struggling.. unk reason

[womanpraised]

Okay.. posting this here and then copy to my journal, so I dont go twice. I am struggling. Dont know why.. no particular reason for it. I have seen inches lost, but no change in clothing size.. That is a bit frustrating. I went into the gas stn with my mom this am, and stared at the snack cakes without even wanting one, but I know that I am craving the sweets. But I dont want any, if that makes sense.

Yesterday, I took the money out for the vending machine candy bars, and put it back and had some coffee instead. That helped, but not really... I could drink a gallon of coffee right now, but what I am after, I think, is the hint of sweet.

I dont know what it is. I made chocolate "mousse" last night, and while good, didnt hit what I wanted. It is just out of reach...

Wierd. Perhaps because so much else is unstable right now, it is comfort psycho stuff. Maybe I am just nervous about actually losing inches, and so must self sabotage. Dont know.

BUT, I am going to examine this until I figure out why and how to make it stop. Left all change at home, so no vending machine temptation. Guess the best solution is to stuff myself with water until the thought of ingesting anything makes my yukky.

We shall see.

[Sarah1341]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Man, could have been reading my own story!!! I've been doing some major soul searching with myself trying to figure out why I fall so often. Is it self-sabatoge? I don't know.

Just know that we are here for you and that some of us have very similar issues. I believe that I eat for the love of food and added to that, eat with every emotional setting that could possibly happen. Today, its boredom. Work is very slow.

Hang in there! You are doing great!!

[Terry]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

while you figure it out and it will give you time to trudge thru and realize what the most important thing is.....

Do you want that <insert pastry of choice here> or do you want to be thin?

Thats what I KEEP chanting today myself over and over again.

HTH WP

[knicknack]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

That was me this weekend. I walked into 7-11 with the full intention of buying a candy bar but then realized I didn't want one. My craving was started because of the random carbs thrown into food in restaurants so I know where mine came from.

It sounds like yours is psychological. You want comfort food because of whatever it means to you but in reality you don't want it at all - as evidenced by your not actually wanting it or buying it!

[womanpraised]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Funny... Thinking about sabotage.. when I measured my inches the other day and saw that is was 19 down, my visceral reaction was panic, I couldnt breathe, I had to check again, I was in a daze for a while. Bears thinking on.

Good thing I dont have any money, or I could make some psychdocs acccountant a very happy person.. everything is fine! I dont know whats wrong! But something is!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Brook]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Being heavy has various pay-offs for us. For some of us it makes us feel more invisible to everyone, for some of us it makes us feel invisible to men. For some of us it lets us hide behind the fat to keep us safe from venturing out into the world. For some of us it keeps us safe from trying new things.

The emotional payoffs, in some ways, can be enormous - and just as big as the physical and emotional draw backs.

It's pretty confusing.

This is exactly why I wrote out what I did in the women's forum - the "window into my soul". It was my way of working through what's been sabotaging me and holding me back. It works for me every time, and I know that - you have to find what works for you and find the reasons that you're holding yourself back. It begs the question - do you journal? Not just food and exercise, but what's going through your head on a daily basis. I wrote what I wrote in the women's forum after going through my diary and oyyyyyyy - I spotted a ton of things again that made me jump back and blew me away.

I know you know you're not alone in this, but I'm gonna tell you again anyway.

You're not alone in this. We've all got our reasons for being as heavy as we are/were, and working through our weight issues isn't just a matter of physiology and willpower - it's about working through a plethora of psychological issues that keep biting us in the butt.

Keep talking to us - and keep being honest with you. We're here for you - to hold your hand or kick you in the butt - whatever you need.

Big, giant, huge hugs!

~Brook

[Starmaker]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Geez Brook you never fail to inspire, I'd give you a rep point but it tells me I need to spread the love around before I give anymore to you...or Fin...or Terry lol

[cleochatra]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

I understand what everyone's saying here.

I mean, we can lose weight, hit goal, and be stylin' in those hip-hugger jeans, and then still find ourselves having a threesome with Ben and Jerry 10 minutes later.

O the humanity, wrapped up in cherry chunk icecream!

Still, there are issues we're not necessarily dealing with which made us overweight in the first place that have to be addressed. I realllly recommend reading Dr Phil's weight loss book because it deals with the underlying emotional issues and focusses on behavior and making good choices instead of feeling up Dolly Madison for a quick emotional fix.

Food has been our drug for a long time, and to replace it with something else emotionally gratifying is what takes training.

[womanpraised]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Hey folks.. thanks for the encouragement..

