Pregnancy For Dummies?

[Effie]

Hi all,
I'm not pregnant, and not even thinking about getting pregnant, but I am thinking about thinking about getting pregnant.

I'm sure I have maternal instincts hidden down deep somewhere, but until I see them, I'm scared to death. I don't like holding other people's babies, I refer to children as "it" instead of "he" or "she", I can't tell the difference between a 5 month old and a 2 year old (seriously, when do they start walking? I have no idea!!).

What I want to know is are there any resources out there like a "pregnancy for dummies" book? (Ok, I just checked...According to www.amazon.com, there really IS a Pregnancy for Dummies book.) Does anyone have any recommendations besides this book? I think I need something that will prepare me for getting pregnant instead of dealing with the pregnancy itself. For example, when is the best time to get pregnant? I know I learned this in 6th grade health, but I'll be damned if I know it now. Maybe I need "Menstruation for Dummies".

Signed,
Helpless in Massachusetts Who Will Probably End Up Eating Her Young

[womanpraised]

Re: Pregnancy For Dummies?

Oh Effie... I had a friend like that, who was NOT mommy minded, and she got preggers by accident. She LOVES her son, the instincts came on stronger and stronger as she futhered her pregnancy, and hit with full force when she delivered...

She STILL doesnt like other kids though, LOL... No joke.

Just thinking wiht my fingers... And that you may be over worrying...

Blessings..
kimberly

[shelbyquinn03079]

Re: Pregnancy For Dummies?

Don't worry it is different when it is your own baby. You could just go buy yourself what to expent when you are expecting & what to expect the first year and read them just to give you more info if it makes you comfortable. YOu can also just read through a lot of stuff on babycenter.com. Try and make yourself spend more time with kids in your family and that your friend's have. It is different but it may help you feel more comfortable around them if you make yourself hold them, play with them etc... Fake it till ya make it ya know.

Babies on average walk between 9-13 months but many are later and a few are earlier.

Again, on average they said you ovulate 14 days from the start of your last period. Its tough though because not everyone has a perfect 28 day cycle (I know I don't). You can buy a book on it or again look on some of the pregnancy sites. Keep track of your cycle and you can enter the info in to the online ovualtion calculators. They have one on babycenter also. If just timing the days doesn't work than you can always get the ovulation sticks and folow the directions.

Don't worry you would be fine. It is very hard to imagine what you will be like when you have no idea what to expect. Plus, no matter how much you can imagine it will be different than you think. It is a lot of work but for a lot of people it is the best thing that they ever did. I know it is for me although my daughter is only 14 months old and I am due in January so even though I have one I am scared myself. lol

[Dawn]

Re: Pregnancy For Dummies?

I got such a kick out of your post. It reminded me so much of one of my good friends. She knew she wanted kids one day, but just wasn't the "maternal" type. She also wanted to make sure her pregnancy and birth didn't mess up her softball schedule! LOL She finally decided one day it was time for a kid (after softball season) got preggo right away and had a baby girl the beginning of spring. We all got her the books and stuff to help her, but I think she just winged it.

There are so many resouces out there and conception bulletin boards for ladies who are considering trying for a baby and/or actively trying to conceive. There's also tons of stuff at the library including video tapes showing the process.

Don't worry... for most of us, once we hear the heartbeat, see the ultrasound and feel movement the maternal instinct kicks in. It seems like a lifetime away to you right now, but when you become pg, hopefully you will begin to feel like a mommy.

Good luck!

Dawn

[Kisseslikepearls]

Re: Pregnancy For Dummies?

My dormmate got pregnant last December and I bought her "Why Pregnancy Suck..." and "Why Pregnancy Sucks for Men...." They were really really really down to earth. Told you all the things that alot of the other pregnancy books glossed over. Like in later stages of pregnancy its entirely possible/probable/normal for your nipples to leak a couple drops of blood. Yes, kinda scary, but at the very least so you won't be running to the doctor every 2 seconds--you'll expect it. You're going to be running to the doctor every 4 seconds out of mandatory appointments anyways.

And I really really really (how many times can I say "really"?) hope that all the women here are correct. I'm still pregnant (don't know if that's a good thing or not) and outside of nasuea that I thought was morning sickness (really from kidney stones---see why I don't go to the doctor!! He always finds something!!) I haven't really felt pregnant. I know I am, but I don't feel it. Hopefully that'll change!!! And soon!

[Iapetus999]

Re: Pregnancy For Dummies?

What about "How to get Pregnant for Dummies?"

Here's the thing I've learned as the father:
Maternal instincts or not, you need to learn from your baby as much or more than he/she learns from you. Some moms also go thru some kind of post-partum depression which makes them not want to deal with the baby. That makes it super-important to have a support network where someone can watch the baby a couple hours a week.

It can take a few weeks for the baby to really interact with you instead of acting like a pooping nursing crying machine.
I had some weird feelings at first like the baby was some kid we were taking care of. He didn't feel like "my kid."
It takes a while to really feeling connected like I do now (prolly sooner for women) but don't expect a real strong connection a first.
Some of my kid's personality goods all the way back to childbirth so it's interesting to see how it's grown over the years.

It may be scary and tiring the first few weeks, then it turns into routine, then it turns into family.