I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

[wonderboy87]

first of all i'm a 19 year old male who is in first year university...

well it was the summer after grade 11 (2004, when i was 17) that i've discovered the atkins, and lost a great deal of fat, and when i was back in grade 12, everyone was shocked and i felt like a rock star (actually not but enjoyed it very much)... kept the weight off, kept workin out during grade 12, then after grade 12, my family had to relocate to a city where i knew noone, and i had to go back to high school for one more semester, knew noone, and hated school, worked long hours, anyways, long story short i gained quite a bit of weight... tried losing it , but failed everytime.. anyways come around summer, i got into a very good university, and a place in residence...

yet again tried to lose the weight during summer but just didn't happen... now here i am... in my rez room, the first month was a blast, but because of the rez food, i started gaining alot more weight, right now i have stretch marks all over my stomach, it's disgusting, and after 4-6 weeks, i became very self-consicous, and started makin excuses not to go out with my friends here... i try to go on a diet everyday... but i fail everytime... for example this morning, i woke up, had an omelette with cheese... after 3 hours of lectures, came back to rez with a plan in mind to have a big bowl of salad, but they had my favorites... chicken balls, and egg rolls (somehow when i try to go on a diet, everything is my favorite... just another excuse i guess)... and then i had them... and the diet was off...i feel bad while i'm eating it but i can't stop myself... once i go into our food place, i just wanna eat anything... and since i try to go on the diet literally everynight, i binge eat like everynight... as i'm writing this, i'm planning on goin to the cafe downstairs to grab some cheesecake and i proably will do it even after writing all this....... i really wanna lose weight over this christmas break... this week is the last week, then we have finals till the 18th, and back in jan 8th... i wanna suprise everyone like i did in grade 12... i know it's such a short time, but even if it's a small weight loss, i wanna do it... but it's just seems impossible... when i did atkins 2004 summer, i was so dedicated, i didn't have this obsession with food.... i feel very depressed and disgusted of myself for doing this to myself, but seems kinda impossible to stop... plannin on goin a diet tomorrow everyday is really depressing... i dunno why i'm typin this here, but i just wanted to kinda let it out, and tell someone.....

thanx for takin the time to read my post....

[Lyssie]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

Heya Wonderman. So I get starving when I do the first couple days of induction, then go hunting food - which is usually high carby 'cause it's faster to find. Any chance you can keep snackies around to have that you can grab before you have a chance to find anything like cheesecake?? It doesn't have to start in the morning - I didn't start first thing in the morning this time around - all you do is say, the next bite is low carb, and keep doing it 'til the cravings end. I know I'm trying to make it sound so simple and it's so much different when you're looking at the yummy food that it's kinda like, instant eating versus finding something you don't really want.

Is it possible for you to get like, a mini-fridge in your room? Keep it stocked. Are you drinking your water? Try and eat a snack, have some water, reevaluate if you really want something before you have it. Figure out if you're looking for something to do, or if you're actually hungry, come on here, read a little bit while you're figuring it out. We're all here to help when we can...

P.S. Welcome back to this WOL.

[emom]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing too well. We "dieters" are so hard on ourselves. I think you are being too hard on yourself and actually punishing yourself. Stop it! You have done it before and you can do it again! But...you have to remember that this is a WOL, not just a diet! I am much much older than you and it has taken me a long time of losing and gaining and losing and gaining to come to the realization that I can't just go on a diet and, poof, live like a normal person...because you know what? There are no "normal" people.

For me it has taken a long time to realize that sugar and bad carbs are poison to my body...I have always kind of known this, but refused to let go of them. A month ago i decided that I had to do something...not just about my weight but about the lack of control that i had over my own life. I decided to take my own life back, out of the hands of sugar and carbs. I am a really good person and i do a lot for others, but never do for myself. Well, a month ago i decided to get selfish and do this for me. I have always "done' it for others and have always worried so much about what others think of me. Well, now I am most worried about what I think of myself...and i don't want to hate myself...so I have found Atkins again...but this time I intend to not lose Atkins again. I am so much happier now than i was a month ago when i was full of self loathing.

I don't have as much life left as you do...but I am determined to begin living it by taking care of myself. Don't wait as long as i have. Start now, take care of your body. A healthy body and mind and soul are what really matter. All the education won't matter if you are not living life to it's fullest. You can't do that by poisoning yourself and not loving yourself. Somehow, I have found, bad carbs and sugar go hand in hand with self loathing and disgust. Start back now, okay?

