Do you think you get treated differently when obese?

[leah81]

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=healthNews&storyID=8105826

I just read this article. I have to agree. It's funny, because when I lived in Atlanta I always felt the people in department stores ignored me, or were rude. My friend and I used to joke about it. (She is also overweight) It made me think about how nicely my sister in law is treated in stores. I figured it was either because she was really thin and cute, or because she dressed nicely and you could tell she was well off. When I went to stores with her there was a lot of attention given to her, but I still was pretty much ignored. Am I the only one who has this happen? I like the part of the article where it says that if the "obese" shopper said they were trying to lose weight they were treated better. LOL

[cleochatra]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes, was I treated differently! Of course, I also treated the world differently. I was embarrassed for me, and I believe others mirrored this.

Now, even though I am still overweight, I hold my head up, smile a lot and greet everyone I see with a smile. They respond in kind!

[Richt]

Just my 10 pence worth really, just to play devils advocate for a bit.

I am unsure whether people treat us any different at all, or if its a perception thing. The bigger we are the less confidence we generally have. We look down on ourselves, and just because we do, we think that everone else does aswell. So much so, that we expect them too (in our own minds). So we mis translate every situation and only see what we want to see.

Dont get me wrong. I'm not knocking what you say as I think there is a bit of truth in it. I am just looking at it from a different angle.

Does what I say actually make any sense?

[leah81]

Sure, I give you perception. If you did read the article you'd realize that the people in these suits are not obese, lol, just normal people observing how they were treated as a test. So, obviously there is some truth to it. I try to be polite everywhere I go! I mean, sure, I think all fat people are paranoid, but that doesn't mean they don't have a reason to be! LOL

[tickletussler]

OH YESSSS... a person does get treated differently - the only people who don't treat you differently are people you see everyday.

In department stores, I notice in posh dept stores (like Harrods, Fifth Avenue or David Jones) even dressed in jeans & casuals, the shop assistants ignore you. Even with money to spend and something you can clearly see you can fit in, they deliberately snub you or tell you they have nothing suitable for you (like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman)

And of course, nobody flirts with you! You immediately end up being in the "not attractive enough" basket

Finally, even though I was much chubbier before than I am now, and knew I was being treated differently... now being classified as one of the "thinner" people, I have to admit I treat people fatter than me differently.
I know I would offend some by saying this, but when I was fatter I used to feel so self-conscious because I thought people would think "how could I let myself become like that?"
Now being on the other side of the fence, when I look at a fat person, I think "how could they let themselves become like that?"

So yes, fat people are viewed differently, as though we "can't control ourselves and let ourselves become that way"

[2Bthin]

Now, even though I am still overweight, I hold my head up, smile a lot and greet everyone I see with a smile. They respond in kind!

I totally agree with that.
I don't really think I've ever been ignored or treated rudely while shopping because of my weight. Most times I'm wishing they would leave me alone and let me browse in peace without the chitchat. I do think how others treat you is often a reflection of your own attitude or feelings.

Another factor of course is salespeople that work on commision tend to be much more attentive then some hourly workers that just want to put in their time and get out and really don't know or care much about customer service.

[papajack_1]

Do you think you get treated differently when obese?

Of course obese people are treated differently.........................but, so what?

People of color are treated differently................handicapped people are treated differently..................short people are treated differently..............less attractive people are treated differently than are the "hotties."

And you know what.........................each of us is just as guilty of treating certain people differently as is that salesperson in a department store who ignores a calorically challenged customer.

Perhaps, when our feelings are hurt by someone treating us differently ....................we might want to judge ourselves instead of feeling sorry for ourselves.


EOS (End of Sermon!)

[dreamof145]

This is a topic that has so many angles. I totally agree that overweight people are treated differently. I think that some of it has to do with the fact that most overweight people (and I know there are some exceptions) but most of us feel inadaquate and have low self esteem because we are not happy with the way we look. This is especially true when we are around people that we don't know or meeting people for the first time. I used to absolutely dread going anywhere and letting anyone see me.

It is also true that many people look at overweight people as lazy and unattractive.

