Let's discuss alternatives to Emotional Eating

[JoanOH]

Hello all,

I've been absent for several weeks due to two separate deaths of two people very important in my life -- my mother-in-law and the mother of my best friend. I've come back to try and catch up on my forums, and have been reading a recurrent theme here in the Emotional Eating forum.

"I can't stop eating."

OK, ladies (and gents if you're reading, but I believe it was females that posted these).... let's talk about this.

First, let me tell you, I *am* an emotional eater. I have the urge to eat under two specific situations: stress and boredom. The past month has been in the top 10 most stressful times of my life. But I did not cheat. I don't tell you this to brag -- I tell you this because I *know* how you feel and I want YOU to know -- IT CAN BE DONE.

We eat to comfort ourselves -- I think we all know that. Whatever the emotion is that causes you to over eat, you do the actual eating because you associate "food" with "comfort". It's been taught or displayed to us since childhood -- family gatherings, birthday parties, celebrations, funerals -- all centered around food.

But now, it's time to love ourselves and it's time to teach that old dog some new tricks! Let's use this forum to not just state our problems, but find a solution to them!

Think about the following questions and post your response to them so we can discuss them.

• What are your emotional triggers? Can you identify the emotions that make you want to eat foods for comfort? Boredom? Loneliness? Stress? Anger? Fright?
  
  Are there PEOPLE in your life that cause you to overeat or want to overeat?
  
  What SITUATIONS cause you to want to overeat?
  
  What overeating binges are simply a habit?

Post your answers to share with us.

Once several people have responded, we'll move on - and talk about finding comfort in things other than food! If you're a true emotional eater you can't simply say "STOP" because that's the same as saying "Stop having those emotions!" or "STOP feeling that way!" That's not going to happen and we all know it. The way you feel is the way you feel and it's neither right nor wrong. But there are other ways to find the comfort you need!

So answer the first set of questions and come back in a few days so we can discuss ALTERNATIVES.

Let's change "I am an emotional eater" to "I am a person with emotions"!!

Joan J

[Sarah_K]

Joan, thanks for posting this. I'm in.

What are your emotional triggers? Can you identify the emotions that make you want to eat foods for comfort? Boredom? Loneliness? Stress? Anger? Fright?

Fear and anger are the big ones for me. If I'm afraid I'll screw up, afraid that I have screwed up, or angry at myself or someone else for screwing up, I feel the urge to eat -- and the stronger the emotion, the stronger the urge.

Are there PEOPLE in your life that cause you to overeat or want to overeat?

My mother. My GF once observed that whenever I was on the phone to my mother, I made a beeline to the refrigerator and immediately started eating. I was aware at all that I was doing this(!). Now I take the cordless phone into the bedroom and talk with the door closed, FAR from the kitchen.

My favorite things to do to calm myself down other than eat...

• Play my guitar (or play the stereo)
  Take a nap
  Take a walk (just a short stroll to get me out of the house)
  Read
  Write in my journal

[Trying2]

I have overeaten ever since I can remember and managed to never gain weight in childhood, teen and young adult life. Enormous amounts for a kid my size. It was kind of a joke with my family and friends. I had written a post before that my father said that he would rather clothe me than feed me! I know now that food was merely stuffing down the emotions in me that I could not possibly describe to my family.
The past two years have taken a toll on my emotional well being.
I am an "all occasion" eater. All the things listed above is a reason to eat.

I do notice that lately a cloud of hopelessness comes over me and my thoughts tells me that I'll never succeed in this weight loss...so what's the use. I try to exchange the negatives with kinder more productive thoughts, but it is a constant battle with these feelings of hopelessness. (with regard to eating- not my life.) "GO BUY CHOCOLATE" seems to be the chant that my brain likes to yell out these days. I haven't caved in and have even been to numerous affairs. It is such a struggle.
Let me be clear, though. It is not because I'm hungry. It is simply my brain coaxing me on. I hate that feeling. HOPELESSNESS=???