You know the story...you've been through it too. Well, Wonderful Boy,

[tabekat]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

Hey Wonder, thanks for sharing. You are not losing the battle because you posted how you feel and that in itself is a big victory.

Giving you a big hug.

We all go through some turbulence when we make big lifestyle changes. It certainly isn't suprising that there is some bleed through connected to our eating behaviors. You get lots of credit for not going into denial about it, and as you make the mental adjustments required for school, your Atkins serenity and control will return.

Just be patient with yourself. Take a daily inventory where you praise yourself for all the many positive things you do every day.

Since your new lifestyle is overwhelming right now, I would just choose one Atkins principle to work on and stick to doing that one thing. Drinking enough water. A BIG breakfast. Something like that. Just do that one thing, no matter what and soon you will see other good habits naturally following the first.

Maybe you could find some peers who also do Atkins. Perhaps it would be possible to post a flyer at school asking other Atkineers to contact you.

Congratulations for having the courage to go to school and learn new things. Give yourself a big pat on the back. And a big pat of butter on those veggies or mock danish! heh..heh!

[wonderboy87]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

i think, like Lyssie, i go in to our rez place, and see the food just ready to go, and i just crave in... so i'm goin out shoppin for my mini fridge... but what would make a good snacks.... i think i'm gonna go buy cheese, and green tea, and clean my never-used-before coffee machine for morning green tea...and i think i'm gonna buy one of those pre-mixed salad thingies so i can make my salad (the rez charges us like crazy, a moderately filled salad costs about 6 bux here) and i think i'll buy celery... any other ideas to fill up my minifridge...

yes ADBB, pimp my minifridge...

[knicknack]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

Wonderboy, trying to do atkins at the cafeterias was like trying to drive a square peg into a round hole. Ugh!!!

here's how I made it. I bought whatever I could find to keep in my room in the dorm. Cheese, beef jerky, dry sausage, etc... The first few days you're probably going to have to eat every few hours to keep yourself on track. Eat the eggs for breakfast, then some cheese at like 10, salad with tuna for lunch. More cheese at like 3, dinner, beef jerky at 10. etc... Just eat all day, legal snacks that you are buying. there's really no other way, in my opinion, when you're at the mercy of the cafeteria.

The other option would be to eat in restaurants for the first week or so. Might cost you some money, but on the other hand, it'd be worth it.

If you have a mini fridge, here's what i'd buy:

premade salad
spinach
cheese
cold cuts
cans of tuna, chicken, etc... any kind of meat that is canned and has 0 carbs
beef jerky
sausage (the dry kind - saucisson or something)
celery
precooked chicken strips if they have those
blue cheese dressing
hard boiled eggs (do you have any way to boil eggs?)

Eat eggs at the cafeteria for bfast, cheese and cold cuts for snacks, and half the bag of salad with a can of tuna or chicken or something for lunch and dinner. it's boring, but it'll get you past the first week when you can't say no.

[Lyssie]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

Uhmmm... if I need snackies in my life, I get:

beef jerky (if you can make your own, Julirama723 posted a recipe, making your own has less carbs - I dunno if you can at your parents house or something and take back to school with you??)
Cold cuts - I eat sliced turkey breast with horseradish sauce or mayo like it's going out of season
Hard Boiled eggs - or if you have a microwave, you can cook eggs in there in like, a minute or so... take them out of the shell first
cheese (string cheese, american, brie, and CREAM CHEESE)
spinach (it's yummier than lettuce once you get into it)
mayo to go with the canned tuna or canned chicken
smoked salmon (aka LOX) can be rolled up with the cream cheese, or eaten on slices of cucumbers with the cream cheese
salad dressing

I dunno, if you have a microwave, I can give you a bigger list of things to keep stocked... along with if you have freezer space in the fridge, I don't remember how big those things are - it's been a while... Also, if you don't live that far from your parents, and you can go home on weekends and make food to bring back with you, I can give you plans (it's psycho, but most of what I eat is grabbed out of the fridge and eaten, or grabbed and nuked, then eaten).

[RachelnLa]

Re: I'm losing the battle........ very misareable

Wow. Awesome advice and suggestions!

I was where you are too at one point. I finally decided I cannot lose weight by slipping over and over again. I was wasting my exercise and water drinking. Heck..I hated to exercise. I was spinning my wheels. I finally decided I wanted to lose weight MORE than I wanted to stay heavy. So I put exercise, water and diet into play all together. I started first with getting drinking water and eating under control. Once I felt secure in that I started the exercise. I'm not perfect, but my good days far outweigh my bad ones It's a learning process. Don't ever give up!