HELP ME!!

[iyamamaschke]

I am stuck at this horrid weight I am depressed I am frusturated this is a big step for me to tell you all this but, I haven't been exercising it's like a part of me is lost right now and I don't know what to do to get it back. I have no desire to do anything I have no desire to even make myself pretty though I really want to be pretty. Here I am almost 7 months cheat free I am stuck I know the exercise would help me get unstuck I just don't feel modivated at all to accomplish anything. I think I am depressed. I don't know why I am this way I have done well lost weight everything I have been here telling people the importnace of loving oneself and right now I don't.

PLEASE help me Please. This is not a normal thing for me My doc just wants to put me on drug but, every time I go on them I get out of control gain weight and feel worse there has to be something natural I can take to help me out. Maybe mega B vitamins or somehting.

Sarah

[Piasabird]

Hi Sarah! :wave

How long have you felt depressed? Is this just a blue funk that you've recently found yourself in? As someone who's been on and off of anti depressants many times through the years, I know that it does no good to tell someone who is truly depressed to snap out it. You can't just do it on your own.

I think it would be very difficult for someone from ADBB to help you. I wonder if you can find counseling where you are. I think you might need someone to talk to. Sometimes just talking about things can help. They would be in a better position to give you the real support that you need. And they can evaluate whether or not you should be taking meds again.

I'm not sure if all meds cause you to gain weight. I do know that Paxil was one of them that caused me to gain. Zoloff was a good one for me. Some people swear by St. John's Wart as a natural anti depressant. I believe that on the back of the bottle it has to read 0.3% Hypericin. But, I'm suggesting that first you try to find a professional counselor. They can help you sort things out. They can give you self help exercises to do.

Please do give it a try. :hug

[Esther]

Sarah - I'm not really sure what to say as I don't really know what all your problems are.

Perhaps you're trying *too* hard, setting yourself impossible standards and then getting frustrated for not acheiving them all. Perhaps it's time to just step back a bit and concentrate on things which will help you relax. When I was depressed (it was only very mild) the drugs never helped me at all, but there are more natural things. Have you tried St John's Wort? Loads of people swear by it, though despite the claims that there were no known side effects it gave me nightmares...

Perhaps give yourself a week on a really relaxing, self-indulgent 'detox', concentrating on relaxation, gentle meditation, yoga, tai-chi, that sort of thing. Tai Chi is like a moving meditation with absolutely no emphasis on performing the moves 'well' or 'correctly' - you just do them as it feels right to you, and I personally find it really relaxing and amazingly de-stressing. Studying a little about Tao - the 'theory' of Tai Chi - has helped me alter my outlook on life a lot, too, and helps keep everything in perspective. Another great thing (though it sounds pretty whacky) is one of those mandala colouring meditation books. It kind of relaxes you while keeping your mind just busy enough and bringing out a rather artistic side of your nature (my nature is usually *far* from artistic and this side of me needs all the help it can get").

But most of all, remember this *WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!* Whatever your problems are, they have a solution, it's just a question of finding it! If you can't find it, you have to take a step back and allow your body and mind to heal themselves as best they can until you *do* find it.

Good luck Sarah!

[iyamamaschke]

Thank you soo much I am one of the few who takes the antidepressants and they don't do anything for me I have been on about 5 different kinds and withing 2 months have always gone off cause they make me feel worse. I will try the st John wart and see how things go. I am usually Pretty good I seem to get this way about once per year I don't know if it's a cycle my body goes though or what. I went for a walk for 30 minutes and it seems to have helped. I think the big thing is I am overwhelmed and my body is shutting down caue everything is just too much for me at the moment. I look after 2 extra kids evenings weekends so really when do I get time for me NEVER. I have 3 little ones with me 24/7 and I don't have a me break which so many take for granted. I think that is a lot of my problem. I don't have time for that when I make time for exercise it is always that I have children around me I don't get to be by myself. EVER. Hubby works away all the time when he is home he is too tired and also he has no patience. Usuually we will go out and he takes off and I am left to deal with the kids yet again.

