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  • Do you ever feel...?

    that your loved ones don't understand and that they try to sabotage you without even meaning to?

    My DBF offers me stuff I can't have all the time. He knows I can't have it, but still insists... I don't know if its because of the time I fell off the boat he figures I'll just want the stuff he offers or what. It bugs me sometimes though.

    He once made a comment though about how I'm gonna be to hot to be with a guy like him when I reach goal. Maybe he's just worried?


    His mom tells me I deserve a break every single time I go to her house.

    I don't think they understand its not that easy to get back on track when you slip off... that its just like an recovering alcoholic being given a new bottle of booze for christmas.

  • #2
    wow...that must be tough. maybe he makes those comments and does those things because deep down inside, he's really subciousciously or maybe consciously self conscious about himself. or maybe you're right...he's really happy that you're making yourself better...but there IS a stigma that when heavier girls loose weight, they gain this attitude problem...and start acting like they're too good for all the people that was in their life when they were heavier. or...he really doesn't mean to do any of this...some people...just say and do things that they don't mean to say and do. for example my grandma knows i'm trying my best with this low carb diet and then (being asians) she cooks me fried rice and breaded fried chicken.

    i'm not saying that what i'm saying is true, but they're just possibilities. anyway...whatever the reason is...i can empathize with what you're going through. i hope that he'll realize what he's doing...maybe you can communicate this feeling? like i said...he probably doesn't realize he's doing it.

    btw...you're pictures are soooo inspiring! keep up the GREAT work!
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being."

    --Carl G. Jung
    ----



    Angelica
    20/F/California

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    • #3
      lots of people have had that problem with friends lovers and coworkers.

      Take Dr Atkins advice and using your Dr Phil words tell him you need him to be an Atkins support system for you. tell him I need you to be strong for me when I am weak. I need you to be my biggest cheerleader and defender when others are tempting me. I need you to help me become the healthier smaller me so we can grow old togther and enjoy our long life time of shared experiences.

      If that doesn't work you need a new fellow.

      Now for his mother change a few words and give here the same speech but use the mommy factor and say so Your son and I can grow old together and enjoy our long healthy life time of shared experiences. tug hard at those mommie feelings she has.

      then while you are on a roll recruit your friends and coworkers too.

      My church friends and members sort of just stepped to the plate when i explained to some of them about why I couldn't eat some of the foods being served at a church dinner. next dinner before i could even say no thank you to the server one of the elderly ladys was saying NO she can't have that it not on her diet. and suddenely my Atkins WOE was their top priority I counldn't have cheated at a church function if I wanted too. They were so proud of my weight loss and told everybody why i wasn't eating the desserts or whatever. Some of them even come up to me and tell me the ingredients in their dishes when we have a covered dish thinking they have gotten it low carb for me. I tell you the love I feel on those nights is the best feeling.
      by the book atkinseer

      started 6/1/02 at 313
      goalie 5/04 at 167 with under 15% body fat ADBB Presidents exercise Challenge


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      • #4
        Omg yes!! My mom guilts me a LOT. For instance now that I'm on atkins she's like nooo you're eating all the lamb steaks, you're eating too many of them. So I told her I'm going on a 17 day water fast for spirtual reasons and did'nt eat anything yesterday so now today she's being all supportive of my new atkins plan. Haha, it's hilarious. :icondance Usually my sister and I would be tempting each other but since we're on it together, its become easier since its' somewhat like a competition.

        Sometimes I think it would be easier if I lived alone there would'nt be so much pressure... :confused


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        • #5
          For me, it is a zillion times easier now that my brothers are moved out, to be successful. No one cares what I eat or steals the foods I can have cause they didn't go shopping and are hungry. I don't have to explain why I am eating a hamburger and hard boiled egg salad-- and I don't get that stare.
          F/30

          "We know what we are, but know not what we may be."
          -Shakespeare

          "Mourn the losses because they are many, celebrate the victories because they are few." -author unknown

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          • #6
            I'm so lucky!!! My husband supports me on this WOL, but I understand what you say about family. I think that they worry that we are going to change and somehow blame them or judge them. I'm careful not to preach Atkins around my mother ... she knows I'm doing it, but she still will offer me treats when I visit her .... and I'm 52 years old!!! It never seems to change!

            When you are alone in your head, you are in a bad neighborhood.
            Start:494/current:170
            Began Atkins 1/4/2004

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            • #7
              oh man i totally know what you are talking about!!!

              funnily enough my overeating family are the most supportive and they make such a wonderfully huge deal of me only drinking coffee with cream while they eat piece upon piece of cake and ice cream, it makes it so i CANT cheat! and i love them for it

              my mom on the other hand....well she does try to sabbatoge, we went on atkins together at first and she was really strict and lost a LOT of weight and look fabulous but then she just couldn't keep up with it....i think that she found it too hard to work full time and cook for a teenage son and a husband who's idea of paradise was pizza and pasta and chips....so she stopped and now everytime i see her she always wants to feed me rice or potatoes or makes a homecoming meal of pasta and garlic bread....and i get so frustrated with her esp when she's like...well dear the only way to really lose weight is not to eat and to work out all the time...and you'll probably never loss it all anyway so eat up...(she's a doctor for gods sake you'd think she'd know better) but it's always hard for me when i am around her to stay postivie and to stay on the bandwagon.....i totally sympathise with you!
              PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
              lowcarb chitchat....

              21yrs female
              5'8"
              ** hw-200lbs /restart-176.6 /cw-168lbs/lifetime gw 135lbs**
              13lbs to go before first mini goal
              28lbs to go before South Africa
              33lbs to go for GOAL oh man oh man......



              life ain't a track meet, it's a MARATHON

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