.......Maybe It Wasn't All About The Food?

[Trying2]

On the night before last, I posted here because I was having a tough time not caving in.
Everyone, as always, was there to lend me an ear.....and I got through it just fine.
Well, last night my 26 yr. old son and DH (who just returned from being away on a business trip) were famished. They were so cute because they actually asked me if I would mind if they ordered pizza. I told them that it would be fine and I had my own dinner ready. Everything was peachy keen - that is until the pizza arrived.
I made a complete Jack *** out of myself.
I absolutely exploded and venon spewed out of my mouth about how it isn't fair! About why the **** they bought garlic knots too! Maybe they should be as diligent about eating as I am! Blah, blah, blah! You had to be there to understand.
I don't know where that came from. I am really not that kind of person and would rather hurt myself than to hurt others - especially my family.
They both literally stopped what they were doing and stared at me as I was crying and having a tirade.
It was like a momentary "out of body" type of thing and they have never seen me like that.
I stopped and realized what I was doing. All this over food - over friggin food!
I told my DH and son how sorry I was and that was that. ( We are not a screaming type of family)
I think that I hit rock bottom or something like it because when I think back now I am so mortified that I behaved that way in the first place and that food has that kind of control over me.

I was just wondering if any one else here ever actually cried while on this journey or behaved shamefully because of food. It's embarrassing to even ask, but I'd like to thimk that I'm not the only one.

[full-wit]

:hug Oh, trying2, I don't have any advice, just sympathy. Food has such a power over us at times. It's can be really scary. Maybe this is the wake up call you needed to break the pull that food has over you???

I'll be interested in hearing what others say about this subject.

[loonatika]

I just think the frustration of going without got the better of you, don't blame you either. Sometimes I just get frustrated about leaving out food groups too - like last night at work. I was hungry, so I ate the meal I'd brought in at about 4pm (roast lamb with veges). Come 7pm and I wanted food again. The only Atkin's option in the service station was peanuts, and so I had to resist crisps, chocolate, sandwiches, pies, cakes, noodles and just about everything else I felt like. Felt like throwing a tantrum as I wanted more than nuts!

Anyway, I bought the nuts and ate them. Learnt my lesson and next time I'm taking more than one meal with me for just in case. If I'd been sensible I would've remembered how all that high carb food makes me feel, but all I could think of was how good it tastes. Luckily I had the willpower to resist and once I got home, I had some atkins friendly chocolate cake and felt better.

If it's pizza you want (I realize it probably isn't, just the fact you couldn't have it), maybe try bikergoddess's recipe.

[Trying2]

Thanks guys.
You know Loona, I was thinking of making G.B's pizza, but I couldn't have meat because it was Friday during Lent.