My husband and kids are very supportive of me. I'm pretty fortunate.

[2soft]

Ok. Emotions that trigger eating include boredom and stress. I'm still trying to figure this out so there may be more. I also eat when I'm down. Also I'll get down about my weight, feel hopeless, and eat.

Some of the situations that trigger problem eating, well being alone is a big one. This is one that I remember as a teen. When I am alone its like the restraint is off. I also eat when I'm bored, which lately is at work. But there are social situations that will lead to eating badly as well, especially family gatherings.

There aren't any people I can think of that make me want to overeat.

The only overeating binges that are habit, if I understand correctly, is that when I get started it is difficult to stop.

I was able to maintain my weight most of my life, about 150, without a lot of work. I was never physically active, smoked from 16 to 30. About the same time I quit smoking, I moved to the midwest and met my future dh. In the 13 years since then we got married, went through infertility treatments, had a baby, more infertility drugs, baby number 2, and packed on 110 lbs. Worked the same job for the last 10 years.

[mrslee44]

This is being posted at a very good time in my life.

In the above list, SADNESS has been left out. Being sad over certain situations where other loved ones are involved causes my trigger. In 1999 I lost a loved one, my grief was so strong that I just wanted to die. But I would never kill myself, so I started eating. I tried to eat myself to death, knowing that eventually I would either stroke out or heart attack away. After years of feelings this, I met someone who made me want to live again, and I started this WOE with good results.

But now this person is about to leave my life and I find myself becoming increasingly sad and wanting to throw all to the wind and resume my normal overeating and not give a damn.

I am fully cognizant of these feelings and the trigger, so it makes dealing with the dilemna alittle easier, and to stay on the Atkins Lifestyle.

There is no easy answer for me, but my creed is

I'll just deal with one day at a time. If I fall off, the next day I'll get back on the wagon.

Robin
:hug

[Uniquely_Ambi]

Re: Let's discuss alternatives to Emotional Eating

• What are your emotional triggers? Can you identify the emotions that make you want to eat foods for comfort? Boredom? Loneliness? Stress? Anger? Fright?
  
  Are there PEOPLE in your life that cause you to overeat or want to overeat?
  
  What SITUATIONS cause you to want to overeat?
  
  What overeating binges are simply a habit?

Post your answers to share with us.

I eat for almost every reason on Earth. I eat because I'm bored, I eat because I'm depressed (I'm ALWAYS depressed), I eat because I hate myself, I eat because my family, job, and life stress me out, I eat because besides my fiance and cats I'm lonely, I eat because I don't know what else I would do.

I'm miserable because I eat and I'm miserable when I don't eat. I'm sick of always feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of wanting to hide. Sick of wondering why people don't like me and what's wrong with me.

I want to stop. I want to be normal. I went to live the Atkins way, look good, and feel good.

[JoanOH]

Amazing replies (and anyone who reads this who hasn't replied and wants to is welcome to do so!). I'm quite impressed with how honest you'all are because it's not easy to identify these emotional triggers.

I said we'd talk about alternative ways to comfort ourselves in times of those trigger emotions. But before we do that, I'd like to try one simple exercise with you. Let me say that I, too, have suffered from depression in the past, and found this exercise to be very very helpful.

So let's do this. Today is Tuesday. If you're willing, one time a day through Sunday (03/13) let's each post 5 things we're grateful for. Yes, it's the same as Oprah's Gratitude Journal! The only rule is that you cannot repeat any item from one day to the next. This exercise is meant to help you understand that there ARE good things going on in your life, even if it's as simple as the sun shining over your head. If you can't find 5 things, try hard and look for them.

Here's my 5 for today.

I am grateful:
1. That my daughter continues to be drug and alcohol free.
2. That Spring is just around the corner!
3. That my son has found a wonderful woman to marry.
4. That I truly enjoy my work at the local library.
5. That someone invented cream cheese!

