Does anyone else feel this way?

[Finelly]

Ok, so last time around, I started at 214.5 and by the time of the car accident, I was down to 182.

This time, I started at 218. For some reason, I do not feel that I will be doing good enough until I hit 200. For some reason, the 200 number is very important to me. I hovered around there for several months, maybe that's it.

It's almost like nothing COUNTS until then.....

[DragonflyMoon]

I hear ya... that will be a big deal for me. I feel so overwhelmed right now, though, that i am trying to break it down into 40 pound mini goals. But i completely understand what you mean! :nod

[Finelly]

It's not so much a big deal in terms of getting down to 200 per se, it's more that I could tolerate gaining again ONLY up to 200 lbs. 201-218 is, to me, a void and I won't feel like I'm having any weight-loss success until I hit that middle point!

[Finelly]

OMG! I'm alone in this particular neurosis!!!!! <sob>

[Terry]

:hug

Thats the best I can do. I am not concentrating on the scales so my head isn't doing what yours is.

Although............. now that I am typing......when I think more about it I guess until I can get to the point that I made it to last time then it will be like I am making some progress. I began 2 years ago at 294. Made it down to 232 by last June. I stayed at 240 until the first of this year and then struggled alot. This spring I just blew it all and am guessing I am at 250-55 by the feel of my clothes. I dont want to face or deal with the scale and am going by my measurements. Actually....... I am waiting to get back into the jeans I was wearing. Then I will get on a scale.

Now that I digress, does any of this make sense to you or how you are feeling?

[Finelly]

It would make sense to me if I thought that my previous low weight was the target weight where I would think "ok, now you're doing it".

It seems so WEIRD to me that it's about half-way!!! It isn't a weight where I know I will have clothes that fit. It isn't a weight where I thought "oh, I look pretty good now". It has NO particular significance. It's just...A WEIGHT!

<sigh> I think I'm just WEIRD! lol

[DragonflyMoon]

I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but for me, anything higher than size 16 doesn't exist for me. That was my last personal "acceptable" size. I bought about one or two pairs of 18 last year (taking the tags out) and then it was maternity clothes from then on. My wardrobe right now consists of the same stretchy pants i wore when i was pregnant. I went to Lane Bryant the other week and couldn't even get into a size 22. So i refuse to by "real" pants until i am back into an 18 (and then i'll take the tags out.) So how is that for weird??? Feel better? Ha ha ha...

Let me explain why... my whole life, up to when i started having the weight problem, i was a size 4 or 6. As i gained weight, the sizes got to be more and more unacceptable to me. As i became more and more unacceptable to me. But i think i have had blinders on... haven't REALLY looked at the REAL me in a very long time. What i need to do now, and i think i am getting there, is to accept myself as beautiful for who i am, on the inside and out... and just have a goal to become healthy and whole ~ body, mind and spirit. So that is my quest...

[flannery]

OMG! I'm alone in this particular neurosis!!!!! <sob>

dear, dear... it's okay. I have so many neurosis so you are not alone. For me, I feel like nothing matters until I loose all the weight I have gained 20+... It is sometime hard to give myself the pep talk. Ya know the one. .. "Hey flannery(fill in with your name) you can do it. What matters is that you don't give up. Slow and steady wins the race"

[Finelly]

Thanks, guys!

I'm totally confident that this is working and will continue to work. As always when I'm on track in the woe, I feel GREAT! As for the weird, idiosyncratic craziness about not being willing to be considered successful until I hit 200 lbs........ffffffffftttt!

[DragonflyMoon]

Well, i think we all have a little crazy in us. That is what keeps us interesting!

[Finelly]

Like they say, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional!

[Desertthorn]

Well, i think we all have a little crazy in us. That is what keeps us interesting!

Oh.... is that why we are ha addicted