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I have to vent or I'm going to explode.
My sister will be 31yrs old in June. In 2003 she commited a felony which kind of rocked the family. I almost lost my job because the police came to my work looking for me to find her. They didn't put out a warrant on her as a "favor" to me.. I wanted to ask them if it was a favor to me why didn't they save it for sometime I really needed it, like when I got a parking ticket? Anyway, we found her through a friend and managed to presaude her to turn herself in. Mom of course bailed her out. She went to court and was sentanced to 100 hours of community service, 30 days of public works, and probation. Part of probation is that she HAS to have a job or go to school.
Ok, jump ahead to November of 2003.. I find $20 missing from my wallet and confront my sister about it and she runsaway from home. She totals her car and calls home bawling. Of course, I get sent to the rescue.. "go pick up your sister". *sigh* So I do.. just to keep the peace in the family. She ends up living with a "friend" for a few weeks and then calls me crying to come back home on Christmas Eve. I got get her again and she stays home this time.
Jump to March 2004... she quits her job! Supposedly she HAD to quit her job because probation said so. Which doesn't make sense since part of her probation is that she HAS to have a job. Nobody gets the full story on this one. She applies for unemployment and it's granted for whatever reason.
Jump to May 2004, she goes to see a shrink and the shrink says she is depressed and puts her on medication. She withdraws from the family not wanting to spend any time with us, instead spends most of her time eating and sitting on her butt in her room. She's always had a problem with hygiene and hasn't brushed her teeth in literally over 10 years. Her teeth are falling out and she's got tons of cavities.. she did brush her teeth twice that I know of, when she went to see the dentist. Her breath is so horrible that you can't be within a certain number of feet from her without wanting to throw up. She doesn't bathe on a regular basis either.. she bathes once a month unless she has to go to the doctor, she'll bathe before she sees him. This all has been going on for YEARS.. way before she commited the felony. The shrink she sees won't listen to anything we write or talk to him about.. he just keeps her on Zoloft (think that's it) and thats all they do for her. She's gained over 50lbs on that med.
Jump to October 2004, she goes to court with the shrink and manages to get her restitution reduced and court fees waived because she's depressed. Probation then tells her that she can apply for something called summary probation...which means instead of going in for meetings she can check in over the phone.
Jump to February 2005... I catch her talking to one of her friends who is also a felon (they aren't supposed to communicate with each other per the court ruling) and she gives her $670 of her tax return (explain that to me.. how does someone who only worked 3 months out of one year and has been on unemployement the rest of the time get the same amount of tax return as someone who worked their butt off the whole year?) to her friend for some reason. I let mom know and the fireworks begin... mom confronts my sister and takes away her cellphone and the phone line to her room. She also starts banning her from using the car unless someone goes with her. Mom asks her about Revenue and Recovery (the people she has to pay restitution to) because mom is worried that my sister hadn't been making payments (she got a call in early 2004 about how my sister hadn't been making payments) and my sister assures her that she has been paying.
Jump to April 2005. We plan a trip to Colorado because we plan on moving there. Pretty sure she'll be able to go because she's been telling us she has kept up with everything probation says we book her a ticket and stuff planning on taking her with us. She asks mom to write a letter to probation telling them all the details of the trip and mom does.. putting her contact information at the bottom. The probation officer asks my sister if it's ok to contact my mom and she says yes. Well, that call went interesting.. apparently she HASN'T paid R&R since December 2004 when she made a partial payment. She also lied about probation making her quit her job and has been warned a couple times that she needs to find a job or go to school because she's violating probation by not having work. Basically mom was told there is no way the sibling is going unless she manages to pay $165 to R&R by the 10th and thats when they will decide if she can go.
If she CAN'T go, she'll be homeless for a week because mom refuses to let her live here when nobody else is home. Can't say that I blame mom. Nana said she could stay up there for a week, but I'm sure mom will have something to say about that. I forgot to mention that in 2003 when this all happened she burned my Nana for over $2000 in cell phone bills.. yeah $2000 thats the right amount of 0's. Mom told the probation people about the sibling not being able to stay here if she can't go and apparently it doesn't bother them.
My sister got a letter from probation stating she has a meeting with them in early June.. which is odd seeing as her meetings are supposed to be 6 months apart. In the letter it states that she has to provide proof of a job or school and she has to provide proof she's paying R&R.
Her unemployement runs out at the end of this month.. she used all her extensions. She can't afford to go to school.. she can't get a loan because she's got 7 repos and a lot of other fun negative credit stuff. She thinks that she will be able to go to community college and not have to pay more than $50. :confused Most places won't hire her because she has to put down she's a felon (oh yeah.. and the felony she commited was againest McDonalds, she was fired from Jack in the Box for inappropriate behavior and she quit Carl's Jr. without an reason.. she's burned her fast food bridges). They're also going to want to know why she's been unemployed for over a year! So basically she's not going to be able to do any of the stuff they want her to do for probation.
:bang
I am beyond frustrated. It's like all the help we give and continue to give is for nothing. Everytime we try to help her she turns around and does something stupid.
I guess maybe this wouldn't be so bad if there weren't so much crap going on with the rest of us... I mean my dad just had major surgery in February 2005 for cancer, 18 hours of surgery! He's currently undergoing radiation as well. There are a lot of other family problems going on too. I just think she's being beyond selfish to do all this stuff.. to put the family through the felony in the first place was bad enough but to keep kicking us in the teeth and expecting us to help?!
:mad2
Ugh. I just needed to vent before I blow up at someone in the family from keeping it all inside.
