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  • Another off topic MIL thread

    You all remember my previous problems about what a thorn in my side the mother of my SO, Michael, was getting to be. Things have now REALLY gone downhill!

    I came down to NC Monday night. Although the trip was miserable, because of my back injury, I was able to see a doctor and get some medication for pain. Other than that, I've had a wonderful time visiting with my folks -- and have even managed to totally avoid all the many holiday goodies that seem to be constantly offered.

    Then, last night, the happiness came to a halt. Michael was visiting at his Mom's (probably at her demand) and had been using her computer to access his email. Quite naturallly, there were a number to and from me, talking about how much we miss each other, couldn't wait to be together again, as well as a few more intimate things. He minimized his email, to do some other things, and forgot to close it before leaving the machine. She later went to use the machine, maximized his email, and noticed the folder labeled "Chris." Being the nosy b*tch that she is, she started reading our correspondence. I won't even go into details of the scene that followed, but, basically, she threw him out of the house. He was totally and completely devasted. He went on back to our house, and has been sitting there in the depths of depression ever since.

    Naturally, this ruined my own vactation, and after having had such a good time previously, I was suddenly very unhappy. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything, and was totally miserable. All I could think about was Michael sitting at home alone, for the next eight days -- including Christmas day.

    Fortunately, I have a wonderful, liberal thinking family who's always there for others. They finally decided that the only course of action was to have Michael come down to NC and spend the remainder of the time with us. So, he's flying down tomorrow.

    I know he's going to still be very unhappy about the situation with his Mother, but I really think that he'll get caught up in the total zanyness that's so much a part of my family. I'm in hopes that this next week may turn out to be a happy one, after all.
    -Chris



    Male, 58 5'4"
    First time around: 218/147/135 -- 71 pounds lost
    This time around: 193.5/184.5/135 -- 9 pounds lost

    Down 33.5 pounds from highest weight

  • #2
    Re: Another off topic MIL thread

    Oh Chris, it is a sad thing when parents choose that path. I have seen it happen and can only offer my support and prayers thru this difficult time. It can be excrutiatingly painful for those involved.

    Hopefully with the blessing of time your mil will see the error of her ways and realize that what truely is important is the happiness of her son. And that happiness includes you in his life. And if she doesnt, I hope that your so can find peace in knowing that her problem isnt about the two of you but within herself.

    Some people really need to take a good loooooooooooooong look in the mirror once in awhile.

    <chris & michael>

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Another off topic MIL thread

      Sorry to hear his mom is such a PITA, but I am very glad to hear that your family is taking him in and making him feel like part of your family for he holiodays...... SHows the true spirit of Christmas there....

      And way to go on avoiding the Xmas goodies!!!!

      RE-RE-Start date 1/16/06
      Top weight- 237
      SW: 225(backslid 6lbs with the holidays)
      CW: 225
      Mini Goal 200 (going to get hair extensions put in when I reach this weight)
      GW: 165
      26/female


      Knicknack Challenge!!! - 14 days cheat free



      Before- 233

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      • #4
        Re: Another off topic MIL thread

        Maybe dear old Mumsie needs to get sent a link to this thread (evil laugh)




        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Another off topic MIL thread

          Oh Chris that is so wonderful for you that your family opened their house to your SO and now y'all can spend the holidays together as you were lamenting that before. I'm just sorry it took his mothers meanness to allow this to happen for y'all.
          T hope his mother will be one of those typical overreacting parents and will come to love and acept you both as a part of her life and legacy. I know my folks weren't model gay child parents in the beginning and had the usual fears of "contaminating" the other kids but with education they became very accepting and you'd never know they were anything but with the way they care and share with the SOs of their gay kids. Heck I teased my Dad he rembered my sisters SO's b-day and always bought her a gift from the list he would request from my sister, but would forget mine for several months.

          Hope you and all of yours have a very specail first Christmas as a family.
          by the book atkinseer

          started 6/1/02 at 313
          goalie 5/04 at 167 with under 15% body fat ADBB Presidents exercise Challenge


          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Another off topic MIL thread

            Chris-
            I missed this thread previously. How is Michael doing now? Also, how is your mother doing with her health problems?
            Val

            38f, 5'7"
            153/148/135?

            16/80 November Mileage Challenge
            6/20 November Video Challenge

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            • #7
              Re: Another off topic MIL thread

              Originally posted by BoxerMom
              Chris-
              I missed this thread previously. How is Michael doing now? Also, how is your mother doing with her health problems?
              Mom is still fighting the gallant fight. Her type of cancer is very slow growing, but, in spite of all the efforts so far, it is still growing, nonetheless.

              Michael and his Mom are really at odds. She's driving us crazy, because she does not want him here with me, and is trying her best to get him to leave. He doesn't want to alienate his family, so he almost feels that he has to choose between her and me. So far, though, he's choosing me, but the stress on both of us is really miserable.

              I think we're just going to try to get away for the weekend, so that we can enjoy each other's company in total peace.
              -Chris



              Male, 58 5'4"
              First time around: 218/147/135 -- 71 pounds lost
              This time around: 193.5/184.5/135 -- 9 pounds lost

              Down 33.5 pounds from highest weight

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Another off topic MIL thread

                Tell the bat to get back in her cave!

                I hope you can get away for some alone time--you need it and deserve it.
                Val

                38f, 5'7"
                153/148/135?

                16/80 November Mileage Challenge
                6/20 November Video Challenge

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Another off topic MIL thread

                  Oh, Chris, anyone who would read someone's mail is non-worthy of any respect. Michael will need to deal with his feelings about Mom and you must be there to support, but don't get between them, cause the blood is thicker saying is mostly true.



                  41 pounds down and counting

                  If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else. - Yogi Berra

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                  • #10
                    Re: Another off topic MIL thread

                    Wow, Chris, the MIL stuff never ends. I don't know if you remember, but i am the one that had all the MIL problems at Thanksgiving. Yuck. I truly detest this person. She causes such pain in all our lives. However, my dh as well as his loving brothers refuse to "let her go" and keep her in our lives. As a result, we just rarely see her or the rest of the family, which is a shame. It COULD be so wonderful.

                    I can tell you that Michael will always, always feel sadness at his mother's reaction. There is not way that you "fix" this problem however hard you try or however badly you want to. It is our understandable reaction to want to fix his sadness. The only thing that you can really do it be there for him and make as many of his moments as happy as you possibly can.

                    Oh, and I have learned to also try to restrain myself from bad mouthing her as much as possible. It keeps me being the innocent good guy in my dh's eyes.
                    149.8/no weigh/ 119



                    1st goal: 139 (earlier weight)
                    what the rungs mean to me:
                    rung 1 - more veggies
                    rung 2 - dairy (some milk in coffee)
                    rung 3 - seeds, nuts (mostly sprinkled on salads)
                    rung 4 - berries, melon
                    rung 5 - wine -
                    rung 6 - beans, hummus
                    rung 7 - other fruits
                    rung 8 - carrots/ potatoes (nah, prolly not)
                    rung 9 - whole grains (fresh Dutch breads...)
                    Major Goal - 128 lbs/ healthy range
                    (on to pre-maintenance)

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