and not moving around enough rather than eating the wrong foods... (And comfort eating, eating out of boredom...)

I look forward to being able to eat healthily and within the kcals I use rather than being scared of bread (but then again, I love bread with rye, seeds etc.) and I look forward to being able to enjoy meals with my dad of my boyfriend, ok, they don't have to be carb loaded, but for example my favorite meal ever (been so since I was a kid) is spinach lasagna (whole leaf spinach, bechamel sauce with some cheese, and obviously pasta) and I wouldn't ever be able to stick to healthy eating if I made myself go without this wonderful food for the rest of my life (don't mean to make you hungry, but mmmm yummy with some fresh tomato and a bit of parmesan on top of it... ) and so I am gonna treat myself to it once in a while.... Just not every week, like me and bf did for a while... He loves it too.. :P

[2big4mysize]

you can low carb all that and have it now as a part of your Atkins WOL.


that wasn't what this topic was about. it was about Christmas baking of high carb foods as gifts and the emotional eating attached to those treats.
Emotional eating is very different then having a food you enjoyed like a pasta dish or a slice of bread as a part of a meal. Emotional eating is about stuffing your face not to feed your body but cause you are trying to use that food as a medicine to fix an emothional issue you are facing. You don't have a serving you just eat and eat and eat. You are very fortunate in that you don't suffer from that issue.

[musician]

oh but i so do from time too time, if i'm having a rough time i'm very likely to give up on all my trying to be good and eating until my belly hurts... at the same time i want to be able to enjoy all foods, just be able to control myself with them you know... honestly i can remember times quite resently when i've had something, been eating it and realising i'm so full it's really hard to have it at all, but still finish it cuz i opened it... if i don't watch myself i can very easily just keep eating all through the day... maybe you didn't understand what i ment, i said i've gained weight from eating to much maybe more than the wrong things (which i actualy question now... i've prob eaten a good mixture of bad and "good" things, in excess...) but also from comfort eating and eating out of boredom...

sorry for getting away from your topic, but christmas isn't for another 10 months now...