Very Upset

[coolchange]

I don't know why I let what people say bother me and I really don't know why I can so easily go into a food binge tailspin. I was picking my daughter up from mother's day out this afternoon and as I was walking down the hallway two little girls (in pre-K) were sitting outside a classroom with a teacher. One of the girls said "oh there is that fat girl" as I walked by. I didn't even respond, just kept walking. I heard their teacher say (after I had passed and she realized who they were talking to) "that was not nice to say." I had tears in my eyes as I walked into my daughter's classroom and my voice was cracking as I talked to my daughter's teacher about her day. I feel silly writing this cause after all they were just two little girls whom I'm sure didn't mean anything by it...but the comment hurt deeply all the same. It just reminded me of all the comments over the years people have made about my weight to my face and behind my back. Whispers I have heard as I walk by someone in a grocery store or wherever...the looks you sometimes get. I have turned into such a good actor, pretending it doesn't bother me and that I didn't hear what was said. Of course I went off plan big time...I must do this to soothe myself somehow, but I always end up feeling worse. I evidently need to deal with this or I will never lose weight. I'm still emotional writing this and I'm not sure if any of this makes sense...I'm just writing it all out. Thanks for listening.

[loriv19]

Re: Very Upset

Hey Cool,

Your screen name tells me all I need to know. You are a wonderful, caring and warm hearted person. I know it's easier said than done but don't let the words hurt you anymore. You are better than that. You do not have to accept the pain that someone trys to subject you too. You can and should tell them "be careful", what goes around comes around. Carma, it's a wonderful thing.

As for your plan on Atkins. You hang in there girl. You can do this, just like I'm going to hang in and do it because we are doing it for us. Because we know that we are worth it and regardless of what the sad lonely sourhearted people say, we can hold our heads high and say, "I am better than you and I will not allow myself to sabatage my goals because of your pettyness".
Find a friend and get and give a hug and if you haven't anyone close by, you just come on over here to ADBB and we'll give you a great big group hug. {{{{Because you ARE worth it.}}}}}

[softnred]

Re: Very Upset

I've totally been there...the whispers, the remarks...boy, have I been there. Sometimes I'm still there.

But wasn't it Eleanor Roosevelt that said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission?" That includes little kids. We're in control of our feelings, and if we let someone make us feel bad, then we're giving them WAY too much power over our lives and our emotions.

In some ways, I've become much more assertive about my rights as a person. If that had happened to me, I probably would have spun around and walked back to those girls. I wouldn't have chewed them out or yelled...I would have nicely pointed out that remarks like that can make someone feel really sad, and do they want to make someone feel bad?? Sometimes just the act of walking up to someone and nicely confronting them is shock enough to get them to think again before they open their mouths.

We KNOW that you're very cool and more than worthy of love and respect---simply because you're here, and you're working to improve yourself. We're here for you!!

~JoAnne

[Lady_Hawke]

Re: Very Upset

{{{HUGS}}}

[Jasmain]

Re: Very Upset

Don't let them get you down, make them eat their words.

[BoxerMom]

Re: Very Upset

I'm so sorry about your day and the cruel remarks.

[cleochatra]

Re: Very Upset

I have had kids say that to me! You know what you say to someone like that?

"I give the best hugs!"; or,

"God loved me so much He had me Super-Sized".

Or I'd say, "I'm this big because I ate the last kid who said I was fat".








{{{cool change}}} Little kids say things like that. They don't think. Offer to eat one next time.

[softnred]

Re: Very Upset

oooooooooooooh.....I LOVE those ideas better than mine!!!

I have had kids say that to me! You know what you say to someone like that?

"I give the best hugs!"; or,

"God loved me so much He had me Super-Sized".

Or I'd say, "I'm this big because I ate the last kid who said I was fat".








{{{cool change}}} Little kids say things like that. They don't think. Offer to eat one next time.

[Desertthorn]

Re: Very Upset

Leave it to Cleo to come up with the best come backs
Don't mind little kids, they always ask me if I am a Giant. (I'm 5'11)

[Momtofour]

Re: Very Upset

Cleo, you just crack me up!!!

((((HUGS))) I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. Kids are sometimes a little too blunt. My daughter told me awhile ago that my butt was just fat now, not huge. Thanks!!!

You can turn this all around. You're back on plan and on your way to a healthier life.

[coolchange]

Re: Very Upset

You are all so awesome! Thanks for the hugs, laughs, advice....the support on this board really makes it rock! I work nights and have had 3 hours of sleep since Sunday 2pm, so that is probably why I got so emotional about everything. Back to the drawing board. Joanne, I have heard of that Eleanor Roosevelt quote before and am thinking of making it part of my signature. I need to remember that each and every day. Hugs to you all~!

[dreamof145]

Re: Very Upset

HUGS to you. I understand your pain and have been there myself. It hurts to be treated like that. Although I've never forgotten the remarks that I've heard about myself, I used them to strengthen my committment to myself to change. I hope that you can also turn this negative experience into fuel for the fire that will ignite your desire to make Atkins work for you.

Keep doing the plan and soon you will see yourself get smaller and more confident. We are all here for you and understand what you are saying. Never feel that you can't share how you feel here, cause we've all been there and surround you with cyber-hugs and motivation to keep going.

[Mary-chan]

Re: Very Upset

I think everyone in this forum knows that feeling all too well. I think it affects many of us so deeply that we become so afraid of hearing that word "fat" coming out of people's mouths. I think many of us change how we act and who we are because of this fear. Like if Im' especially nice and generous or just sit here and don't talk, then noone will say that word to me. If I become ascertive or disagree with them on something, then they might use the dreaded word,... So I just disappear and noone seems to notice. I've always wished I could just not be affected by these words, but of course we all are whether we admit it or not.

I was writing down a list of reasons I want to lose weight the other day, and these were two of them I'll share here..

1) So I don’t have to “play the part” of the fat girl – quiet, self conscious, extra sweet, non-intimidating – but can say what I really feel.
2) So the first thing people think about when they meet me isn’t my size

Even if I don't hear people calling me that word very often, I know it's the first thing people think about when they see me. For the last three years, I've avoided places with crowds or people I didn't know because I knew it was all people saw when they looked at me. I am always uncomfortable around young children because they say whatever pops into their head, and I was always afraid of them saying something like that to me. I'm still afraid of that word.

I wish I could tell you an easy way to take the power back from everyone. Really it is up to us how we feel when we hear that word. I'm afraid I haven't been a very good example, looking back at my life the past few years I wish I had been stronger though and can tell you what I would do now If I could go back and do things over.

The people who say these things won't remember us past that day probably, but sadly we will always remember them. My suggestion would be.. don't pretend it doeesn't hurt, we all know it hurts no matter where it comes from. Give yourself 5 minutes.. 10 minutes.. or whatever.. to be sad about it.. Analyze how you feel.. write it down in a journal.. do something to givve yourself some time to think about it.. once you're done make the decision to not give it another thought. If you feel it creeping back into your thoughts, tell yourself you already thought it over and are done thinking about it.

Anyway that is just a suggestion. We have all been there, you're not alone.
Always come talk about it here when you need to!!

[2big4mysize]

Re: Very Upset

kids are very honest with their descriptive words. Just think by the end of term they will be saying there goes that used to be fat girl and you will be walking on air.

[goin2Bgood]

Re: Very Upset

I'm sorry Coolchange, words sure can be hurtful. I do like Cleo's replies though