I know if I dont say when I am starting to struggle, I will ignore it, until Im not struggling but sliding.

I journal here, in the journal section. I have tried written journals for various reasons over the years, and cant keep it up.

I know this has more to do with my mind than my hunger, or even my sweet tooth. And that tthere si just a lot going on, a lot of uncertaintly, and the pleasure rush of sweets is a comfort thing.

Anyhow.. muddling through. Thanks so much!!

[womanpraised]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

having a threesome with Ben and Jerry 10 minutes later.

LOLOLOL... this is funny for reasons I cant even go into in a public forum, but I will be laughing for days! This has blessed beyond what you meant to, I think, and instantly made something painful almost funny.

[Finelly]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

First I want to say that if you guys could keep posting problems, I will be able to set my own whacky crap aside and figure out ways to reassure others, which in turn helps ME feel better. Seriously! I'm in danger of sitting on my pity pot of anxiety if I don't have you guys to remind me that I'm not the only one with struggles.

Ok.

Woman, may I remind you that you are in the throes of a MAJOR life stressor? you just moved, looked for a job, living with parents, looking for a place of your own to live, giving up carbs, depriving yourself of the foods you love, don't yet have a steady support system in your new place. If YOU can't figure out why you're struggling, I sure can!

What amazes me, absolutely AMAZES me is how you are resisting most things. This is a sign of GREAT STRENGTH and focus. You are also much more mindful of your body right now and what messages it is sending out. You aren't blindly feeding it what it demands, you are questioning and confirming. You are catching yourself starting to do the wrong thing, you are publically admitting it, you are re-confirming your commitment. How cool is THAT?

Let me just say a few things about the sweet issue. In the first four weeks of a really clean induction, you are going to crave sweets. We can choose two strategies: One is to go completely cold turkey. This works for some. It never worked for me and I have never felt that it was necessary. The second way is to give yourself some splenda-sweetened treats, like the chocolate mousse.

Now, as you noticed, the mousse splenda thing was good, but did not "hit the spot". That "spot" is the immediate high we get from sugar. Splenda doesn't give that to us. In fact, I noticed that during the first month, Splenda was ok, but not what I was looking for, just like you did. But there's HOPE!

After awhile, the Splenda sweetened stuff WILL be enough. Once your body totally detoxes from the sugar, you won't be craving that temporary high, and the taste of sweet will be enough. This is a PROMISE. So for now, you will have to endure the fact that it doesn't QUITE eliminate the sweet craving, but it is better than nothing! It's like getting really close to the center of the target, but not enough to earn maximum points in a game of darts.

As for the 7/11 experience or whever you are when you see something forbidden, I can sooo relate. I see it, I am not tempted to buy it, I am not tempted to eat it, but I know I want it. It is the old habits making themselves heard. Perfectly normal and natural. What is NOT natural is your refusal to give in. That refusal is still new to you, and the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.

Be good to yourself! Appreciate how far you have come. Focus on the good choices instead of the bad ideas that pop into your head!

[2big4mysize]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Congrats on the great job resisting those high carb sireens calling your name.
actually your subconcious brain is sending you some Rx signals based on your past experiences with foods that mimic brain neurotransmitters and your current emotional state. Many many foods contain natural chemicals that can in the human body mimic the chemicals our brains use for stress relief. Chocolate is one of those foods. ,Our brains have an amazing abilitly to cross reference every thing we do and it has stored foods with the emotions we felt before during and after we ate them. Your brain knows in your past when you were stressed like now you got relief from eatting that swet substance you can't find now so it is prescribing it for you. You can use other things like exercise to generate chems your brain wants right now and getting rid of the stress chems too.

If you start logging your eatting with notes about what you were doing who you were with and how you felt before during and afterwards you are going to see patterns emerge that you can identify as triggering events and then take steps to eliminate them to better control your food wants.

[womanpraised]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

So what you are saying is that my brain is a tricky little bugger that needs to be convinced that chocolate isnt the way to go? That really does make sense... knowing that my triggers are stress and boredom, and I have always fed it sweets to get through.. That makes sense.

We are amazing creatures, eh?

[Finelly]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

Yes, your brain is a tricky little bugger. It needs to be convinced that Splenda is an acceptable substitute for sugar.

Your brain has been in charge for YEARS. It's going to take some practice to let it realize who is really the boss now!

[Starmaker]

Re: struggling.. unk reason

CLEO'S QUOTE: Food has been our drug for a long time, and to replace it with something else emotionally gratifying is what takes training.

er yes.....like Brad Pitt perhaps