Whats wrong with me??????

[Twisti]

Loss of child mentioned.....

Sensitive issues......
















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On the 22nd will be 10 months since Andrew died...10 months which seems like a life time to me sometimes...this morning the funeral (sp?) home called saying theyve got "Little Andrews" Death Cert...they messed up some info on the first one, so we had to get a second...he wanted to make sure we still live at the address they had...

Why have I been crying all day????? Hes been gone 10 months, and ive finally started accepting it....but now I feel like im back at the beginning...I blame myself so much for so much of it...did i take too much Tylenol? did i take my insulin right? did i not get enough sleep? what did i do?????? did i not want him anough? did i not deserve him? Grrrr it makes me mad to rethink and rethink about all of this....i did it 10 months ago after he was gone, why am i doing it again???? What about this baby? am i doing this right? am i doing that right? do i deserve this baby? do i want it bad enough? do i need to sell God on the idea of me being mommy to this little one? I think being on bedrest is just adding to this...i dont do anything all day long but lay there, reading and thinking and thinking and thinking...I just want this pregnancy to be over with so I will know if this baby is going to make it or not...sound strange? thanks for letting me babble....

[2big4mysize]

:hug :hug :hug :hug

no your wanting that new little baby out healthy doesn't sound strange to anybody.

you have every right to cry over the death of Andrew any time you want to then you toss in those prego hormones and will you knoe from all your other pregs that preg ladies are a bundle of emotions.

You can't sell it to God and it sounds like you haven't given it to him either. Once you give a problem to God you aren't supposed to be an indian giver and tsake it back and worry and fret more over it. Either you believe that God will do what is right by you and your new little one or your don't.

Woulda coulda shoulda will not alter one thing in the world nor undo anything from our pasts. SO just relax follow your docs orders, do the things you can control like your eating and blood sugar management and don't fret about the things you can't control cause I'm sure your doctor has talked with you about the effects of stress hormones on your health!

HAppy low carbing and stay in bed!

Happy low carbing.

[Dawn]

I totally think what is happening is normal. Not only are you on bedrest and more hormonal, but dealing with the death of a child... it has to be very stressful.

We are here for you whenever you need support or someone to talk too. Take care of yourselves.

I will be keeping you in my prayers.

dawn

[Betty]

I agree with 2Big, and Dawn. You just take care of yourself, and Bug.

[pluorvee]

ive been sitting here crying for a few hours or my child that i lost almost 2 years ago (in june)

there is nothing wrong with being sad. You will never 'get over' your baby passing but things will get better. If this is something that continues you can talk to your doctor about it. there are things that you can take while pg that will make you feel better. I had to take something for awhile.

((HUG))

good luck

[Sharni]

:hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug

[momof3]

I just recently lost a baby at 17 weeks. It's been almost 3 months and I feel like I'll never get over it. I think we will always grieve for our lost angels. My best friend and I were pregnant together and now I have watched her continue to grow and it's heartwrenching for me. I am going to be at her birth because I know she needs me there, but it will be a hard reminder of what I've lost. There are always going to be things to remind us. Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. :hug :hug :hug