I am your prime example of the emotional eater. When I'm feeling any emotion at all, my thoughts immediately turn to food. I feel depressed and disgusted with myself, which in turn, leads me to more food. I have been on Atkins since September. I managed to drop to 127 lbs (125 was my goal). I was feeling good for a while, but I discovered low-carb ice cream, cookies, candy, chocolate.... I just cannot use these products in moderation. The last few weeks I averaged one carton of low-carb ice cream A DAY!!. Of course, this abuse stalls my efforts and naturally, I've gained weight. I've been fooling myself by telling myself that I'm not really cheating because at least all the products I'm eating are "low-carb." It doesn't help to substitute a healthier option for the ice cream because when I finish eating that, I will still want the ice cream just as bad.
Everything worsened a weekend ago. I went camping, and totally blew it. I didn't take enough food, so I ate what was available: doughnuts for breakfast, sandwiches and chips. Once I returned from the camping trip knowing I had already messed up, I went to the grocery store and bought pizza, chocolate milk, cupcakes, cheetos. It disgusts me to admit all this, I did it in secret without telling anyone.
Well, after my binge, I decided to start over the very next day. I did it for the work week, but on the weekend, I attended an event that served hot apple cobbler with ice cream. I ate FIVE heaping platefuls of it. I feel so repulsed. After that I had a hot dog, pizza, and a brownie.
So yesterday, I started over AGAIN. I feel very depressed and ready to give up completely. I have gained back all the weight I lost during the past few months.
Even as I type this, I'm obsessing over what I can buy to eat on my way home that will make me feel better. I feel no motivation. I want to feel the way I did when I was so close to goal, but at the same time, a voice in my head says "what's the point, you'll never be happy anyway." My problem is much deeper that simple vanity. I'm an educated person, yet for years, I have allowed my weight to determine every aspect of my life. These feelings have kept me from continuing my education, seeking more opportunites in my job, and deepening my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 4 years.
Well, I read what I just typed and it sounds like I need more than this forum to fix me. But there must be people out there who have felt as desperate as I'm feeling and that have managed to fight it. Maybe just knowing that will help.
Everything worsened a weekend ago. I went camping, and totally blew it. I didn't take enough food, so I ate what was available: doughnuts for breakfast, sandwiches and chips. Once I returned from the camping trip knowing I had already messed up, I went to the grocery store and bought pizza, chocolate milk, cupcakes, cheetos. It disgusts me to admit all this, I did it in secret without telling anyone.
Well, after my binge, I decided to start over the very next day. I did it for the work week, but on the weekend, I attended an event that served hot apple cobbler with ice cream. I ate FIVE heaping platefuls of it. I feel so repulsed. After that I had a hot dog, pizza, and a brownie.
So yesterday, I started over AGAIN. I feel very depressed and ready to give up completely. I have gained back all the weight I lost during the past few months.
Even as I type this, I'm obsessing over what I can buy to eat on my way home that will make me feel better. I feel no motivation. I want to feel the way I did when I was so close to goal, but at the same time, a voice in my head says "what's the point, you'll never be happy anyway." My problem is much deeper that simple vanity. I'm an educated person, yet for years, I have allowed my weight to determine every aspect of my life. These feelings have kept me from continuing my education, seeking more opportunites in my job, and deepening my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 4 years.
Well, I read what I just typed and it sounds like I need more than this forum to fix me. But there must be people out there who have felt as desperate as I'm feeling and that have managed to fight it. Maybe just knowing that will help.

I'm back on the wagon 01/22/07. 
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