Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

[Kate113]

In January I quit smoking. I knew I'd gain weight. I had no idea I would get so carried away!

I gained 45 pounds and my jeans don't fit. My fat brain is telling me that I shouldn't even bother to try anymore because I am destined to be a big fat cow for the rest of my life. I've been arguing with myself for weeks. I was so positive that this last time was it for me. I promised myself that this was the time that I would stick it out and lose the weight and be healthy; I'd look good and feel good. I broke my promise to myself!

I came here to read here and there. It always helped to motivate me only it didn't work. I didn't get it. Where was my brain? My common sense? My logic? It was in the kitchen making donuts is where it was! I'm so disgusted with myself.I decided to give up and just be gain weight and be fat.

I got on the scale this morning. It says I am 300 pounds again. I want to die! I am so sick of starting over, but this morning I told myself that this is it. I will give it another go. I know it works if I only stick to it. I pray that I see some quick results to help motivate me to continue. 300 pounds...again! If this keeps up, I WILL die!

If you are a praying person, will you please take a moment and say a little prayer for me?...that I will stick to Atkins this time and will meet my goal. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to see a grandchild. I don't want to be cooped up inside because I'm embarrassed to show my fat outside of the house. I want to feel like a person again and not some big old fat blob.

[Laurenfra]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Kate
Drop the attitude!
You are a beautiful lady, you have so much to be healthy for. Come here, stay here, visit every day, email someone (PM me). Do what ever it takes to be focused. Ask God to show you how, then when He does Listen.

[bradybunch]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Good luck Kate, you can do this. I use to tell myself I was a big blob too. You must lose this mentality and realize you are a beautiful woman inside and out. I know you can do it. You will be in my prayers dear. Don't give up, your health is worth fighting for.

[Kate113]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Thanks. I was having such a bad day when I made this post. I'm still looking at myself as a weak cow, but I'm 3 pounds down and even though it's water weight, I'll take it.

[woady357]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Hey!I quit smoking about a year ago and gained about thirty.Hey sh**t happens.Dont call yourself that.The better you feel about yourself the easier this will be.Believe me.When I thought about myself like that the more weight I gained because I thought well Im already fat who cares.

[Kate113]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

That's exactly what I was thinking about myself. I'm not totally out of that frame of mind yet, but I'm working on it. Heck, I even let my hair go gray more than I ever have before. I colored it yesterday and just that alone made me get some of my self-love back. Ah, the little things.

[woady357]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

When my hair looks good I feel great.Lets not talk about dying hair.I thought I would save 90 bucks and do it myself.It turned orange.Six bottles later I finally got brown.Goin to salon tomorrow for highlites.

[Kate113]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Aw, that's a shame! It's a wonder you still have hair after 6 bottles worth!

[lucidlemon]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

If I can do this- so can you! join in on the posts- don't just read. I find this forum so motivating and when you join in it just keeps the motivation there. Why don't you try joining the cheat free challenge and set small goals...Join an exercise challenge...anything to stay motivated!

I told my husband when I first started this WOE that if I ever showed a weak spot and was about to break down, he needs to grab me and yell.....WOMAN! GO EAT SOME FRIGGIN CHICKEN AND SHUT UP! He hasn't had to use that tactic yet...because I have the line firmly implanted in my brain. I have also taken to enjoying the smells of things I can't eat- my husband is always trying to get me to eat a peanut....just have one...I don't though- just smell. You can almost taste the food by smelling it.

I didn't start doing that until recently though- you don't want to do that too early in or you may just be tempted to eat it.

If you find that having junk in the house makes you eat junk- get it out! If your family is going to support you- they won't mind having to get their own junk and leave it outside the house! In my house that's the way it goes. My hubby has nuts instead of chips when we watch a movie and he's happy with that. We still have to have fruit and bread for hubby and baby, but I don't get tempted by those things- I love the smell of cutting fresh fruit and I know I'll eat it again- it's the chocolate and chips.

I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS- I'M 21 DAYS IN AND 28 POUNDS DOWN (last time I weighed). ANYONE CAN DO THIS...YOU'RE ANYONE!!!!! JUST REMEMBER THAT!

[woady357]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

youre telling me.I was hoping it wouldnt fall out.It didnt.My head is definitley sore though.

[RIMedusa]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Hey Kate --

Please stop calling yourself names.

I've been putting myself down all of my life, and it sure didn't make me thinner -- just upset and needing to soothe myself with food.

Let's pray to remember that our healthy selves are already there, inside of us, and we're gently pulling the layers off to get to them.

[Kate113]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Sorry about your head being sore, woady.

Thanks, lucidlemon. I'm already doing a lot of those things. I'm hoping that once I drop a few pounds (like maybe 10-15) I'll have my brain back on track again. I'll get there.

[misplaced southerner]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

hi kate....well i gotta agree with peachy keen. you are not a cow. i believe in the power of positive thinking....you ain't gonna get anywhere calling yourself a cow. now i for one really LIKE cows but in this regard i do not think a cow is a good thing.

love yourself honey....and that starts with NOT calling yourself names....you are SO WORTH THE GOOD CARE YOU ARE GONNA GIVE YOURSELF!

smile and know you are wonderful!

[Kate113]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Well, I'm going to have to work on that one. Because of being overweight my entire life, I've always had an issue with low self esteem. It's going to take quite a bit to get over that. I am trying though.

[Elizellen]

Re: Why? (I'm a Fat Cow!)

Kate
Good for you

I am sure as you get into the swing of Atkins and gain control over what you decide to eat your selfesteem will reassert itself!!