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Hi everyone, back after a while of denying myself the oportunity to be healthy, I think I have finally got over my last depression, so I will continue with my goals, those don't change, they will only take longer but I know I will get there.
I lost in 7 months 62 lbs. the first time I did Atkins, and I felt great, went from a size 28 to a 18, I have my closet full of clothes I can't use cause they dont fit, I had to buy new clothes after refusing to do so and the last time I went to shop for pants unfortunately size 28 didnt fit. So I guess I'm a size 30? I guess it depends on the clothes.
Anyway, I feel terrible, my arms hurt, they are so fat that when I sleep and bend them, the blood stop circulating and they get numb, when I wake up I have to move them and start to feel how the blood goes back in my fingers, I know this is not good, my back hurts most of the time, I feel so tired, I could be in bed for most of the day, and I think I have some sort of intestinal problem related with stress cause I have this terrible pain that a doctor thought it was a hernia, but the pain is trigger when I get angry or when I am really stressed, so my dad told me that it might be irritable bowel syndrome, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, I feel like Im starting to lose eye sight in one eye, my skin looks opaque and dirty, I can't be to much time sitting cause my legs will start to hurt and when I get up I feel like I am going to fall, my knees hurt, one day I felt how my right knee bend the other way and had problems to walk for a whole week, I can't sleep in my left side cause I feel how my heart struggles to work correcly, but if I sleep in my right side the part of my intestin that hurts starts to give me problems, if I sleep backside down I feel like sofocating with the weight and if I sleep backside up I feel my back hurt again, I have to be almost backside up with one pillow in one leg and the other has to be bend, my arms straight to the sides to be able to get a few hours of sleep, then I have to change position.
I haven't had my period for 2 months now, and no, I'm not pregnant, so hormonal crisis also, and I have been craving and eating carbs like crazy.
Like if I wanted to punish myself for something. I guess I have to do also a low guilt diet for my brain and hi selfesteem boost to get me working on what I want to do.
I'm not working, I can only make food, wash my dishes, wash my clothes, wash myself, and I have problems with that last thing cause my body doesnt let me bend as much as I need, so I have to be creative in order to get myself clean properly. I don't go out that often, I dont like people to see me, and its starting to become a problem.
Why am I describing so much my current health situation? cause I don't want to forget how I feel right now, and how I am totally responsable for this, I have done this to myself, and I will fix it as I did once.
So, hello again, see you here as much as I can, I'll be posting daily
Today, 28 of January is my first day in induction, lets hope I don't forget why am I here.
Starting at 332 lbs.
Have a great day
Rosa
I lost in 7 months 62 lbs. the first time I did Atkins, and I felt great, went from a size 28 to a 18, I have my closet full of clothes I can't use cause they dont fit, I had to buy new clothes after refusing to do so and the last time I went to shop for pants unfortunately size 28 didnt fit. So I guess I'm a size 30? I guess it depends on the clothes.
Anyway, I feel terrible, my arms hurt, they are so fat that when I sleep and bend them, the blood stop circulating and they get numb, when I wake up I have to move them and start to feel how the blood goes back in my fingers, I know this is not good, my back hurts most of the time, I feel so tired, I could be in bed for most of the day, and I think I have some sort of intestinal problem related with stress cause I have this terrible pain that a doctor thought it was a hernia, but the pain is trigger when I get angry or when I am really stressed, so my dad told me that it might be irritable bowel syndrome, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, I feel like Im starting to lose eye sight in one eye, my skin looks opaque and dirty, I can't be to much time sitting cause my legs will start to hurt and when I get up I feel like I am going to fall, my knees hurt, one day I felt how my right knee bend the other way and had problems to walk for a whole week, I can't sleep in my left side cause I feel how my heart struggles to work correcly, but if I sleep in my right side the part of my intestin that hurts starts to give me problems, if I sleep backside down I feel like sofocating with the weight and if I sleep backside up I feel my back hurt again, I have to be almost backside up with one pillow in one leg and the other has to be bend, my arms straight to the sides to be able to get a few hours of sleep, then I have to change position.
I haven't had my period for 2 months now, and no, I'm not pregnant, so hormonal crisis also, and I have been craving and eating carbs like crazy.
Like if I wanted to punish myself for something. I guess I have to do also a low guilt diet for my brain and hi selfesteem boost to get me working on what I want to do.
I'm not working, I can only make food, wash my dishes, wash my clothes, wash myself, and I have problems with that last thing cause my body doesnt let me bend as much as I need, so I have to be creative in order to get myself clean properly. I don't go out that often, I dont like people to see me, and its starting to become a problem.
Why am I describing so much my current health situation? cause I don't want to forget how I feel right now, and how I am totally responsable for this, I have done this to myself, and I will fix it as I did once.
So, hello again, see you here as much as I can, I'll be posting daily
Today, 28 of January is my first day in induction, lets hope I don't forget why am I here.
Starting at 332 lbs.
Have a great day
Rosa
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