OK. Your turn. Once a day, every day, up to and including Sunday.

Joan J

[mrslee44]

I'm grateful for

My twin boys - 14 and pretty good kids
My job - I love it and it pays well
This Web Site
The changes of weather
My Chocolate Lab named Cookie

I'm sure one day this week, I'll be posting, I'm grateful for the passing of my Hormonal PMS.

Robin
:hug

[2soft]

I'm grateful for:

my boys
my husband
my health, which is generally good
the diet rite I'm drinking to satisfy my sweet tooth this afternoon
this board

[Trying2]

I am grateful for:

1. How understanding my husband is.

2. The bulbs I see trying to pop through the snow.

3. That my kids seem to have grown into pretty responsible young adults. ensive

4. The cryptoquote and crossword part of the newspaper.

5. That my Penny Pup's silly antics keep me smiling even when I don't feel like it.

[Uniquely_Ambi]

I am grateful for:
1. That I'm marrying the love of my life in 5 and a half weeks.
2. I have the world's most wonderful cats.
3. I have a job.
4. This board.
5. Books!!!

[2big4mysize]

:wave :wave just thought I'd jump in to help y'all inderstand why those brains are telling you to eat those foods. the human brain has a phemoninal set of cross referenced info dealing with foods and feelings. Our brain knows what foods we ate and what we were feeling before and after and has catalogged those memories. Many foods like chocolate have chemicals that minic neutro trasmitters and can temporarily "fix a chemical imbalance and calm us or lift our mood and our subconcious wants so desperately to make us feel better. SO Dr Brain acts like a little kid oh oh oh I know the answer eat this! eat this! and we do and the chemicals work for a temporary fix and those neropathways are reinforced once again. when the chemicals are used up we are right back where we were and once again Dr Brain tells us to eat it again.

if you can identify the mood you are in and the food you want itis easier to find a non food substitute for it. For example If you are angry or stressed exercise allows you to use up those bad hormones those emotions cause in a posistive manner and releases a good neuro transmitter endorphens which calms you to. But if you are tired from lack of sleep and wanting your enrgy comfoprt food exercise will just make the situation worse. If you want chocolate the chemicals from exercise are the same and should sub nicely as your comforter.

Once you find a new comfort you need to use it reguklarly to build up the neropathways and storage referenaces to it and weaken the onces to the old food you used to use. that is where the exercise your willpower makes it stronger theory comes from.

Know you are not alone as i'd be willing to bet a large percent of the folk on this board are emotional eaters and all have trouble controlling it when the emotions run deep as you all are currently experiencing.

Happy low carbing.

[mrslee44]

Ah 2big I do love you.

What you wrote makes perfect sense.

Its worse today for me emotionally, but that craving has turned to surpressed appetite.

Lord I'll be happy when this mood passes.

Robin
:hug

[JoanOH]

Thanks, 2big. It's good to understand the WHY's of our body's need for comfort foods -- "Knowledge is power" as they say.

Today I'm grateful for:

1. Having coffee this morning with two wonderful friends.
2. A wonderful, blue sky, sunny day.
3. Watching neighborhood kids walk to school - and being able to remember my two (now grown) walking that same way.
4. Flowers - I splurged and bought 3 bouquets yesterday!
5. Fresh, clean, crisp sheets!

Joan J

[Trying2]

This Wednesday on the 9th of March, I am grateful for:

1. The bunny in my yard this morning.

2. My warm toasty sweat pants & sweat shirt. ( It's 15 degrees out!)

3. My daughter suggesting to wear my wedding dress if it fits her.

4. The super great flower catalogue that came in the mail. ( Great prices)

5. The call from a good friend who cares enough about me to keep calling even though I decline most of her invitations to go out.


Thanks JoanO for starting this post.
Thanks 2Big for popping up everywhere and sharing.