Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

[slimndown]

OK - So here I am little miss perfect always encouraging everyone to battle the bulge and having perfect control over my appetite and I've dragged my foot off the wagon so badly I probably lost a leg but I'm not going to look at the scale because I'm sure it'll say I've gained an elephant. It all started with turkey and trimmings a few days ago. Then a small piece of cheesecake. Then the last of the cheesecake. Then a dinner out at the Spaghetti factory eating low carb pasta. And now...*drum roll please* - sushi!!!!!! Nothing is harder than having to start all over!!!! I hate myself so much right now that I just want to bury my head in the sand!!!!! (Tummy is too full to bury it in sushi again). I just feel so awful because I haven't been keeping up with my exercise with my busy schedule. Now everything is almost back to normal with my dad being able to live right now and having hope of going through Chemo and treatments for the moment, so I was thinking of getting back to Slim in 6 but now I feel too loaded with a drug called carbs to even move. But I'm going to have to go to work full time as the rest of my personal life is being turned upside down and if I'm not on track now - how will I stay on track then????? I feel so overwhelmed. I know, one day at a time starting with induction.....I almost feel that it is such hard work, why should I bother if I'm going to blow it again???? On the other hand, what else am I going to do to get where I want to be? My whole life is out of control right now and I sabotaged the one thing I had complete control in. I'm so disappointed in myself.

[Sheshy]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Hi Slim,

Sorry you're having a hard time right now. I'm glad to hear your Dad is going to begin treatment though, I'm sure that gives you and your family some relief. Stress is the worst and helps us make bad life decisions.

IMO, it appears that so many things are outside of your control right now. But, the more consistency you maintain during difficult times, the more control you will feel. Which will make the stress less.

So what's your plan for this evening or tomorrow morning to regain some control in your life?

Take care!

[cleochatra]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

slimn-- Exercise--tonight. You are going to forget everything and take it a step at a time, starting with the next 10 minutes. Shut off the computer and go do something for 30 minutes, and then log back in the new and improved you.

Life is fraught with kharma making us its buttmonkey every chance it can. What sets us apart from the less fortunate is that we can learn from the past mistakes we've made. You turned to food for comfort during a stressful situation. Well guess what? Even when you're so thin you could hula hoop with a Cheerio, you're going to have stress too. It never goes away. Learning to be outside of our comfort zone or to look for more effective ways to combat stress is what is going to get you through trying times. Not the carb-induced amnesia found in a belly filled with sushi.

But you knew that.

[slimndown]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Good question. As far as the WOE goes, I'm going to start with an Atkins friendly meal tonight and stick with it tomorrow. I have to work tomorrow evening and then the whole day on Saturday, so I will eat dinner early, then pack my lunch and snacks for Saturday. The exercise I'll start on Monday and carry through the rest of the week. In the meantime, I'm focusing on diet. We have also accumulated some stuff that we don't need so I'll spend the rest of the week weeding through that while hubby isn't home to say 'but we could use that at some point'. That'll all help with feeling overwhelmed and getting back on track. Thanks.

[slimndown]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Thanks Cleo - see ya in a bit .

[Terry]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Your post sounds like you have a plan in motion. Yay for you coming here, sharing with your ADBB family and getting back on that wagon!!

When I lose control.......... I always feel better when I can go thru clutter and get rid of things no longer needed. (Especially when hubby isnt around and cant regale me in why we need to keep the crap Im trying to get rid of.)

<big hug for slim>

[Chris]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Slim, oh, how I very, very much sympathize with your plight. If you've seen any of my recent posts in this forum, you know that my Mom will be starting chemo, also, in a few weeks, and I've just discovered in the last few days that I have my own, somewhat severe, medical problems.

I'm sure that I'm no stronger than you; in fact, let me tell you how close I let all this throw me out of the wagon, as well. Tuesday, when I got the news about my diagnosis, I went on back to the office to get in a couple of hours of work before the end of the day. I'm sorry to say I was feeling quite sorry for myself. After all, here I was just getting ready to go spend several wonderful weeks celebrating the holidays with my family, and suddenly, instead, I'm facing some pretty gruesome medical procedures. My supervisor had put out three kinds of beautiful European chocolate truffles for the staff that had been sent by our office in Naples. I looked at those chocolates, and thought, "I'll just have one. After all I've been through, recently, I deserve it." I actually picked one up, and looked at it, but then I thought about certain people. I thought about Brook, Cleo, 2Big, Bren, Brian, Becky, Rich, Betty, and so many others on this board. What would they think of me if they could see me eat that truffle? They might understand, but, even so, I know they'd be disappointed -- and I just couldn't even think about disappointing those wonderful people who had, so many times in the past, taken their personal time to support and help me in my efforts.

I don't have control over what's happening to my Mom, and I don't have any direct control over the problems in my own body, other than doing what I'm told I have to do to get well. I've got to have some control -- over something! -- so I've decided that it's going to continue to be what I put in mouth. Besides, if I fall back into my carb addiction, and begin to feel like the old slug that I used to be, my life will be even worse than it is now, not better!

Slimndown, I do sincerely hope that that the tribulations in your life will soon lessen. Please take care of yourself, in every way possible, so that you can properly deal with them until that happens. And, never, ever, forget that we're all here to help in whatever way we can.

Wishing you the very best!

[slimndown]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

*hugs to everyone* Thanks very much everyone. Nice to know I'm not alone when I have Cyberfriends .

[cleochatra]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

We're the cyberfriendiest! That and we don't make your butt look big.

[Chris]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

We're the cyberfriendiest! That and we don't make your butt look big.

Can't SOMEBODY help her?!!!

[ForME]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Okay so you slipped, we all slip at sometime or anther. Just pull the boot straps back up and go forward. Don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you got a plan to help you through this. You can do it!! Will keep ya in thoughts.

Crystal

[slimndown]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Thanks - I'm back on track today. I'm hoping the cravings won't be too bad as I only had one meal per day that wasn't Atkins friendly, but we'll see. Just going to be a good girl through the weekend, then start exercising on Monday. Thanks for all your support and slaps upside the head!!!! I'm glad this only lasted a few days instead of a few weeks - you guys really helped with that.

[ForME]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

Wooo hooo, you can do it!!! Glad you are back on track!!

Crystal

[2big4mysize]

Re: Ugh! I feel like I ought to puke!!!!!!

if you even think about going a stray this weekend just lean toward the blade side of your life and you will get a quick reminder not to.