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Well, folks, here I am, again. Many of you might not know who I am, but quite a few do.
I titled this post about my shame, because I let the bad things in life get in the way of taking proper care of myself -- and I had sworn, right here on this board, that I'd never make that mistake, again.
Last February I had major abdominal surgery. When I came home from the hospital I was 12 pounds from goal, weighing 147. I'll be honest, and admit that within days of being at home that I began to "taste the forbidden" during my recuperation.
As soon as I was able to return to work, I was sent to our New Orleans office to setup a new network system after having the old one totally destroyed by Katrina. While there, I stayed in a hotel in which the rooms had no microwave or refrigerator -- but, hey, there was a free "continental" breakfast! You can guess the rest.
The second week after I returned to Virginia, I fell and broke my kneecap. Fortunately, the break was on an edge, and didn't cross the cap, so no surgery was involved, but I still had to wear a cast for some time. Naturally, no real exercise was possible.
All of that was followed by the greatest catastrophe of my life -- the loss of my mother. After that, I just didn't care what I ate or how much.
The final result? Simply this: I regained a total of 46.5 pounds, taking me up to 193.5 (and yes, it IS possible to gain 46 pounds in six months!). My migraine headaches returned -- with a vengeance! -- as did a chronic skin problem and, sometimes severe, acid reflux. I've no idea what happened with my cholesterol, but, at least, my blood pressure stayed within a normal range.
Even more embarrassing than what I did to myself, however, is what I allowed myself to do to the so many here at ADBB who've shown themselves, time and again, to be my true friends. I quit coming to the board. I JUST QUIT! Mind you, I'm a former Administrator of ADBB, and, was, as of last February, a moderator of this very forum.
Why did I just leave without saying anything to anyone -- or even bothering to reply to the emails from the well meaning souls who cared about where I was? It was because I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I had allowed myself to fall off the wagon for ANY reason -- and I just didn't want to come on the board and admit it. Here I was, the guy who'd preached to so many about letting the frustations of life cause you to lose track of what you want to achieve, and yet, I did that very thing, myself.
I'm not sure that some of you can ever really forgive me. Oh, I know that you will all say that you do; but, I realize, so well, just how much I let down those dear people who genuinely cared. I let you down in a way that's pretty tough to just forget.
However, I'll say this: I'm back, to try again. I've lost 7 of those 46.5 regained pounds, and I'm going to do my darndest to lose the rest -- and then make it to goal. I've been back on Atkins for a few weeks, now, so the migraines and the acid reflux have already disappeared, and the skin problem (dishydrosis) almost so. If only those excess pounds would come off so easily.
So, please, everyone, I ask that you kindly tolerate my return in whatever fashion suits you, and I'll try my best to not let any of you good people down, ever again.
I titled this post about my shame, because I let the bad things in life get in the way of taking proper care of myself -- and I had sworn, right here on this board, that I'd never make that mistake, again.
Last February I had major abdominal surgery. When I came home from the hospital I was 12 pounds from goal, weighing 147. I'll be honest, and admit that within days of being at home that I began to "taste the forbidden" during my recuperation.
As soon as I was able to return to work, I was sent to our New Orleans office to setup a new network system after having the old one totally destroyed by Katrina. While there, I stayed in a hotel in which the rooms had no microwave or refrigerator -- but, hey, there was a free "continental" breakfast! You can guess the rest.
The second week after I returned to Virginia, I fell and broke my kneecap. Fortunately, the break was on an edge, and didn't cross the cap, so no surgery was involved, but I still had to wear a cast for some time. Naturally, no real exercise was possible.
All of that was followed by the greatest catastrophe of my life -- the loss of my mother. After that, I just didn't care what I ate or how much.
The final result? Simply this: I regained a total of 46.5 pounds, taking me up to 193.5 (and yes, it IS possible to gain 46 pounds in six months!). My migraine headaches returned -- with a vengeance! -- as did a chronic skin problem and, sometimes severe, acid reflux. I've no idea what happened with my cholesterol, but, at least, my blood pressure stayed within a normal range.
Even more embarrassing than what I did to myself, however, is what I allowed myself to do to the so many here at ADBB who've shown themselves, time and again, to be my true friends. I quit coming to the board. I JUST QUIT! Mind you, I'm a former Administrator of ADBB, and, was, as of last February, a moderator of this very forum.
Why did I just leave without saying anything to anyone -- or even bothering to reply to the emails from the well meaning souls who cared about where I was? It was because I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I had allowed myself to fall off the wagon for ANY reason -- and I just didn't want to come on the board and admit it. Here I was, the guy who'd preached to so many about letting the frustations of life cause you to lose track of what you want to achieve, and yet, I did that very thing, myself.
I'm not sure that some of you can ever really forgive me. Oh, I know that you will all say that you do; but, I realize, so well, just how much I let down those dear people who genuinely cared. I let you down in a way that's pretty tough to just forget.
However, I'll say this: I'm back, to try again. I've lost 7 of those 46.5 regained pounds, and I'm going to do my darndest to lose the rest -- and then make it to goal. I've been back on Atkins for a few weeks, now, so the migraines and the acid reflux have already disappeared, and the skin problem (dishydrosis) almost so. If only those excess pounds would come off so easily.
So, please, everyone, I ask that you kindly tolerate my return in whatever fashion suits you, and I'll try my best to not let any of you good people down, ever again.
Nice to meet you btw!
). I know from past experience that one of the best ways of getting rid of a craving for a cigarette is to exercise it off. In the terrible shape I'm in, though, I've just got to figure out an exercise that I can do!
...Was in HEAVEN -got to 150, for awhile, then got too busy, and gave in too much... and... OK holding pattern "keep it together..." 
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