Addicted to Self-Sabatoge

[amandajean1]

I know that I am not in this alone, but I do know that if I don't talk about it, I'll end up doing it again just like i've done for the past few years. I would lose 20 pounds, and without even realizing it, I stopped everything I was doing and gained it all back....and then some. I even started in on the self-sabatoge while on Atkins, it only took me three days to realize what I was doing, but it was long enough. I started in on the "oh I can have a carb food every once in a while...." without properly switching to OWL. Oh no no no. Once I caught myself, I slapped my hand, and went straight back to "Day 1, Induction" Mode. And I've been doing very, very well since then. But I also imagine I am not alone in this. Perhaps other peoples stories about how they deal with it will help

The best part (sarcasm) is when I tried to talk to my mother about it to get some advice, she just laughed at me. Saying there was no way I was sabatoging myself. I know I am though. I think I am scared of what I may "become" when I'm healthier, skinnier, more attractive. I think that thought process is going away because I have someone I love, and he's with me now - and he fully supports what I am doing, but never makes me feel like he'll end it if I don't get healhty. But even though I have him, and I am confident in our relationship, obviusly it's not that easy to stop the self-sabatoge because it was even while I was with him that I had my latest episode. I think ackloweldging it is one of the best things I can do for myself though.

So. Here we go...


I am a sabatoge my weight loss success.


Much better.

[blondie1974]

Re: Addicted to Self-Sabatoge

I feel almost the same way....EXCEPT I do know what I'm doing. I make excuses and more excuses. My sister believes that I have a compulsive disorder, like she does. Shes on meds and is losing slowly on a low fat diet. I know I have this problem but I don't want to be put on medication. It's like I'm fighting with myself....in my head.
I am so compulsive that I will do the test strips about 10-15 times a day to make sure I'm in ketosis. I also will sometimes avoid food altogether and then when I do that I will grab the first thing in sight.
I can understand you and hope that it gets better for both of us. Sorry I can't help, but at least you know that someone does understand