I know that I've lived in the fat world most of my life. Now that I am losing weight and starting to feel better about my appearance. I am fixing myself up more and wearing nice clothes instead of sweats. It seems that the more effort I make to speak to people and become involved in things, I am getting positive results.

I believe that I am being taken more seriously and people respect what I say more than they did when I weighed 100 pounds more. And I do realize that some of it is because I am putting myself out there and speaking up more than I used to.

[SanSSanity]

I think that people are treated differently depending on how they present and carry themselves. Usually overweight people dont carry themselves like they have a whole lot of self esteem so people tend to act on that.

I think that this goes for anyone though. If you didnt present yourself and carry yourself well and were skinny they would be treated differently too.

Just look at that goth guy that got suspended from school for wearing all that makeup. I bet he gets treated differently too! lol

[RunAwayMichelle]

I agree with Papa. lots of people get treated differently. I choose to shop at a local shop where they know my name and want my business. I go in often and I get to know the sales clerks. Of course it helps that it is the big womans store..LOL

[ArcadiaX]

I don't know if it's self-esteem, or prejudice, or what. All I know is that the night before I started this WOE, my husband & I went out for dinner. The Waitress was nice enough, but you could see her doing mental calculations as she sized me up and asked "Table or booth?" We chose booth, and she stuck us in the back of the room, after parading us around the other patrons, in the smallest booth I've ever experienced. As we passed other patrons, I could see them staring at me. Out-and-out staring at me.

I'd like to think it was because I looked particularly ravishing that night, but that was not the case.

The whole time we were there, the waitress made a special point to revisit our table often, and seemed annoyed when I didn't want a huge entree to go with my meal, or a dessert afterwards. I guess that because of my size, she figured I would be a cash cow (pardon the pun).

I was mortified, and we left as soon as possible. My DH could tell that I was upset.

This was at a Boston Pizza. I have had better treatment and service at Denny's. Where they actually have a lower-carb menu to choose from, and booths large enough to fit a trucker and a few of his friends.

That was, of course, more than a month and 25 pounds ago. It helped to cement the fact that I needed to change my WOE and my WOL. Whenever I need a kick in the bum, I remember that night and how miserable I felt, stuffed into a tiny booth after being stared at by twenty other people, and doted on by a waitress who thought I should EAT MORE JUNK.

On the flip side, we went out to dinner at a really NICE resteraunt a couple of weeks ago, and our server (who we have enjoyed and tipped generously in the past) treated me like a princess. Like a real human being. It felt great...and she definitely earned her tip.

Yes, we do treat larger people differently...but also there is something to be said for good customer service.

[ExoticIsle]

Papajack - for shame! "calorie- challenged"??? We know you meant "carb-challenged". Right? (with a smile)

[papajack_1]

Papajack - for shame! "calorie- challenged"??? We know you meant "carb-challenged". Right? (with a smile)

My Bad!

[Dawn]

OH that is too funny!

Hi my name is Dawn and I'm carb challenged...

I agree... there are many angles to this story. I try to be bright and cheery to everyone, but when you are morbidly obese, insecure, and have the self esteem of an ant, it is easy to perceive every glance, look, or comment as an insult directed at you. Sure some are directed at you, but some aren't, but because we are hiding behind our fat suits all we see is the bad.

I agree... a warm smile and showing interest in the salesman you are dealing with can warm the hardest of hearts... well for the most part, and if they are so blind that they can't see past the fat then pity them for their shallowness or upbringing.

The hardest people I have had to deal with btw, are young men who obviousely have not been raised up right. I have been mooed at and had fat remarks made at me. I just hope that one day their skinny girlfriend becomes their 300 pound wife! LOLLOL

Dawn

[MotherNature]

I'm sure obese people are treated differently by some people, but when I was 283 pounds, I always felt like everyone was staring at me, especially in restaurants. I was ashamed of every bite I put on my plate because I just knew people were looking and thinking "She is so fat and just look at what she is eating". 90% of that was conjured up by my own paranoid mind. Now, at 196 pounds, I am still no lightweight, but it never crosses my mind to wonder what other people are thinking. The amount of self-confidence gained is equally proportionate to the number of pounds lost. If I did notice someone staring at me now, I would probably stare right back and being me, I would probably stick my tongue out! LOL

Cathy