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This was the first Christmas gift I ever gave my wife five years ago. I recall all through that year she would tell me how horrid she was. I, of course, didn't see any of it.
I just came across it while going through our dresser's "misc junk" drawer. I can't help but to think about how much I have changed in five years. I have lost some of the fiery obstinance and even the brunt of my negative feelings towards those who used to pick on me has dulled now. I don't hate them anymore. I still marvel at how special my wife is to take me. I was an emotional mess after years of abuse by peers.
The reason I decided to share this is because tonight as I was reading it I answered my own question. I often ask myself why my wife (Heather) stays with me. This is usually when I am feeling disgustingly fat and such. When I read my feelings for her in print, I discovered that she must feel something very similar for me.
Blinded (by Brandon Beard)
If you can take a look at me,
you’ll see that I am blind,
to all the flaws and all you say,
you cannot leave behind.
I cannot see the tiny lines,
that blight your smile and eyes,
nor can I hear your bitter words,
your fibs or outright lies.
I do not see these blemishes,
that you insist are there,
from pocks and bags and cottage cheese,
to gnappy grungy hair.
I do not feel the massive load,
this burden of our child,
and do not know how you could think,
on me all this you’ve piled.
It does not rend my very soul,
that men have made you grim,
in fact it leaves me still in awe,
that you can bank on them.
And though I seem to lack in trust,
the only thing I’ve feared,
is that one day you will not wish,
to be called Heather Beard.
So do not fret on my harsh words,
or my attempts to fight,
for if you wake then me you’ll spot,
at your side every night.
Take not to heart my rage and hate,
or anger that I show,
but know instead that in my soul,
your seeds of love do grow.
You planted them so long ago,
and though you never knew,
they blinded me to everything,
except my love for you.
I just came across it while going through our dresser's "misc junk" drawer. I can't help but to think about how much I have changed in five years. I have lost some of the fiery obstinance and even the brunt of my negative feelings towards those who used to pick on me has dulled now. I don't hate them anymore. I still marvel at how special my wife is to take me. I was an emotional mess after years of abuse by peers.
The reason I decided to share this is because tonight as I was reading it I answered my own question. I often ask myself why my wife (Heather) stays with me. This is usually when I am feeling disgustingly fat and such. When I read my feelings for her in print, I discovered that she must feel something very similar for me.
Blinded (by Brandon Beard)
If you can take a look at me,
you’ll see that I am blind,
to all the flaws and all you say,
you cannot leave behind.
I cannot see the tiny lines,
that blight your smile and eyes,
nor can I hear your bitter words,
your fibs or outright lies.
I do not see these blemishes,
that you insist are there,
from pocks and bags and cottage cheese,
to gnappy grungy hair.
I do not feel the massive load,
this burden of our child,
and do not know how you could think,
on me all this you’ve piled.
It does not rend my very soul,
that men have made you grim,
in fact it leaves me still in awe,
that you can bank on them.
And though I seem to lack in trust,
the only thing I’ve feared,
is that one day you will not wish,
to be called Heather Beard.
So do not fret on my harsh words,
or my attempts to fight,
for if you wake then me you’ll spot,
at your side every night.
Take not to heart my rage and hate,
or anger that I show,
but know instead that in my soul,
your seeds of love do grow.
You planted them so long ago,
and though you never knew,
they blinded me to everything,
except my love for you.
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