Didn't recognize myself...scary

[Yoly1001]

Ok so on Monday night I was driving home after visiting a friend when I got stuck behind a train. I glanced up and realized that there was a stranger looking at me in the rearview mirror. I did a double take. I don't know if it was the red brake lights from the car in front of me, or the fact that I had my hair pulled back in a pony. All I know is that for a second there I didn't recognize myself. I mean every single face feature looked completly different. My lips looked bigger, because my cheeks weren't dominating them. My nose portruded more, my chin was pointier. The bottom parts of my cheeks (by my jaw line) were completly gone.

Now I know most of you guys would be excited about this transformation, but for a minute all I could feel was intense acute fear. I sat there for at least a minute staring at the stranger in the mirror. I felt a panic attack coming on and so quickly turned the mirror back in the proper position and popped in my ABBA CD. I rocked out the rest of the way home so I wouldn't have to think about my "new" face.

I've had to overcome a lot of fear to be able to begin to lose weight. I would always begin to lose weight before, freak out and gain it back on purpose. I know this sounds sick, and it was. So this time I decided that I would ride the rollercoaster of fear until my stop came and I could get off feeling better. I did this work already, I thought I was done with it. Obviously not, if I had this reaction. I went home and went strait to bed, I knew that I would be tempted to sabatoge my progress with some kind of cheat. I have been cheatfree since starting.

Did this happen to any of you guys? and how did you deal with it? Do you think this is an issue I can resolve or is it something that I will have to deal with constantly until I reach goal?

If you stuck with me this far I thank you for your patience and dedication.

[Eireamy]

I don't know what all you have gone through to help you with your self-sabotage, but if I may reccomend a book, take it or leave it...

It is called Love Hunger (I will get you the authors and ISBN if you want).
I am a compulsive eater and this book got me working on it before I found Atkins and it really easily works with Atkins because it doesn't have any sort of "diet" portion that Atkins can't be substituted in for. It works on the reason for the eating and the sabotage.

Just a suggestion. :sympathy

PM me if you want more info (anyone)

[2big4mysize]

:hug :hug hope you are doing better now. it didn't scare me but I did turn around in the mall once when I saw somebody in the glass wearing my hat and felt a little stupid for not recognizing it was me.

You can do this. what about the new you scares you? Tanzanite40 has a post about psychological obsesety and how we hid from the world in out fat suits. Maybe you shoud read it I think it is stickied in teh womens forum or the most memeorable forum.

Happy low carbing

[sidrah]

Never happened here, but that'a a good thing for you. that means even you are surprising yourself with your changes. keep going and get ready for more happy surprises :nod

[Kent]

I know what you mean - we set our identity for so long as looking such a way. Now not only is our eating changed, but our outward appearance is changing too. Do I know this person staring back at me in the mirror? Getting past the new look and the new identity, but the old self is definitely a step to getting and staying thinner. It will get better after a bit of time -- think of it like "identity induction flu." Soon, you will be wondering how you ever lived with the old self in the mirror or what that person was thinking when she looked at herself. I hope this helps.

[Yoly1001]

I know what you mean - we set our identity for so long as looking such a way. Now not only is our eating changed, but our outward appearance is changing too. Do I know this person staring back at me in the mirror? Getting past the new look and the new identity, but the old self is definitely a step to getting and staying thinner. It will get better after a bit of time -- think of it like "identity induction flu." Soon, you will be wondering how you ever lived with the old self in the mirror or what that person was thinking when she looked at herself. I hope this helps.

bowulf - this is exacly how I'm feeling. I can't believe someone was able to put it into words better then me. I appreciate hearing that others have felt this way too. It means that maybe it is normal, and I am not such a weirdo.

Anyway, thank you all for your responses.