Almost Cried..

[LoserLeah]

Seriously, it's kind of funny. I'm sure it's a mixture of PMS and Induction Blue's... but for last few days everyone around me has been offering food or eating junk foods like Oreo's. Well, last night my mother forced us to stay at her house for dinner since my grandparents were coming into town. (We live like, 2 houses away from my parents) Anyway, my mom is making my favorite meal, lasagna. I wanted to leave, but every time I attempted to I got a total guilt trip. Seriously, making people's plates, putting butter on their bread, it was like torture. But, in my mind I kept thinking... "Leah, that lasagna may make you happy for a moment, and then later you'll feel like crap and have to start all over again, do you REALLY want to do that... especially now that you are at an all time low weight in the past year???" I did it. I didn't give in. I had a glass of water while every one ate, and left a short time later. I seriously think if I can make it through that... I can make it through anything. I got on the scale this morning and it read 303.5. I'm almost to twoterville. I'm not going to let ANYTHING hold me back. I NEVER want to be over 300 pounds again.

So, have any of you had similar things happen? I mean, I almost cried (or at least felt like I was mourning a piece of lasagna) over food. If that doesn't show an addiction, I don't know what does!

[skinnyby25]

Re: Almost Cried..

I just wanted to CONGRATULATE you on your dedication to a healthier life! I know it's so hard to resist, especially if it's your favorite food. It's obviously working because I see you've lost 34 pounds! You're doing awesome! I'm sure that if you had eaten that piece of lasagna, we'd be reading a totally different post. "I cheated.....I feel so bad for myself.....It's too hard....." Trust me, I've written more of those kinds of entries than anything. Reading your entry is really an inspiration to people like me with no self control!

Keep it up! I hope you'll write more of these positive posts!

/KIM

[womanpraised]

Re: Almost Cried..

Leah, that is AMAZING... and just think how easy it would have been to give in, and you STILL did it!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO....

I would think you deserve a reward this weekend,,, a manicure, going to see a movie, some new funky socks.. YAY for YOU!

[latte]

Re: Almost Cried..

Way to go!!!!!!

[kbuchs]

Re: Almost Cried..

You are AMAZING! I actually just went to a birthday party and everyone around me was eating pizza and icecream cake...I LOVE icecream! I made sure I ate first so hunger didn't factor into the temptation and at the party while everyone drank their beer, I sipped club soda. It was hard but I was so proud of myself! I agree- do something nice for yourself- you deserve it!

Also, I live above my grandparents and they are always trying to guilt me into eating whatever cake or sweet treat they have. And let me tell you they ALWAYS have several things available. Sweets is my weak link and it's hard to resist sometimes (mostly when TOM visits) but other times I don't even miss them. Anyway, I am also a bit of a people pleaser and would question myself- I'll just have a little to shut her up but I am an addict and I can't "just have a little" so I have gotten used to disappointing my grandparents when I don't join them in the feast but for awhile now I have been learning to put myself first. And that is what you have to do. Maybe next time you can go home make yourself a quick salad, return, and eat that with them. Afterall if you live close to her, than she can miss you for ten minutes to do what you gotta do for yourself and if she can't- she'll get used to it! Although she'll continue to push it like my grandparents. Goodluck!

[RunAwayMichelle]

Re: Almost Cried..

I am so proud of you, thank you for sharing your experience. I feel so much stronger just by reading about what you have accomplished. It's amazing how much your parents sound like mine. Food and quilt and control all tied up together.

One thing I can share with you is that my daughter is very good at making sure I do not fall into my mother's patterns of quilt and control. All she has to say to me is "Mom don't quilt me!" It always shocks me into stopping and thinking about what I'm doing. I don't know if it would work with your mom, but you might want to try it. Setting boundarys with family is hard but you have a much better relationship for it. I was always afraid to set boundarys with my parents and we have a terrible relationship. At 48 they still treat me like child. But my daughter and I have a wonderful relationship, because she always lets me know when I cross her boundaries and I love and respect her enough to back off. We have learned to be friends and have evolved an adult relationship. I like knowing where I stand with her instead of quessing what she is feeling, or worse running rough shod over her feelings without realizing it.

Good luck with your parents and congratulations on your victory over L*****a.

[vixie123]

Re: Almost Cried..

Yup, twoterville is definately in your near future! If you can stand up to lasagna, you can stand up to anything! Its really hard, especially when someone is using the stove or oven and there's just no where you can go to escape the sent! My sister and her boyfriend are staying with me and they make chocolate chip cookies all the time. I can smell them all the way up the stairs. Its a lot easier, now that I've been doing this WOL for a while. I dont know if I would have resisted in the beginning.

One day at a time,

V.