I need help.

[Kittie]

I stand on the digital scale in my kitchen every day, looking down at that number. This "number" is very much nearing 200. It has continued to climb for the past 6 months, and I have allowed it to do so. I know I have it allowed it to.

Yet, I just cannot find the strength to stop my self-destructing habits. I have gained over forty pounds since quitting Atkins. I eat fast food every day. I order pizza at least once a week.

I am especially becoming frightened about my health. I am still young at 23 years old, yet I constantly feel TIRED and sleepy and lifeless. When I get twelve hours of sleep, I feel as if I haven't slept at all.

I have chest pains. I feel dizzy at times when I've had to walk for even a few minutes. My lifestyle has become extremely sedentary. I live with my boyfriend, and both of us spend the entire day sitting and using our computers, or in bed. The few times we go out, we drive, and it's usually to get food or go to a movie.

I have a real fear that I am at near-risk for diabetes.

I feel like I am in a nightmare. I feel hopeless. And I KNOW I am bringing this upon my self. I have continued to poison myself with carbs and sugar. I feel like my body is constantly riddled with sugar. But my addiction to it has become so overwhelming that I feel too out-of-control to do anything.

I am constantly depressed about my weight, my (failing) relationship, and my life in general and feel like I'm headed for a downward spiral. I had dreams of modeling. I feel like I'm wasting away my youth and health.

I don't have the monetary means to buy Atkins-friendly groceries right now, but I really need to stop making excuses. There is a fitness center with exercise equipment in my complex, as well as a very convienient and cheap gym around the block. I have a Video iPod that I never make use of which would be a wonderful jogging companion.

I want to start Atkins as soon as I can, but just... can't immediately buy the groceries, and am surrounded by sugar and carb-laden junk in the fridge. I have thought that even if it meant I'd just stop by the store and buy a day's worth of food, I need to do this immediately. I'm just so desperate. I would appreciate any encouraging words or advice you guys have.

[SandyL2002]

Re: I need help.

(((KITTIE))) When you are ready you will do this.. Sit down today and make a plan..figure out some foods you can have.. You can take a pack of Hamburger and make hamburgers for a couple of meals and add a veggie.. You can do this this! You know when you get past the 3 or 4 days you are going to feel so much better..

BUT you have to want it.. Keep telling yourself.. I HAVE to do this.. or you are going to spend the rest of your life miserable... and please come here and read read read...it will help to encourage you

[tmn]

Re: I need help.

Garbage in, garbage out, Kitty. The junk food and all isn't giving your body and brain the nutrition it needs. So you have a ton of Catch-22's going around in circles.

Junk food isn't cheap! If you can buy that, you can go to the store and buy better food. Don't sweat stocking up the kitchen and fridge, just get some eggs, canned veggies and a some meat to start with. Every time you are ready to head out for some fast food or pizza, head to that store instead.

Can't help you with your relationship but I'll tell you what - there's too much to enjoy in life. To lie around in bed or sit in front of a computer all day would send me off in the deep end. Bundle up and get outside. Throw a picnic basket together, head to the park, grill and eat burgers there, go for a walk, just get outside into the great outdoors! Be resourceful - there are a lot of things you can do with little money. Think it's too cold to cook outside? No way! Winter grilling is the best!

Time to grab Life by the horns and live, Girl! Not just the Atkins WOE, but everything! Kayaking, biking, fishing, camping, hiking, on and on. It's all a blast! The more you do these things, the more incentive and desire you'll have to get better.

Rock-n-roll, Kitty! You're too precious to waste your life in bed or in front of a computer! LIVE LIFE!

[Yo Yo Girl]

Re: I need help.

Hi Kittie. I can feel your desperation and can relate. The worst thing I used to do was to think about how much weight I had to lose overall - I just felt so overwhelmed because it felt like too much to accomplish. I have had to learn to be patient and take it one day at a time. I got to a stage where I was binging on high carb foods constantly throughout the day, not just to feed my addiction, but because it temporarily numbed the fact that I was spiralling out of control. If I were you I would not carry on like this for one more day. It feels so hard to start at first because you feel weak and sluggish and so hopeless. But if you just do one day you will feel better and gradually gain more motivation. Just focus on each day.

Also, do you feel like your boyfriend is enabling you to live this unhealthy lifestyle, or maybe he is not the best influence on you with your eating? I know it may be difficult, but one of the most important things with adapting to this WOE I have found is to have a solid support system.

Best of luck. You can do it.

[OzLover]

Re: I need help.

Do you have DANDR book? I would start by reading the book...the entire book. The groceries are no more expensive than eating fast food & junk food. You don't have to eat steak & lobster. Get some eggs, hamburger, some cheese. Frozen veggies are cheap. In the produce section you can frequently get reduced priced veggies that can be sauteed that same day. Ground turkey is cheap as is hamburger. There are lots of recipes.


You are young & have an opportunity to start a new healthy lifestyle!! Grab the bull by the horns & get started. Come to ADBB often for help & knowledge.

[Kittie]

Re: I need help.

I feel better already, thanks so much for your encouragement. I was afraid I'd come off seeming just... pathetic and pitiful. I don't know. It's hard, it really is hard. I remember when I WAS on Atkins, telling myself, "Hey this isn't hard at all!" But once you get off track, the longer you eat junk, the harder it gets to motivate yourself. And you just want to crawl into a hole. You had great suggestions, tmn , but there are many times when I simply feel too embarrassed to go out in public. I know, I know I can't make excuses. I need to seize the day, or life will pass me by and I'll look back on all this with extreme regret.

Yo Yo Girl - I don't want to blame my weight gain on one thing or person -- I know I'm in control of myself. My boyfriend himself is obese and has been for most of his life. He does intend to lose weight as well, but I do sometimes feel that he encourages these habits. ( I'll deliberate eating something unhealthy for example, and he'll chime in that "we really shouldn't, but just for tonight".) I often really do wish he, or just anyone, would be there to inspire me to NOT give in to all my food addictions.

I have thoroughly read DANDR, and understand how Atkins works. I'm not new to this and I know I can do it. I lost 20 pounds last year and felt the best I ever had.

I will go to the store later and buy those few things. I just have to get started.
Thanks everyone for your wonderful support.

[Yo Yo Girl]

Re: I need help.

Kittie - sorry babe - did not want to give you the impression that you were blaming anything on anyone. I just know that when I was with this guy (before my husband), he was an enabler, and he would often be a trigger for my bad eating. It would be so great if you could turn this into a project that you and your boyfriend could do together. My husband can eat whatever he wants, and even though he is supportive, it kinda feels like I'm on my own sometimes.

As you said, you have done it before, so you can definitely do it again.

Cheers

[lc_angel_08]

Re: I need help.

Kittie I don't know if this will help you or not but it made all the difference for me. I had gotten sick and gained about 50 pounds my doctor told me I had to start exercising everyday and told me to go on atkins. I didnt want to but he told me point blank do what he said or dont complain to him when I was laying in the hospital with a heart attack or a stroke. So I used that to help motivate me every time I didn't want to work out that day I would picture myself in that hospital bed and every time I would decide hey working out is alot better then option. I did the same thing with food if I wanted pizza or doughnut I would see myself in that hospital bed. It helped to look honestly at what my choices were. I had a choice I could eat what I wanted and not exercise if I wanted to but I was going to pay the price for it. That image helped to motivate me at first but it didnt take long and I started to love working out. After a few weeks the cravings for the wrong foods went away. Now 3 years later I am still working out still on atkins and staying within a few pounds of my goal weight one way or another.