Realising how big you are/were?

[jroche5998]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

I had just come to accept the fact that I was a "big guy". I never realized how big until I'd see my reflection with a buddy next to me when I'd realize how big I am/was. Even at 200 pounds I was a "big guy" but that was no excuse to allow myself to just get bigger.

[Kent]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

I know I had more problem getting used to being small rather than too big. I think I knew how out of control I had gotten. I was never deluded that I was smaller than the 400-pounder I was. I had too many reminders from amusement parks to being out of wind in the park to always being the first one asking for extender belt on the air plane.

When you measure your thigh to find out its larger (@ 38") than your former waist size, it's hard to rationalize that away. What I could not get used to was the feeling of ribs actually present. I must have really looked like a fool (and still do) as I literally feel myself up as I was amazed to feel ribs or thigh muscles rather than flab.

Body image is certainly a tricky thing to actually get it right.

[tiff111]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

Now that I have been on the plan for a few months I actually "feel" bigger now than when I started. It seems the more weight I lose, the bigger I feel and look. As with everyone else, it must be denial.

That's exactly what I was going to say. In reality, I'm shrinking but in my mind I'm growing.

I think I finally realized how big I was when I went from being the "curvy, sexy blonde" to "big butt chunky blonde". People definitely looked at me differently when I weighed 300+ pounds. I remember returning a skirt at a store because it wasn't the right color. The woman at the return desk said, "And you're returning it because it didn't fit?" Um...no!!

[bizzlekitty]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

I didn't really realize how big I had gotten, especially since I didn't own a scale anymore (and avoided them) and hadn't been to the doctor to be weighed in over a year. I knew I had trouble finding clothes that fit. But I had other RL issues going on that mentally kept me from focusing on it too much either, in addition to being depressed. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror or getting any photographs taken.

Looking back, yes, it's much easier to see and be ashamed at how big I had gotten. But then, I also know that I was eating wrong and trying to follow all the wrong diets. I have since learned that carbs for me were very bad.

I also know how *bad* I felt physically in addition to making my fibromyalgia worse. I look at my "before" pictures (only have 2 of them really) and am astonished that that was really me. (Speaking of which, I am hoping to post updated pictures soon).

A friend of mine pointed out to me recently, in addition to the visual difference in losing weight, how I used to wheeze and have difficulty breathing and visibly show like I was in pain before. But now I have much more energy, not as much pain and moving easier, and am much happier. That means alot more to me than anything the scale might tell me.

That and I was really lucky I got hired at my current job when I did, even when I was at my heaviest weight. The job has been part of my motivation helping me to find Atkins and lose weight. When you have a good job you enjoy, you can then focus your energies on improving the rest of your life.

I think it's very important to pay attention to weight and your pictures. I avoided paying enough attention to them both and look what happened. One should also never stop trying to find that one diet that might actually help you lose weight (or at least give Atkins a really good try to see if it would work for you).

And it's also the little things that you notice here and there that make you realize how much weight you've lost and how big you were before... the way your car seatbelt fits, being able to fit comfortably in movie seats, not having people move aside when you walk down a narrow hallway, being able to sit comfortably in a restaurant booth, being able to fit in a narrow bath tub, no longer having to worry if a chair will hold your weight, and I could go on and on

Good topic!

[aquaryus]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

LC- You couldn't have posted this topic at a better time! Last night as I was leaving work, I got in my car and closed the door.. Something seemed strange.. I realized that my door didn't smash into my hip like it normally did.. I reopened my door and slammed it again just to make sure! lol!

[LC_Dave]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

LC- You couldn't have posted this topic at a better time! Last night as I was leaving work, I got in my car and closed the door.. Something seemed strange.. I realized that my door didn't smash into my hip like it normally did.. I reopened my door and slammed it again just to make sure! lol!

He he!

Remind me of when I had lost about 50 pounds, I went to get out of the car, and I sprang up so quickly I almost launched myself onto the pavement!!

I was so used to trying to drag my carcass out, that I was dis-con-bob-ulated!

There were a few times when I almost tripped over, because when I walked I lurched too far, due to a sudden lack of bulge!

[bluerain324]

Re: Realising how big you are/were?

I am constantly in this battle with myself, trying to make myself realize that i've made this big change and have accomplished something. I don't see it. I am still continuously upset with myself over this body i'm left with. Like I can see people that i've known for a long time, and they don't recognize me. Then you have people you're meeting for the first time, and they have no idea how hard you have struggled and where you once were. In my head all they're seeing is this leftover skin that hangs from my body. It is very reassuring to try on my old size 18/20 jeans. I've kept them for that very reason (and secretly worrying that I may need them again one day). A lot of people are eager to get rid of their bigger sizes, but I just can't do it. I simply still see myself weighing what I did before this wonderful journey began.