Does this ever happen to you? VENT

[maribelle]

Ok, we got invited to go to a party to the house of people we don't really know/get along with. I didn't want to go right off the bat, and wanted to make excuses, but DH told me it would be fun, and we were going...so I told the couple yes, and the woman asked me to bring a certain side dish. Not the time has come, and my DH decides we're not going, unless I go by myself. Who was it who didn't want to go in the first place??? So...now I don't know what to do. On top of it, friends of ours decided they are now coming over to our house, when I'm supposed to be over at the party... and the most complicating factor in this is my brother is smoking meat at this party, and he's been after me to try some, and will be hurt if I don't come. So...any ideas on a REALLY good excuse? Or ideas on how to torture my DH in mean low painful ways?

BY THE WAY, this is not a MAN rant...I know there are many men out there who could be in the reverse of this situation. This is more of a general spouse rant. ((And I LOVE my DH very much!))

[Sweet_Sadie]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

This hits so close to home... I'm afraid I'm biased today so take that into account when reading my answer. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO COMMON COURTESY?

My DH and I planned a BBQ (for Sunday evening) and bought the ribs and marinated them etc. We also purchased a couple hundred bucks worth of fireworks at Sams club (legal here in Fla and a GREAT Fireworks SHOW!) We invited some people and everyone accepted our invitation and they were to bring what they wanted to drink and a side dish. This works out great and we always have plenty of food.

Long story short, 30 mins after everyone was supposed to arrive (a 30 minute window "arrive between 5:30 and 6pm) I get a no-show call with a pretty believable excuse from one person. (Veterinarian emergency.)

Another no-show (a relative) I called and their excuse was it was too long of a drive... Grrrrr! Relatives REALLY shouldn't get preferential treatment... I shouldn't have made that call.

The third no-show didn't even call, so I told my DH NOT to call him, and that no-shows went from the "A" list to the "D or F" list. (NOT INVITED BACK AGAIN!) NO SHOW/NO CALL = "F" U! DH called him anyway (he never listens and he likes the guys company) and the no-show said he'd misunderstood the time and he was coming (yeah right, What is he an idiot and can't tell time? Ha!)...... HE NEVER SHOWED UP! Grrrrr! So he better be in the hospital.

Have the common courtesy to cancel if someone has extended an invitation. No shows are a$$holes and don't deserve to be invited back.

[dotsamantha]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

My dbf does that sometimes. He insists on going somewhere and then as the time approaches, he starts lolligagging around and making excuses. And forget about being on time anywhere. I get myself all prepared and then I hear a voice, "um, can you iron this?" or " i don't know where ____ is." lol

[Heidi3]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

well what I would do is tell the people the truth "my husband is being an asss first he wanted to come now he doesn't and I am sorry please do not take it personally but I wanted you to know who the flake was in this family ...not me!!"

but that is just me and how I handle things ...not reccomended if it not your style ...some how the threat that I will do that ...always seems to remind him ..yes honey you know I will ...because one time I actually had to and he was mortified....


I used that trick on my kids too btw ...."sorry so and so ..I can not come because Ian is on the floor having a really nice tantrum right now ...yeah kicking his feet and everything...just wanted to let you know that I would have been more than happy to come if it had not been for this childish behavior going on right now...oh you want to talk to him ...here" I would then drop the phone by his ear and walk away you could do that too ....

remember my advise is really not backed by science or safety reviews

[maribelle]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

YEAH!!! He just called and said we could go! I'm so happy, because I'm SICK of making excuses for him! And thanks for the input on how it feels on the other side of the fence...although in this case, I knew there would not have been other no shows, because the other people going are their "crowd" who they are with all the time. I would never just not show up! THAT IS RUDE!!! But I also know excuses can hurt other's feelings, thats why I get irked with DH, because not only is he the reason I have to make the excuses, but I turn out to be the bad guy for having made them. BUT THIS ONE HAS A HAPPY ENDING! YEAH!
Oh...and as far as making him the excuse, they wouldn't believe me, because he always acts like they're his best friends when we run into them!

[Brook]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

Or ideas on how to torture my DH in mean low painful ways?

1. Hide the remote control.

2. Take his deoderant, cut the top 1/2 off it and twist it back down into the container. Fill it up with softened cream cheese.

3. Take a rubber band the same color as your kitchen sink sprayer and band the sprayer trigger down. Ask him to get you a glass of water and enjoy the show. (It usually takes them about 10 seconds to get smart enough to shut off the water cuz they're too busy trying to figure out where the water is coming from to think to shut off the faucet.) heh heh.


Errr..ummm....not that I *ever* did any of these things to the man in my life.

[maribelle]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

lolol Those were some good ideas!!!! Thanks!

[Brook]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

LOL.

Well, if nothing else it'll teach him in short order that there are consequences to every action.

[Lady_Hawke]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

OMG Brook those are so funny.

Whats better then hiding the remote, just take the batteries out - 9 times out of 10 the man will sit there and just press harder on the buttons instead of checking for the batteries LMAO

Glad it worked out for you Maribelle

[LC_Dave]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

I don't think you need to play silly tricks with him to punish him.

If I get this straight, he simply changed his mind, for no good reason at the last minute, after he was the one to stupidly say "It will be fun".

What he needs to understand is the consequences of his actions, and that you hold him accountable, and that you do not appreciate the way he has acted.

With men, tell them straight about the way you feel. Make it simple language so that he understands, and more importantly so that he can't say "You never told me you felt this way".

Do it calmly, and rationally,
Don't expect him to read your emotions or your mind, and don't expect him to just suddenly figure it all out.

Women operate with empathy and emotions very skillfully, Men on the whole do not have these skills (My self I actually do).



This is what I think about the situation:-

1. You have made a committment to turn up - both of you should do it
2. You will most likely not have fun - because your instincts will be correct
3. Make it a learning lesson for your hubby... but

To actually make it a learning lesson, you have to teach him!

Imagine you are a teacher, teaching the second grade. Your strategy is not to punish them, and get mad expecting them to suddenly learn the curriculim.

You must talk in the child's language, to move them towards understanding the topic.

A man is much like the child, only bigger, hairyer and smellyier!

Just my two cents!

[Barbde]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

A man is much like the child, only bigger, hairyer and smellyier!

Just my two cents!

Yeah! What Dave said! AND take the batteries out of the remote! I LOVE that! heheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[changing]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

A man is much like the child, only bigger, hairyer and smellyier!

OMG Dave! It's like you know my husband personally!!!

ROFL

[Brook]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

I don't think you need to play silly tricks with him to punish him.

Punish him? Nahhhh.

Play with him? Yep.
Terrorize him for the fun of it? Yep.


This is entertainment, pure and simple.

Punishments are for children. Practical jokes and pay-backs are for grown-folks

[maribelle]

Re: Does this ever happen to you? VENT

Thanks again everyone for the input. LCDave...that was a really neat post! I never think about it like that. I am an emotional person, so maybe I do just expect him to read me. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to go, its that the resposibility of dealing with the situation always falls on me. This isn't a first time...we've been invited to countless weddings where he said he would go...even one of his best friends, and then when the time came, he wouldn't, and I was left dressed, ready to go, with the gift in my hands. I can't even look those people in the face anymore. SO...that was the issue here. But this time we did go, so like I said, this one was a happy ending. From now on, I just decline all invites from the get go. Lesson for me learned anyway.