I am sorry here I am emotional and crying telling you about all the things I never drreamed but, I need to and this is helping I need to heal and have a good chat with my husband.

Sarah

[spirittalker]

Yes you definitely need some me time Sarah. Even if it's just an hour a week you must be able to get away from the children and husband. When your primary responsibility is to nurture everyone else you are left with nothing if you do not nurture yourself. Go into the bathroom with a good book and lock the door and make DH watch the kids. Or put the kids to bed and do that. Just definitely fit yourself in there somewhere sweety.

[Richard6310]

Sarah,

I would say something is up. At one point, you were all fired up, now you are just the opposite. Sometimes depression is caused a person's external environment, and how we dont or do deal with situations that we are facing. Depression just like anything else has triggers, imo. Find out what they are, write them down if you have too, and them find some way to deal with them, if you dont want to go back on meds. I would wager to say that your well being is more important at this point. If you need meds, dont fight it. I dont think that you would gain a whole lot of weight if you stuck with atkins. At any rate, you could kick back in when you feel better.

Just my 2 cents.

[xmo4le]

I won't try to come to a conclusion about your situation darlign because only you really know what's going on when you take a deep breath and look inside yourself. Use that to grasp exactly what it is that is making you feel this way. Unconscious issues that are lurking about can sometimes interfere and have an effect on our everyday lives.

You're beautiful and smart.
You're strong and capable.

You'll be fine :hug

[ttdriver]

Sarah, you strike me as a person very much like myself: an overachiever, perfectionist, control freak. That was a direct quote given to me by a counselor ... at first I got ANGRY when he said it, then I realized (slowly) that he was right.

I've been on Effexor since last December which has really helped me. I've tried to relax my expectations of myself which has been very difficult because I want to be a perfectionist ... do everything right; be all things to all people, etc.

I think, while those qualities are nice to have, they can drive us 'over the edge' to the point of burnout. That was my situation totally. I tried to solve everyone else's issues while ignoring my own. I set expectations of myself that weren't realistic and then got bummed when I fell short.

Bottom line: It took 3 months on disability for me to realize that I had to put limits on my own expectations of myself. I can't say I'm there YET, but I've made huge strides in limiting how much I take on. I have learned to recognize when I am stepping 'over the line' and then I throw up the red flag and say NO MORE.

I actually ended up in the psych unit of a hospital because I had no clue how to put limits on myself ... that is history now and I can say I have learned alot through the help of counselors and medications and good books ...

I know I am NOT the center of the universe, nor the one who has to hold up my company single-handedly. I know that NOTHING is worth losing my sanity over .. not even if its a worthwhile goal. I simply cannot take on more .. I have to have a better grasp on my own limitations. I have to take care of myself.

I see alot of those same symptoms in you, hon. You need time to take a step back. Consider getting some counseling to help you with your 'over-achieving' mentality. Recognize that you are not capable of being all things to all people. That you have a 'breaking point' ... and when you approach it, STOP.

Life is short; don't make it shorter by taking on more than you are capable of. Trust me, that leads nowhere good. You need to go easy on yourself for awhile. Once you feel you are strong again, then SLOWLY increase your exercise or whatever is zapping your strength. Just know WHEN to say WHEN.

Your mental health is at stake.

I love ya hon!!

Betty

[iyamamaschke]

Thank you BETTY you are right exactly right, I am a perfecionist overachiever I want to be perfect and I can't. I can't do all the things I want to do and to tell you the truth it drives me crazy not being able to do everything. I need a break and that is reality I need to do a lot of things I also need to learn to vent my frusturations wheather it be by talking or by screaming at the top of my lungs into the wind.

I did see a counsellor back when my baby was only 2 months old but, now that I am here it's almost impossible for me to be able to go and see one mainly because of my children they are all still at home and I don't have the money to pay 12 dollars an hour for a sitter for all 3. That may not seem like a lot but, to my family it is a lot and we bairly get by as it is.