My sister will be 31yrs old in June. In 2003 she commited a felony which kind of rocked the family. I almost lost my job because the police came to my work looking for me to find her. They didn't put out a warrant on her as a "favor" to me.. I wanted to ask them if it was a favor to me why didn't they save it for sometime I really needed it, like when I got a parking ticket? Anyway, we found her through a friend and managed to presaude her to turn herself in. Mom of course bailed her out. She went to court and was sentanced to 100 hours of community service, 30 days of public works, and probation. Part of probation is that she HAS to have a job or go to school.
Ok, jump ahead to November of 2003.. I find $20 missing from my wallet and confront my sister about it and she runsaway from home. She totals her car and calls home bawling. Of course, I get sent to the rescue.. "go pick up your sister". *sigh* So I do.. just to keep the peace in the family. She ends up living with a "friend" for a few weeks and then calls me crying to come back home on Christmas Eve. I got get her again and she stays home this time.
Jump to March 2004... she quits her job! Supposedly she HAD to quit her job because probation said so. Which doesn't make sense since part of her probation is that she HAS to have a job. Nobody gets the full story on this one. She applies for unemployment and it's granted for whatever reason.
Jump to May 2004, she goes to see a shrink and the shrink says she is depressed and puts her on medication. She withdraws from the family not wanting to spend any time with us, instead spends most of her time eating and sitting on her butt in her room. She's always had a problem with hygiene and hasn't brushed her teeth in literally over 10 years. Her teeth are falling out and she's got tons of cavities.. she did brush her teeth twice that I know of, when she went to see the dentist. Her breath is so horrible that you can't be within a certain number of feet from her without wanting to throw up. She doesn't bathe on a regular basis either.. she bathes once a month unless she has to go to the doctor, she'll bathe before she sees him. This all has been going on for YEARS.. way before she commited the felony. The shrink she sees won't listen to anything we write or talk to him about.. he just keeps her on Zoloft (think that's it) and thats all they do for her. She's gained over 50lbs on that med.
Jump to October 2004, she goes to court with the shrink and manages to get her restitution reduced and court fees waived because she's depressed. Probation then tells her that she can apply for something called summary probation...which means instead of going in for meetings she can check in over the phone.
Jump to February 2005... I catch her talking to one of her friends who is also a felon (they aren't supposed to communicate with each other per the court ruling) and she gives her $670 of her tax return (explain that to me.. how does someone who only worked 3 months out of one year and has been on unemployement the rest of the time get the same amount of tax return as someone who worked their butt off the whole year?) to her friend for some reason. I let mom know and the fireworks begin... mom confronts my sister and takes away her cellphone and the phone line to her room. She also starts banning her from using the car unless someone goes with her. Mom asks her about Revenue and Recovery (the people she has to pay restitution to) because mom is worried that my sister hadn't been making payments (she got a call in early 2004 about how my sister hadn't been making payments) and my sister assures her that she has been paying.
Jump to April 2005. We plan a trip to Colorado because we plan on moving there. Pretty sure she'll be able to go because she's been telling us she has kept up with everything probation says we book her a ticket and stuff planning on taking her with us. She asks mom to write a letter to probation telling them all the details of the trip and mom does.. putting her contact information at the bottom. The probation officer asks my sister if it's ok to contact my mom and she says yes. Well, that call went interesting.. apparently she HASN'T paid R&R since December 2004 when she made a partial payment. She also lied about probation making her quit her job and has been warned a couple times that she needs to find a job or go to school because she's violating probation by not having work. Basically mom was told there is no way the sibling is going unless she manages to pay $165 to R&R by the 10th and thats when they will decide if she can go.
If she CAN'T go, she'll be homeless for a week because mom refuses to let her live here when nobody else is home. Can't say that I blame mom. Nana said she could stay up there for a week, but I'm sure mom will have something to say about that. I forgot to mention that in 2003 when this all happened she burned my Nana for over $2000 in cell phone bills.. yeah $2000 thats the right amount of 0's. Mom told the probation people about the sibling not being able to stay here if she can't go and apparently it doesn't bother them.
My sister got a letter from probation stating she has a meeting with them in early June.. which is odd seeing as her meetings are supposed to be 6 months apart. In the letter it states that she has to provide proof of a job or school and she has to provide proof she's paying R&R.
Her unemployement runs out at the end of this month.. she used all her extensions. She can't afford to go to school.. she can't get a loan because she's got 7 repos and a lot of other fun negative credit stuff. She thinks that she will be able to go to community college and not have to pay more than $50. :confused Most places won't hire her because she has to put down she's a felon (oh yeah.. and the felony she commited was againest McDonalds, she was fired from Jack in the Box for inappropriate behavior and she quit Carl's Jr. without an reason.. she's burned her fast food bridges). They're also going to want to know why she's been unemployed for over a year! So basically she's not going to be able to do any of the stuff they want her to do for probation.
:bang
I am beyond frustrated. It's like all the help we give and continue to give is for nothing. Everytime we try to help her she turns around and does something stupid.
I guess maybe this wouldn't be so bad if there weren't so much crap going on with the rest of us... I mean my dad just had major surgery in February 2005 for cancer, 18 hours of surgery! He's currently undergoing radiation as well. There are a lot of other family problems going on too. I just think she's being beyond selfish to do all this stuff.. to put the family through the felony in the first place was bad enough but to keep kicking us in the teeth and expecting us to help?!
:mad2
Ugh. I just needed to vent before I blow up at someone in the family from keeping it all inside.
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