Older Humor Thread....

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

I greatly enjoyed Black Adder as well.

Q

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

Health & Fitness - Old Age - Bambi George and Harriet were married twenty-five years. They decided to celebrate with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt, became very friendly. George brushed her off rather rudely. Harriet objected, "George, she was nice, that young woman, and you were so rude." "Harriet, she's a prostitute." "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing? "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for Bambi to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?" She did. Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. "So, I see you're interested after all," she said. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price." "Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. "I just can't believe it." George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment and then said, "How old would you be if you let go?"

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....




Senior Citizen Barbie...you don't wanna know what happened to Ken.

Q

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....




Yup...I had the same problem for awhile. I was "undertall".

Q

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

The Airplane Ride

Bill and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year Bill would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that airplane."

Martha always replied, "I know Bill, but that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars."

One year Bill and Martha went to the fair and Bill said, "Martha, I'm 81 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance."

Martha replied, "Bill, that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 10 dollar Bill and Martha agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Bill replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10 dollars is 10 dollars."

[Qjakal]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

An 80-year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor is amazed
at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great
physical condition?"

I'm a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape.
I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to
it. How old was your dad when he died?"

"Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still
alive. How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old," says the old golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this
morning, and that's why he's still alive. He's a golfer too."

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it
than that. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your
grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?"

"He's 118 years old," says the old golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went
golfing with you this morning too?"

"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why
would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

[sallyseachange]

Re: Older Humor Thread....

Love that last one!!!