I am going to start to draw again it sets me at piece I draw my energy into my pictures and I constanly only draw LOVE cause I seek love so in all my pictures there is Love and this is the way I express myslef.

Time to get out the pad and charcoal and start to stimulate my sences it's a way of calming myself and I love to do it.

Sarah

[divaindubai]

Sarah

I'm sorry you are feeling down! What if you put your drawing focus on your weight loss journey and achievements. I mean c'mon you managed to lose all this weight with all that stress around you, kids and all and still lost weight! I know it takes more motivatio to exercise at home or without going to a gym. For me, my husband bought me an eclyptical machine and I made myself a workout tape with all favourite fast songs on it. It really motivates me to workout. Is there a time you can wake up early in the morning (earlier than the babies) and workout? What about when they are napping? Or even at night time after they are sleeping? Believe me I know it is hard. I am gone from the house every day from 7:45 a.m to 7 pm usually by the time we get home (with my husband and younger son) from work and the only solution for me to exercise was to purchase this machine. At first I didn't use it, but then I forced myself to. While you are exercising it feels great the adrenaline is pumping through the system with the seratonin i believe, makes you feel good.
I'm sure you will be able to feel better and motivated about exercising..

Hope my comments help you and others comments too!
:hug

[JENELYNN76]

Sarah
I know how it feels to be stuck at home with a child. It is very hard to exercise with hearing the word mommy out of her mouth every minute..lol. I'm checking into a gym I can go to that has free childcare there so I can have some kind of time to myself during the day. I know its hard to get motivated when your depressed. I was the money maker in my family until I got accepted into a RN program then I had to stop working. It very stressful not having the bills paid on time and having to depend on my boyfriend to pay the bills..which I might say they dont all get paid..lol. Plus I use to be a neat freak and now i'm like I giv eup on the house. I figured it out because I'm a perfectionist to it wa to much anxiety trying to keep up with the house and school I just gave up on the house. If I didn't I proabley have a nervous breakdown!! I hope you feel better and if you been depressed more than 2 weeks I go see your doctor. Depression is something everyone will expereince once in their life.

[iyamamaschke]

I'm feeling a lot better today guess who showed up TOM my hormones are so messed up it's 6 days early I wasn't expecting it till around the 4th well surprise and it's bad YUCK I also gained 11 overnight so TOM is really nasty this time. WHen I retain so much I know my estrogen is way off the chart. Which causes depression, anxiety, moodswings etc etc. NO WONDER this is the worst one since starting this WOE so maybe my body is releasing fat and estrogen right now and I will have a WHOOSH. That would be nice.

Sarah

[jroche5998]

That's the way to look at it. Analyze it to pieces. I forgot that estrogen is stored in fat. No wonder you've been so down.

I'm glad your feeling better.

[cajunthunder]

Hi Sarah,

Sending you a BIG cyber hug.... :hug

Might I suggest that you try the supplement SAMe for your depression?

I know quite a few people it has helped, and quite a few dogs who had temperament issues that it helped, including one of my own!

Iherb.com has great prices, http://iherb.com/sammy1.html

Here's a link to a good article explaining how SAMe helps depression.

http://smart-drugs.net/depression-SAMe.htm

Check with churches in your area, as many have programs called Mothers Day Out where you drop off your kids for a few hours or for the day, so you can have free time.

Good luck and keep the faith. :yes

[iyamamaschke]

Thanks all for your support I am going to win this I just need to look at it differently as a growing experience. If it came off fast and easy I wouldn't appreciate it as much as I do my weight loss is like gold and I cherish every pound cause I know I work hard for every single one. Nothing comes easy I have to work at it every day and this is what makes me stronger every day. Being cheat free almost 7 months now that is a testiment to my determination and my wanting to succeed.

Sarah